November 29, 2014

The other night, Ethan smiled warmly at me, with his mouth and his eyes, and told me of things that make him feel good:  the sun shining on him, taking off his socks in bed.    Yesterday, as we worked on the doghouse together, I held the lumber together as he pushed the drill:  “It's almost there, Ethan, it’s close!  Push, push!”  which seemed eerily like I was coaching him through a birthing process  and yet...this morning he is frustrated, angry and in shutdown mode, because he assumes that I have said “ no” to his air soft gun desire for Christmas....which I hadn't, until I saw the $305 price tag.  This boy – from one extreme to the next within seconds.

It was a beautiful, simply perfect day for…hiking (rainy and gloomy) or decorating for Christmas – which is really early for us, as it isn’t even December yet…but instead, most of the morning was spent doing nothing…well, for them.  I was accomplishing 10% of 10 things, rather than 100% of one, but still…at least there was effort.  Eventually I managed to scrape together some breakfast-food and we ate, then got dressed to walk to the park with the pups.  Ethan was on my bike.  I think a new/used mountain bike would be much better for him than an air soft gun – the boy is not “Jet Desertfox Castillo” , the professional airsofter, but he can ride his bike and I’ll ride mine <my latest mantra, “I’m really enjoying my new, healthy lifestyle!”>  The park was fun…the dogs played and the weather held out until we saw a group approach, so we leashed up the dogs and left, just as it started to sprinkle.  We put the dogs in the back and decided to walk down to Placerville, which was terrific as the kids got a Martinelli’s apple juice, which granted me 11 minutes in The Bookery.  I walked out with 4 Ernest Hemingway novels - 2 of which I already have, somewhere, but who cares.

I have got to cut down on a few things in my life:  certain foods which are present this time of year and books.  I recently decided to sell a box of books to The Bookery – books I will never read as they are not my type…but it was difficult because since they are books, I love them and am quite attached.  Once we were home, we piled in the car and I tool my kids to our once a week local restaurant – this time French food at Allez.  Because of circumstances, we moved tables twice and ended up outside, alone in the brisk air (by choice, rather than crowding at a bar with others).  After a delicious meal, this move granted us free desert, which was a win-win.  Then, Home Depot for Christmas lights.  There was no Christmas shopping by us yesterday  other than Home Depot for the doghouse…which was fine by us.

Home resulted in a “go through your clothes and toys to find things for our Thrift Shop at school for needy students."  I also went through my things and got rid of clothing which has been too tight for a couple years <"I’m excited about my new, healthy lifestyle!!”>  Then we sat down and started playing Mario Brothers on the Wii. We haven’t played video games together in years and it was a lot of fun.  Tomorrow Ethan will put up lights while I take Mags to a birthday in Citrus Heights and get some errands done <vacuum out car, oil change, homework>  

Other things in my life, very important things which have been a part of my life for my entire life, are drawing to a close…but Life changes and so must I.  I am finding that holding on just makes it more painful – honor it for what the place it has held and move on….

Pictures:  The results of our walks today:  Leaves on the grass as we walked to Placerville; Thistles as the park; A partial rainbow walking into town; Rains drops on bamboo; the fire station bell tower.