June 30, 2015

Last night, in anticipation of this morning’s need for sleep, I arranged to be late at work.  Wouldn’t ya know, L texted me at 7 something and I couldn’t get back to sleep. It felt good, though, to be able to lie in the hot morning air..ok, maybe it wasn’t hot yet, but it wouldn’t that much longer till it was in the hundreds.  I miss winter.

Soon the kids were up (on my beckoning) as I wanted to go to Old Navy to get some “nice clothes” for CR (shorts, in particular, for Maggie), but Ethan said he had everything he needed so it was just Mags and I.  We headed out in the bus because I wanted to make sure Lizzie was feeling ok for our adventure to Quincy Thursday morning.  Mags complimented me on my  stickshifting <giggle> and we headed onto the highway where…I couldn’t get her into second gear..it wasn’t there..first wasn’t there, either.  No gears anywhere.  I quickly moved over to the right side <GASP!> until I got her into a gear, any gear and we sputtered.  OHNOOOOO…not now!  Not hours before High Sierra!!  I was suddenly in a very sadbad mood.  Still, I have a tendency to overreact, so maybe I wouldn’t need a new clutch.  Plans were changed, however, from Old Navy down the hill, to Styles for Less, just across form the mechanic.  We got clothes for Mags – somehow, by some miracle, there were a pair of shorts that wouldn’t flash my sweet 11 years old’s ass to the world, so we got those.  Puttered over (somehow making it up the little slope in 2^nd gear after waving other cars on) and I walked in to Drew’s office, after elegantly gliding Lizzie in on a side slant.  He saw me walk in and smiled as I’m sure I was expected, then I explained to the issue.  I think I have built up a relationship with him as he got out and test drove it, and told me the gears are fine, it’s probably the link.  They’d check it out later that day – he keeps the parts and I should be able to get it tomorrow.  He even gave Maggie and myself a ride home.  Whew….

Ethan laughed as we walked in the door.  It really is a game of chance when I leave in that bus as to if I’m driving home in Lizzie or someone else.  He had gotten the Tshirt I had ordered (again) for his classmate (Mags left the other one at school and it has long since disappeared…and told me he was glad it hadn’t been signed on the Tshirt in sharpie, as I had done to the other – now gone- Tshirt.  I smiled, because I had kept the autograph receipt from the other shirt.  See how  life works out?  Took Maggie to her friend’s house, then….

Off to work for group and a client and home where I texted Des that the pups were now available for their walk-through of her premises (she very graciously offered to keep the dogs while I’m at High Sierra).  Ethan leashed ‘em up and we headed out.  Oddly, Annie was quitter on this road adventure than ever before.  Ohyeah…the bark hurts much worse than any bite.  I think the dogs will be very happy here as it seems the Thomas family will take excellent care of them. 

 

I looked at Ethan’s “nice” clothes for vacation and was sad – flannel shirts and dark jeans.  We were going to the tropics, not the Arctic, so I convinced him to go with me and we would get him some nice clothes…and it worked!  Khaki pants, shorts and slacks, plus a button-down shirt and nice shirt.  Wow,  that boy is growing up.  

Pictures:  Lizzie's resting home for a night - hopefully; My sunscreen repair yesterday with Plastimake; The 2nd shirt with the 1st shirt's receipt; Annie was very excited to be heading to Des's house, she just didn't know it.

June 29, 2015

My cool dark cloud of pillows was delightful and I didn't want to get up - but if I didn't get things going, we would miss breakfast.  Not having any luggage made things considerably faster - we were up and out of the room in minutes and soon enjoying a lovely breakfast where Maggie made me pancakes.  Naturally, and without thought, I pushed a man's toast back down again when it popped up - thinking I had inadvertently caused it to pop up...then I went on my merry mental way, completely missing the smoke billowing from the toaster as the bread burnt black.  Two families left the breakfast area as the smoke was too think to handle.  I am awesome.

We headed off...I was already exhausted when we pulled out of the parking lot, but that's neither here nor there.  I was glad we had stopped so I could get a good night's sleep.  We headed up the 99 and had adventure after adventure.  Following a roadside sign mention of a particular olive oil, the kids and I exited in Pixley and tried to find the olive oil stand...instead driving through vineyards and neighborhoods.  Still, so much fun.  We headed up, again, driving, driving, driving...

Which brings me to my pet peeve:  If people would use the left lane for passing only - do you REALIZE how much faster we could travel?  How much gas and patience would be saved?  So much Miami Vice driving - in and out of the lanes, passing these people who have no idea how they are blocking others. 

Eventually we made it home...grateful and happy dogs, who had spent their first night alone.  I was exhausted - so much so that I fell asleep on a comforter..on the floor...in the living room... by the front door.  Maggie thought I was folding laundry and had gotten bored.  I needed that nap, apparently.

