I slept deeply: cool
air and the fan going all night long meant strong sleep. As always, the alarm went off too early, but these
butterflies who have established residence in my belly appreciate being awake: more flutter-time. Kids were up and before we left for the day,
I sent tenant laws: a text to my landlord, the same words in an email to the real
estate agents. That helped the butterflies
a lot as I needed to present my
rights. On the way to school, the song “Time of our Lives" by Green Day came on, and when I
heard the refrain, I burst into tears. “It’s
something unpredictable, but in the ends is right, I hope you had the time of
your life…” Right now is so very unpredictable for me…so much
happening, but I know it will be all right – it ends up so perfectly, each and
every time. Another friend contacted me and offered to help me move...which just moves me to tears. I am so grateful to the many people I have have around me, holding space for me and giving me support. I am humbled. Dropped kids off at school
and headed to therapy session with someone I know here in town who has agreed
to help me burn off a few hours. 
Home where I packed (probably – it is all fading together)
then off to pick up Mags at school early (they had a half-day) and she & Tatjana gave me some news - I had been selected to chaperon the SF school trip, which both kids were dying for me to do. "You're such a fun mom" Maggie said.... Wow.
As I was leaving school I received a phone call from the husband
of the real estate team. He, 1. Agreed there should be 24 hours’ notice
given (I let him know his wife had stated 4),2. Agreed that my privacy was important
and I shouldn’t feel intruded upon any more so than necessary, 3. State the landlord
had contacted him and said “I guess we need to give 24 hours’ notice”, 4. Said
he didn’t care one bit of the house was messy because of moving items/boxes,
etc. 5. Said I would be setting the appointments with perspective buyers. 6., said the lock-box was controlled through
them and it would send an electronic message letting him know who was in the house
and for how long, Well good. I have a little
more of my power back. I empathize so greatly with a client whose entire world has crumbled; everything known is now gone. I'm a grown woman and have struggled mightily over
"what ifs" - this person has no such luxury. Perspective check for me.
I headed to Roseville and stopped in Target to buy yoga
pants that were not see-thru, but all they had was extra-large. I didn’t have much choice and headed to
school my second therapy session of the day where I changed into them. They were almost falling off of me. It was a terrific therapy session – a lot of
analysis over loss, over fear. I shared the darkest part of
my story, which I have no trouble doing, about rapes, my days in a gentlemen’s
club (can I ask WHY they call those
places gentlemen’s clubs? A true
gentlemen would never set foot in there), recovery, being homeless when I was
23 and how those emotions were triggered in the last week. Our fears have no frontal lobe, no way of discerning.
It was a good session. I will see her
again one more time next week and the other therapist twice, I think. I just have 4 more hours.
I headed to school for the last time. I was so glad to see Wendy and we sat down, giggling, as
I showed her the video – only it didn’t play.
Weber came over as I had just gotten it ready again and it was so great
to see him. I think he is happy for me…. These people have no idea how I will miss
them. Once I got everything set I went
to class and prepared. I explained the
reason for the cookies from Switzerland (Milk biscuits with chocolate) and I
played the PowerPoint – only the Rammstein video with the dancers didn’t play.
No big deal...I moved right along and presented my Capstone and it went well,
I think. I kept forgetting to move the slides
ahead, too. I hope it was
ok – that it was what it should have been.
After, I went to the car to get the Schleich alligator I bought for Weber. We talked a bit and he said he was gonna miss
me, that I was the funnest and I hugged him.
These people are good people. So
many endings…I really, really hate that.Pics 'n Videos: Now what? No more school assignments or schedules....; Maggie holding my hand as I cried to Green Day's "Time of Your Life" (she snuck a picture); Therapy session 1 of 2; Goodnight Brandman University, part of the Chapman system...ya done me good; Green Day "Time of Your Life: official video; Rammstein's "Du Hast" and the Schwaben dancers - this was my lost video....
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