August 31, 2014

My last dream of the morning involved a beautiful woman I had worked with in Montessori:  I was in her math class and she was teaching us math  (FOIL).  I had issues:  my pencil’s lead wasn’t sharp and the pencil sharpener wasn’t working, so for the entire demonstration I was trying to sharpen my pencil.  Throw in something about me leaving on a trip to Mexico, but it not working and I had no tickets as proof, nor any pictures, and so she made me take a math exam instead of getting to watch a movie.  She was not very happy with me.  When I finally did wake up in escape of this mathematical hell, I noticed it was quite a bit warmer in the rest of the house, then noticed to my dismay the burner under the tea pot had been on all night (I had intended to boil water so the next batch of kefir water could be started this morning).  This is the second time this has happened, making me quite nervous about life in my “golden years”, unless these are my golden years, in which case I need to start looking for help in my platinum years.

My plan for the day  (after I poked around on the computer to see if the fan was working, which I had no way of telling because I turned the damn thing OFF.  Still, I sprayed compressed air in it like a professional, so we’ll see if my thighs get singed tonight.  I’m guessing yes) was to go hiking.  Initially I thought Cronan ranch, but Kristo is right, there is no snow is the Sierras, so I decided to head that way.  My Deuter backpack was too big for what I wanted to do, but my Camelback was too small, so I threw everything into my old school backpack, gave Annie a big bone to chew on, loaded Mabi up, and off we headed to get a day pass.  She was excited…knew what we were doing as soon as she saw me get down the Deuter.  There was no way I could take Annie..she doesn’t listen (I know, I know…I need to train her) and she runs off.  Besides, Mabi is my hiking buddy…right?

I saw The Boss guy I was helping out during the Sand Fire!!  He was up at the ranger station for whatever reason.    What great memories of a great day.  After I got back on the 50, I realized WHY I stay home on these holidays:  everyone is our trying to get in their last “hurrah” of summer.  The 50 was almost at a dead stop at points.  I headed up to Lake Wright, per Kristo’s suggestion of hiking to Lake Sylvia, but there were SO many cars in the trailhead lot that I just kept on driving.  I finally found a road off of the main road, and then walked until another road appeared, at which point I went off-road.  It was here that I realized my GPS was at home (not that it mattered as I still don’t know how to use it), so I began building cairns.  Eventually I was presented with a beautiful granite table and I decided lunch time was now.  As I began heating up my chicken sausage, it became clear to me that I am a novice as I burned a hole in my pan. HOW in the hell did I manage THAT???  This meant no eggs, so I had two chicken sausages (I speared them with my Leatherman and held them over the flame.  They kept falling off..onto the boulder, off the boulder into the Manzanita, but I just picked it up and kept heating.  It’ probably much cleaner here than in my kitchen <shameface>  It was a hike filled with stunningly beautiful scenery.  (**VERY IMPORTANT!!  At this point I want everyone to take note because I will be referring back to this beauty later on**)  I headed back (didn’t get lost once!!) and listened to The Mother Hips, (Chronicle Man) for the first time in months (maybe since Hipnic??)  It was a beautiful ride, all the windows open, the wind blowing through my hand (which I held out the window), the sun giving me a beautiful glowing toast.  I miss road trips and sharing experiences with someone.  Fortunately, the tribe and I will be hitting SF next weekend.

I made it home and decided to clean up some of the grass clods strewn over my driveway, as the large garden receptacle had been filled to the brim.  I filled it about halfway and watered  the flowers.  My landlord was very impressed with the work, thanked me and even drove up to see it.  I let him know about my future plans of lattices and grapes in front of the house.  Anything I do like this is taken off the rent…no worries.  :)   Once inside, I had a FANTASTIC conversation with Wonderful Tim Walker…the boy who sat behind me in AP English, if memory serves me correctly (which it often does not).  We had a heart to heart about my dormant love life and Tim, whom I have baptized  with the name of Yaetzel,is now my Jewish matchmaker and has agreed to help me find my true love.  Many who know me think this person lives in Texas. <hint - this is where you remember that I asked you to take note>  He asked if I would relocate to Texas, should he find This Man. And yet...I remembered the beauty I saw today and AS MUCH as I am wanting to get out of El Dorado County..it sure is beautiful and I love the adventures.  Tim was quite professional..asking about height, weight, profession, health, facial hair (which, of course, I turned into 70s porn-star references which then morphed into music.  It was a terrific conversation.  I miss my high school friends.  A lot of people despise FB, and while it also drives me nuts at times, the one thing it did was reacquaint me with people who had a very large impact on my life during a very difficult period.  Thanks, Guy Who Founded FB  (affectionate shoulder punch, and YES, I forgot his name).  **Around 1 in the morning the name Mark Zuckerberg came to me.  I almost posted just that, but was too close to sleep.