Later, after we had settled in, I unscrewed the sun visor on the bus (the new one is a few centimeters too short) and got out the Plastimake I'd ordered from Australia so I could repair it and the kids made crafts.  This stuff is amazing - you heat it u in hot water, shape it and cool it to a rock hard plastic.  If you want to re-do it, you simply heat it again.  The sun visor is perfect now.  I ran to Kmart to grab a popup which was on sale for an amazing amount and then...bed.   My Tribe is with me again and I am ever so grateful.  I think I love them hopelessly.


Pictures: The elevator down; The Boy's breakfast ; A must-have for road trips; Crafts with Plastimake.

June 28, 3015

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I am SOOO tired after the last couple of days – but have to get this written so it isn’t lost forever:

I woke up after maybe 4 hours sleep (I was too excited after the show and remembering everything) and I knew I had limited time, so I got up and out rather quickly.  I still had half a tank, so I decided to fill up and remembered too late that I hadn’t uploaded an audio book, so I went to a coffee shop (no –not that one) and after a half hour (there goes the time I’d saved), I had one going.  The problem is I couldn’t figure out how to listen…iTunes is kinda confusing.  Finally ended up with 2 books – I got started on one.

I wrote down notes to write about later, but I’ve forgotten what I meant by “Foster’s Freeze” – maybe that I stopped there to fill up, but probably more about the old lady in the restroom who took so long –because bless her heart – she was confused, and her daughter (older than me) was helping her so kindly.  That’s where I’ll be soon – I know, because…well…you’ll see later (and I was only tired).  I wrote about the trailer being hauled which looked like it had remnants of cotton in it (reminded me of  my childhood days in Texas) but when I passed it was garlic head skins….  Where have all those cotton fields gone?  Outsourced, surely.  Makes me sad.

Right as I was passing Magic Mountain, L called…seems he had talked to his brother and that the kids had really been fine – not the little monsters described to us.  I was so glad to hear this – yes, I understand the moods with teens and how I am practically bald from pulling my hair out with The Boy – but really – they are both good kids.  It was weird being in LA again as a kickass driver and not one that has panic attacks.  Being able to do 80 on LA Freeways is a sense of empowerment – not that I did that.  I made it to Dana Point and saw the place I’d last been as that 13 year old was bulging in my womb.  It was a nice memory.  I was texted that she didn’t know where I was – they were at the Oceanic Institute – down from the gazebo I’d been married in.  It was SOOO terrific to see those kids.  They were tan and happy to see me as beaming faces evidenced.  

I took them to Thai This – the restaurant their dad and I frequented on our weekends there – it was far too expensive and not as anymore.  We left and Sergio (male Siri) gave us some directions that were totally weird – on the 5 North, exit the 73 (tollbooth) only to get on the 5 again.  Yet I have to say LA with the sun setting boldly behind it, looked better than I’d ever seen it.  After a failed dinner and lost directions, we were more behind than ever and I was still so exhausted from the previous night’s festivities.  Driving to sac wasn’t going to work.

Naturally I hadn’t planned on staying the night and had nothing – we planned to stop at a Target which closed at 11 in Bakersfield and the drive continued.  I was tied – so my other me’s came out.  I was speaking in a German accent   - or shrieking “China Cat Sunflower!!”  at the top of my lungs.  Ethan (and Mags is starting, as well) has been taping me secretly and already has quite the collection of evidence when it is time to question my sanity. He hit the motherlode tonight.  Grabbed everything at Target, headed to our hotel (after a detour through residential neighborhoods via Sergio – it was very odd).  We got to the hotel as the police were searching a beat up old pickup truck, looking for drugs or weapons.  FunFun.  The clerk, Michelle, took one look at my face and upgraded us to a quitter, larger room.  After Pizza for This Boy Who Is Growing, I passed out – to sleep forever more.  Right?

Pictures:  The kids and I in Sampson's Gazebo; The compass in the gazebo; LA Beauty - show by Mags

June 27, 2015

Up...slept late, til 9 o'clock,' but it was so good.  Coffee and getting ready to go.  I didn't play any music at home initially, but Jerry was soon singing to me, excited that I'd finally make it to a Dead show.  I needed to grab bones for the dogs, so off to the store.  As I filled up the car, I wrote "Grateful ⚡️for 50" on the back window.  Soon, I was off.

I had a nice talk with my mom as I headed through Sacramento.  Lots of traffic: Pride in SF, GD and Giants, plus regular weekend traffic...but life was good.  I had written a letter this morning, and everything would be ok regarding the CR trip and dogs/airport.  The dogs will have an adventure while I'm at High Sierra, though, andf I think that's good for them.


