February 8, 2015

This morning was my last morning.  I have a lot of last mornings, I’ve noticed in these writings ~ sleep is so important to me.  It’s my other world.    I got back to writing last night’s 5-a-Day …but don’t want to get caught in a pattern.  No time in the mornings, especially not tomorrow.  Noticed Mags had already been up, baked cinnamon rolls, and had eaten 2 of them.  I grabbed coffee and scurried back to my haven with the lights on so dimly, the rain outside pattering along.

I noticed eventually both of them in the darkened living room, playing Wii.  They play so well together, these two.  I hope, I pray that their friendship will remain close and if it doesn’t, I shall not disappear as my parents did, I shall work on helping them reunify, because losing a sibling is hurtful for an entire lifetime.  I had plans, I had dreams today – go back to Home Depot and get the right sized blind, but no..it couldn’t happen.  I wanted to stay with my kids and indulge myself in their togetherness.

At one point, one of the neighbors we had delivered prier fours to dropped by delivering  his homemade kefir soda made from elderberries he’d harvested in the sierras last summer.  OHIWANTTODOTHATSOBADLY!~  The kefir was delicious and was gone in an instant.  Last year he brought us kombucha, which got me making it again, but I can never make it past round 2.  I started cooking lunch when I noticed the trap had a catch for us <sad face>.  Another wood rat (which isn’t actually a rat) and because I had the boy, who seems to have crossed very much into manhood lately, I got him to empty it.  His inner  child came back, however, and he kept chasing me holding the rat up.  He said he’s never heard me scream so loudly.  I explained:  “It is simple to do this stuff when you have to do it, because you are the only capable of doing so, but when it becomes possible for another to do it, you are no longer as strong as you once were, you don’t have to be.  I screamed a few more times, because it was gross.  And that was that.  He swore he flung it over the fence for animals, but it took me a good 2 hours to trust him again.  Later that night, in trying to set another trap in case there is a second one, I noticed it looked like a Charles Manson visitation area – blood splattered everywhere.  Too Helter Skelter for me and I couldn’t set the trap.  I’ll have to buy bleach and go hazmat on the area.  This house.  Holes everywhere and water leaking into the backroom.  Gotta.Get.Away,

As we ate, we watched…you guessed it - Nature.  This one was on the animal “love” and their mating habits.  I want a male bird of paradise.  He cleans house, he does dances, he’s got some badass moves.    We spent some time after that just hanging out and doing Stuff.  I looked for the kid’s passports – I have no idea where they could be.  I promised the kids a real vacation this summer once I’m done with grad school.  I won’t have my practicum ours competed or therapy hours done, but that’s no big deal.  Classes will be over.  We want to go somewhere tropical yet cost effective(aka – no Fiji).  I’d like a beach and jungle adventure.  Maybe Costa Rica or Belize?  Any suggestions would be much appreciated.

Tomorrow, no more kids.  I think I’m really going to hurt this time because these weeks with Ethan have been magical for me.  I have really seen him grow and mature (in ways other than rats).  Maggie has been an an angel and so helpful.  I don’t think a parent could get much luckier than I am.

Video: The rain today; Picture: Annie watching it rain.