It was time to purchase produce so I could make the Second Best Salad Ever (after yesterday’s delights). Per Tim’s suggestion, I cruised to the grocery store listening to Stephen Stills (NOT Seales) “Manassas”.  Good stuff.  It reminds me of a time of purity in the 70s…well, purity in my life.  A good reason could be that it was released then….  The timing, btw,  has no bearing on earlier 70s pornstar facial hair.  Can’t we all just go back to the 70s?  I came home, successfully MADE a delicious salad meal (toasted croutons, made some real Italian dressing (and shockingly, I did so without including cornsyrup).  I ate two bowls of salad and holy shit, that stuff was good!!!!!  Tried watching some Netflix.  One was a TED on why you’ll never have the greatest job, the second was a documentary about a man with a small penis called “Unhung Hero”.  That was just depressing bc I personally have experienced such a man and it really doesn't matter because this cat knew how to work his machinery and it made a difference.  I decided to finish Whore’s Glory, which is quite eye-opening about how women are treated.  So to loop back to TED talk…he said to find your passion.  My passion is talking about sexuality and trying to bridge the gap between men and women, parents and children.  We’ll see where I belong. 

Pictures: walking with my Mabi..holding Mabi <btw, my boobs really aren't that big - I was wearing a bikini top and the backpack smushed everything together>

August 30, 2014

It was not difficult to sleep in this morning, and despite guilt at knowing it would be warmer for working in the yard today, I had to honor my bed and feel those cool sheets against my skin.  Sleeping and food…the two indulgences I have in life. 

It took me a good hour, plus to start moving.  I had told Kristo I would let him know when I was moving, and felt kinda bad because he was sitting in a coffee shop in Shingle Springs (though if he was ‘waiting’ on me, I have no idea…I simply take on issues that like, whether I have reason to or not) and here I was, lounging about, then listening to The Good Luck Thrift Store, dancing in my kitchen.  Still – I got it together and told him I’d be good to go in 10 minutes then  I headed outside to remove the “red beauty bark.”   He let me know he’s be here shortly.  Within a half an hour, his truck pulled in and, after almost a year of communicating ‘not-face-to-face’  I got to meet Kristo LIVE!  What a rad guy.  We talked for quite a while before getting started on the yard…he told me about parts of his AT thru hike, life, etc.  There are so many things we have in common, including a couple of life/heart-affecting incidents we share via a compound we both know of.

We headed down to Sierra Landscaping to get the black “beauty bark” (how’s that, Sabol?) and the DG for the path.  We had to make a few trips, but got everything we needed.  I was treated to a few detours and saw parts of Placerville I’ve never seen.  Kristo mentioned many hiking sites in the vicinity that I’ve never explored with the kids…looking forward to getting out there with the tribe soon.  After we unloaded the DG, I invited him to lunch as thank you for helping me transport the stuff.  The newest place since his adventure on the Appalachian Trail was Pizza Bene, so we headed there.  I honestly had a life changing salad there… no lie.  Great talking and after, we walked around Placerville a bit.  I am NOT Kidding  One Bit: it was nice hanging around a man again (DON ‘T FREAK OUT ON ME, Kristo,  I’m just making an observation since the other guys I hang out with are gay or married).  This is a terrific thing for me to realize as I had figured I was preparing for Cat-Ladyhood.

Kristo headed off and I got busy moving the DG and the bark to its new home.  Despite the lateness in the day, I broke out in a sweat quickly.  Brent pulled in across the street and we had our usual double entendre convo:  this one was about the large, hard, erect stone I had placed in the yard.  <sigh>  Considering we are both single and solo, we are really the last  who should be talking like this, seeing as we have no outlet for our “energy”<grin>   It wasn’t long after that Steve and Stephanie (the inspiration for my yard renovation) walked by.  We spoke a bit and soon everyone went back to their respective homes, I watered down the DG, going inside myself as the sun began to set.   I remembered I hadn’t put on any make-up this morning, noticing after moving the bark that I looked like a blackface actor from the 20s.  Yuk.  I felt horribly guilty and much preferred last week-end when I had a lovely dirt tan, looking healthy rather than racist.  