 Made it to Santa Clara just after 3 and found Blue Lot1.  I'm not here tail-gating with anyone, but I see how fun it is if you're with your tribe.  I headed back and forth-twice in poster line, third time was the charm. Headed in and sat, eating my nachos, right across from a recovery stand.  Tell me Universe isn't watching out for me! Up, up, up and I was finally in my seat.

Half an hour later than planned, they began.  What a trip....  Bruce  Hornsby- I saw him 25 years ago in Switzerland.  A rainbow appeared...Julie Strickler was right, he'd show up:  Jerry was here.  The songs were terrific... Truckin' was first, Uncle John's Cabin, Dark Star, St. Stephen and others.  Fireworks.  I met a young couple, Tori and Dan from Chico, say next to an introvert who lives in Hayward but looked so familiar.  His brother in Chicago is the "family dead-head", but his brother from Strasbourg would be flying in to see Chicago, too.

With my impending road trip date, I knew I had to beat the crowd, so I headed out early.  Spent 25 minutes looking for my car (I didn't go back far enough), but made up the time on the freeway.  Listened to great NPR shows (the black box) and then Coast to Coast (no George Noory, though) interviewing John Potash about CIA and musicians who've mysteriously died.  Hmmm...Odd.  Jerry Garcia is dead.



Pictures:  The Grateful Dead show - Fare Thee Well, June 27, 2015, Santa Clara , CA

June 26, 2015

 Again, 3 minutes before.  It's weird.  The heat was already beginning, though and I'm not fan <3rd pun in 2 days!!>.  I was reading when I saw a high school friend comment about the Malaysian government's censorship  on another friend's post, who'd written "Well, that's good news."  And after a smidgeon of Nancy Drewing, I saw it: The United States Supreme Court had decided on a 5:4 vote for equality in marriage.  YES!!!! What a historic day in our nation!   I am thrilled for the many people who have fought discrimination and hatred.  Anyone who thinks someone would willingly choose  a life filled with these and many other negative behaviors should have their head examined.   I have two shirts which are pro-equality: one is too currently too small, and the other is a light hoodie.  Hundred degree heat?  Hoodie it is.

My client arrived on time and our sessions was lovely.  In following through with suggestions, it was becoming apparent that tiny-but-true successes were taking place and I sat with quiet tears of joy hiding in my eyes.  The Magic was in the room and what an incredible session, indeed.  Next was an eye appointment to make sure I wasn't going blind.  I was very aware of all the people over 65 in the room with eyes looking at the "Yay Gay" shirt.    Now they don't know if I'm gay or not, but I can tell you one thing - I sure as hell can't imagine being that individual, be it gay, black, a native or whatever and have to face a population of people against you.  Long ago, around '98/'99 in La Verne, CA, there was a proposition for same-sex marriage - and I posted posters outside my house that I had created  (which is not necessarily a smart thing to do - show the crazy people where you live)  in favor of the proposition.  I had a nasty, hate filled letter left at my house one morning which made me quite nervous for some time.  To have to face that kind of craziness everyday??  Hats off, SCOTUS.  I realize it wasn't a unanimous decision and there are many more battles, but Love did win.

On my list of TTD (things to do) was bank, nails, 2nd dr. appointment, and something else which I forget.  I managed to do the bank and was then captured by a Wells Fargo-ian about a new this-or-that,  I went to get pedicure (my annual pedicure, mind you), and there was a wait.  So I headed back UP the to get a book on tape for my upcoming unexpected road trip and saw they really were books on tape (I was hoping they were CDs). So back DOWN the hill, got the pedicure, then UP the hill to head to the doctor.  I noticed I had a minute, so I went by to deliver my letter of resignation at the school.  I am officially out unemployed (except for all the free work I do).  Off to the appointment, only to discover I was at the wrong office.  It is times like these when having marked the appointment down for 15 minutes earlier tahnj teh actual appointment,  then showing up 15 minutes earlier than that is terrific.

Finally (I think), I was able to  come home in the super hot heat. It was 108 in my car at one point.  Across from EDUHSD (my former place of employment), a sign read 109.  Even the air was sad from the heat as I detected a heaviness (depression).  Headed home and..at 6 there was to be a call.  Now - I'm not going to go into too much detail because this involves other people and I do not like talking for others, but it boils down to the kids, The Boy in particular, presented attitudes which were not cared for by other adults and apparently it got to a point (unbeknownst to me) of Pure Hell.  I understand this as I have been to this Hell many times with this same Boy.  However, I think there were other expectations which the Boy and the Girl, too, did not meet.  I can see both sides:  They should behave better, but then - they're teens and are NOTORIOUS for such behavior.  THAT'S THE WHOLE ISSUE WITH TEENS - their shitty attitudes.  I listened quietly - hearing these same arguments frequently during sessions.  I get it it, I do.  Yet I also understand there should be clearer communication is such issues arise.  So...while I thought about getting rid of the Grateful Dead ticket - this IS the last (and first) Grateful Dead show I can ever  attend, so I decided I would just go, leave early and head to Dana point (where L and I got married) to pick up the kids on Sunday. 

