I awoke up with dread in my
heart...long before the alarm clock was due to ring and I couldn’t go back to
sleep. I decided to use the time wisely
and wrote a letter to the union area president. This situation has, once again,
left me feeling like the utmost of failures, yet another point in my life (it
seems to come around every three years or so) when I revert to feeling like
dirt. People such as the one I am dealing
with have a natural gift of coaxing out my Enemy Within, that pitiful little
girl who tells me I’m a loser and I can’t
do anything right. So many years in
education and so many bad situations with such broken people and I see the common
factor: me, yet I am fucking tired of
this and am putting a stop to it as best I can.
At school, I received something
very powerful – a note telling me the president of the union chapter would be
at the school in half an hour and to meet in a specific private office. I don’t give a damn what anyone says about unions – in a position like mine, these
people having my back and supporting me meant the world to me. I walked out of
that meeting ten feet higher.
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After school, I picked up the kids
and we headed home, yet suddenly…on the freeway…Lizzie…sta…rted…aga…in. Ohhellno…please!!! Don’t do this again! But something was too familiar and I exited
quickly to stop by Chevron (stalling under the one of the many red lights we
hit). 14 gallons later, (this time the
gas gauge is going from far past full to just about full, which seems to be the
new measurement) we headed home with a lot of power. This girl is killing me, though there is a
lot of joy in the death, I drove to my site early to fill out some paper work
and telephone calls/setting up additional intakes before my client arrived at
5.
The plan this Friday evening was
to go to our school musical. “Anything Goes.”
Ethan didn’t seem to be very thrilled at all, but Maggie was excited and
dressed up for the occasion. I was
astounded at the talent of these kids – suddenly they weren’t the students I
spend all week with, rather, they were skilled actors with enormous
talent. I am saddened that this is the
first play I have seen, but can guarantee that it shan’t be my last. Even Ethan was grinning broadly during one of
the scenes filled with double entendre. I
whistled loudly during specific scenes so Joe would know I was there (We had
established the whistle as our “code” earlier that day). I didn’t think he’d be
able to see my “solo-person-doing-the-wave” so I didn’t even bother with
that. After the play he ran out front to
greet me and I hugged him fiercely. What
a cool guy.
The kids and I grabbed a pizza
and drove home, singing along with The Beatles to watch The Office. There we are, all three of us, plus dogs,
sitting on one half of the sofa as it is a love seat. It has been a very emotional day from one
extreme to the other and I am exhausted.
So grateful it is Friday and I am down to 17 days: 102 hours.
Pictures: Union Mine's "Anything Goes" performance. What an incredible show!; The Note; Seventeen days.
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