The only solution was a shower.  I washed away and ended up not finding anything comfy to wear so decided to go au natural…only I MUST remember to shut the front door as I’d rather not  share all THIS <pointing to self> with my neighbors or ransom passers-by.  I spent the evening eating leftover pizza, delicious (life-changing) salad and spending time with David Tennant.  It was wonderful having my hiking-self awoken and I am looking forward to many lessons from Mr. Hammonds.  

Pictures:  The Mostly Finished yard and Mabi, watching in fear as David Tennant/Doctor Who fights Robot Mercenaries in Season 3

August 29, 2014

I failed with yoga this morning as well, my excuse being “It’s Friday…I need to practice “sleeping in” for the 3-day weekend."   I’m just too tired lately. Little energy, less motivation.    Work included the first "Mrs. Robinson" moment for me, and  naturally I handled it wrong.  I was walking around campus today , heading into the main office building with 4 guys walking behind me….I heard one mumbling, then another said, “Dude!  That’s gross, she’s probably like 40!!”  What I should’ve done
 (and would have had I known them) is just keep walking and say “I’m 42!!”, hands in the air in celebratory fashion without missing a beat.  I need to start buying stockings, I think (I’ve never seen The Graduate, so I’m not quite sure).  On the flip side, the whole “cougar” idea really grosses me out and I’d have trouble dating anyone younger than me…with maybe 3-4 years being the max I could handle without reporting myself as a pedophile.  This was a very difficult aspect for me when it came to the Giants, but sadly, I have had to give all of them up as they could practically be my children.

I had a long (4-7 minute) discussion with Sabol today (who also suggested my response to the situation above be: “Compliment!!” pointing tp whatever guy mumbled/ “Wrong!!” to whatever guy said the ‘Dude, gross’ statement) where we discussed weekend plans.  In her “mental backpack”, she had the Tahoe Ropes course idea, whereas I have plans of landscaping with “beauty bark” (THAT’S what they call bark in Washington!!!  Sabol…I couldn’t keep it for tomorrow..it happened today and I didn’t want to forget.

After class, I headed out home, rather than stay on campus for an hour before picking Ethan up from his field trip.  Completed a few chores, then off to Home Depot to buy a concrete drill bit so I can get back to  my “mobile” work.  I sat in the parking lot of Ethan’s school, choosing to spend the time wisely by unsubscribing to all these sites that send me emails on a daily basis.  It is apparent to me that I am approaching another “pitching” mood, where I want to minimize what I have.  One case in point would with be all the damn clothes that fit me 3 years ago which are now far too snug.  I saw someone who competes in body building, suggesting we should get together for coffee and a talk…she says I know what to do, it’s just applying it.  I told her Mexican food was my downfall, but if I’m honest, sugar is in there, too.  It’s that mental obsession, which I am all too familiar with.  Also, I’m not very motivated.  I try to eat fairly healthy food…I make a lot of my own stuff, but I splurge far too often.  Any day can be a celebration day if nachos or sushi is involved.  At one point, I know I’ll meet a boy (Man!! Man!!!  39 or older!!!) who will make my heart go pitter-patter , causing me to lose my appetite because I’m swooning all over the place.  

I picked up Ethan who had a fun time on his field trip (as I knew he would).  This Kid has, up to this point, been quite blasé  about field trips, yet has always enjoyed them immensely.  I dropped him off at a friend’s house, where he is camping for the weekend and will be river-rafting, inner-tubing, etc.  Did I mention I will be laying down “beauty bark” and decomposed granite?  Possibly doing laundry, too.  I have big plans… <tears are falling>

Since Kristo is back from his AT thru-hike, he has offered to help me this weekend in transporting all this great landscaping material.  My 1^st round of kefir water will be finished tomorrow night, so I went to Cost Plus to purchase some glass bottles for the aforementioned kefir water.  I also browsed their edibles section, which reminds me of Europe and childhood….  My point in this rambling is:  I saw Ritter Sport chocolates (which I subsequently purchased because it’s praliné schokolade), which made me think of a Very Recent Convo I had with Richard from AISZ(we both want to move back to Switzerland), who stated it was about focusing and getting serious with making things happen.  So, instead of NOT applying to Sac County bc I do not speak one of the 13 “special skills” languages required, I shall apply ANYWAY and get busy in trying to finish this degree, etc.  For anyone who cares, European schokolade is awesome and can change your life.  And now, I’m going to bed with the Doctor.