A bigger-ish issue (gold-plated troubles) is the dogs and the trips.  I specifically made the trip the length I did because I thought there be a dogwatcherfeeder in the house.  I must comment, however on the NUMBER of friends who chimed in immediately to see if and how they could help with the dogs.  I was wow-ed, indeed.  The HSMF trip is cared for, only CR remains...but excellent suggestions on a dog kennel have been mentioned and I'll call tomorrow.  I looked into a shuttle to SFO from here, so maybe just a ride to Sacramento.  Still, it will be accomplished.  Tomorrow morning I shall write a letter of understanding and empathy.  I do not want to relationship to be severed - they are kids - doing what kids do.  My mom is already MIA as a grandmother, so...<and on that, I'll let it go>.

Pictures:  YAY GAY!!  Thrilled for marriage equality; A beautiful creeper on my walk these evening; Three little birds (really - the third one was just off camera and was tiny); A brilliant sunset to a brilliant day.

June 25, 2015

Up before the alarm by three minutes. Coffee, breakfast shower and out the door to an already mid-eighties degree day.  My first client today was a “little” a young child who’d witnessed some pretty traumatic stuff and I wanted to get there a little early to prep. I’m not gonna lie – even though I’ve worked with children for years, I was a bit nervous as this is my youngest client thus far.  But by ten after and no-show, I called mom; she had forgotten to call to reschedule, so I did…for 4 that afternoon.  This being a young one, I wanted to assess and get an idea of her state before I went on vacation.

Off I wandered!  I HAD to get the bottom swimsuit piece and I wanted to get shorts or “short-like” clothing.  I stopped by a thrift store to see about jeans so I could make some “jorts” for the Dead show, but sweetjeezuslawdamighty, there was Flesh Mass on my body and nothing fit.  I got some little tanks and headed on down the road.  Stopped by second thrift and WOW!  So many bright colors!  IF the previous thrift store was for 3 decades from now (soft muted colors and sensible clothing), this was for the younger crowd (bright colors and 2 decades ago), but the line was too long for that “one” thing I found, so I did the next best thing: headed to Target.  

As I pulled in, L called, quiet stressed.  I soon found out why – those children of ours were sharing their teen-nessisity with their grandmother and she was distraught.  L was supposed to head down over the weekend to pick them up. This is tough.  He said he’d warned his mom that the kids, E in particular, were not a bowl of cherries lately with attitudes, it might not be what she was expecting but she went ahead with it.  L mentioned how he had to remind his mom about his similar behavior when he was that age.  Ahhh, how quickly we forget.  I have the Dead concert Saturday night, but love adventures and we have a blast with road trips.  So I’ll come home, sleep and then head down south Sunday.  I went in to Target and found a swimsuit bottom <thank god it’s just my kids I’m vacationing with> and a few “short-like”  pieces of clothing.  Up the hill – a quick lunch <pleasedon’taskwhere – pleasedon’taskwhere> <ok, fine!!  The taqueria with the delicious carnitas burrito> then car wash to prep the Mazda for her Dead inauguration and sudden trip to SoCal.

Headed back to work in time for group, where memories of many “By the Grace of God” memories came back and soon, it was time for my little client.  All that nervousness for naught: within minutes I was on the floor with her and we were playing, just like so many hours with the Montessori kids - with ALL the little kids-  I’ve worked with.  It was beautiful.  After, I stayed a bit, then headed home.

 

I bought salad.  A BIG container of salad.   I’m not happy with this body – primarily because of clothing and I refuse to buy bigger and bigger clothing, but also because it hurts.  I’m not caring for it and so it is showing me this disapproval.  I want to change a few things around – switch the Ds to Bs, get back to climbing.  Gym happens after I get back.  I thought about it and I don’t want to pay for 2 weeks I won’t use it.  Spoke with my sweet sister tonight – I dislike that she is three hours ahead now, rather than two, but I’ll get accustomed to it.  Sold my car pass to HSMF and will be sleeping an RV park with electrical hookups, instead.  I love that.  I can sleep.  

Pictures:  Marks on my windshield from all my hiking adventures.  At the car wash, the guys were looking at all the scratches on the body. #nofear; A bee I managed to shoot; Beautiful sunset on our <hot> walk tonight; Meeting David in Rancho to hand off the car pass on Tuesday.