Pictures:  "Cucumber or Pickle?"  It's all about choices (This was in the EDCA parking lot where I played tennis with the dogs).  McDonald's drive-thru - the problem with our country, and a street lamp in El Dorado (you can hear Doctor Who music in the background if you focus very, very hard).

August 28, 2014

 No yoga this morning.  I slept another 30 

minutes, instead.  Listened to country this morning, dancing in my kitchen and my heart aching.  Granted, it's country music, so aching hearts happen anyway, but it sure gets tricky when you're not where you wanna be and then memories of the greatest time of your life come rushing back(in reality, it was just after the shittiest time in my life, so I was already floating on a pink cloud).  I remember sitting with a girlfriend in my VW rabbit convertible at night, under the stars, both of us singing Tim McGraw (I'd seen him in concert at Billy Bob's in Ft. Worth as he was on his way to stardom).   Happy times.

At school, the "individual" of smart phone fame (who was exceptional yesterday) was doing well today, but, alas, it was too difficult.  20 minutes before class ended she had that bad boy out and was once again scouring it for whatever it is she scours for (??? Is this even a word?).
<apparently it is, but it is NOT the root word if scouring, rather, it means "diarrhea in livestock". Who knew?!>  Group went well:  focus was mindfulness, which is always something I can incorporate.  Later, I worked with a student, establishing a relationship with him and supporting him. I understand the teacher wants this and this and this, but unless this kid feels safe, nothing will happen..he’ll shut down and sit, which is his defense mechanism, thus I feel I have to work with…smile, look him in the eyes, help him find confidence, build upon his strengths.  Another kid is on the opposite spectrum of this and if he were an animal, he’d be a peacock.  This kid struts and is BRIMMING with self-confidence.    He’s a trip…we already have our special handshake.  <smile>  We have a great group of kids this year.  It’s almost Breakfast Club-ish, minus (sadly) Judd Nelson.

As I arrived home, I saw my  kefir grains had arrived (not grains at all, rather a combo of yeasts and bacteria much like kombucha), so I cleaned out my glass jar to start in kefir water.  I needed organic sugar, though, so I headed to the co-op (holy shit, that's expensive!!)  to pay a huge amount for an itty-bitty bag of sugar & a sprout of mint. I was then mysteriously drawn to the new Mexican Restuarant I'd notice on my way home (I feel compelled to support small businesses especially if melted cheese and jalapeños are involved).  The RAD thing is I learned more Spanish.  The unrad thing is there wasn't enough melted cheese, but I ate it anyway.  Cool dude there was singing and offered me Spanish 101.  ¡Si!
 
At home I had boiled water, so now I added sugar and waited for it to cool.  For some reason beyond my control, I started a mobile with sticks, shells and starfish to hang out in the xeriscaped front yard.  Unfortunately, I broke the drill bit drilling a hole in a shell, so I’ll have to get another before I can finish it.   I look at myself and I can understand why people call he a hippie, but i'm really not.  I just...like making things sometimes…like yogurt, kefir water, homemade granola.  Now as soon as I start to macramé, THEN you guys can call me a hippie, but until then, I’m someone who would rather not spend a ton of money on poorly made stuff or food that contains who knows what(unless it’s Mexican food…then who gives a fuck).  I wonder what I would be like if I had been born in one place and had developed root there, rather than back and forth between cultures and countries.  I feel split into many pieces with a constant “grass is greener” attitude which I’m aware of.  Would I still be this smorgasbord of metal/country/classical/hippieness?

I took a quiz today.  Apparently my vermillion and 19% of women have breasts like I do:  “particularly rounded at the base and gorgeously full”  Ok, I call that sagging with a little too many sweets which has added some substance resulting in muffin-top, but hey, whatever…..  This quiz is supposed to help me get The perfect bra online….Are you kidding me?  I have enough difficulty getting them to fit when I physically try them on – how in HELL is asking a few question about the bra strap or the cups going to get me the perfect bra?  Seriously…this world is beginning to freak me the fuck out.