February 20, 2016

I was in in bed at 9:15.  I was asleep by 9:30, it was that bad.  The neat thing is I slept so luxuriously and slept until about 7:40.  I wish I could get this much sleep every night.

Woke up in a mood though – those kind that you feel approaching, sit in your bones and seem to stay.  I didn’t do much to alleviate it.  I can’t appear to get unstuck from this mood and it seems to have gotten a little worse since I decided not to go to Europe this year.  As the day went on it continued to get worse and I simply let it slide.  I wondered…is it because I stopped my SSRIs?  But no – I won’t just jump back on that easily.  I know myself and I know my warning signals and sometimes you hit these points in life.  It isn’t always a merry-go-round and when your life dream is cancelled or put on hold (to me it’s essentially cancelled).  It’ll be okay, just need to find something to give me a little life-woosh.  

The day continued...Ethan was with his dad at our old house looking through tools.  After a quick run by the gym, I picked up Mags from a friend’s house.  Mags and I spun some records while we cleaned a bit and then headed to get the dogs annual vaccinations and then headed home again,  It wasn’t long til L showed up with Ethan who became really upset for some reason when I told him we would not be staying in this house when our year lease was up. 

The big (to me) plan was to return to Union Mine and attend the food truck gathering to help fund the UM band.  It seems, as L was saying earlier, that food is the one thing which motivates me.  This is a sad and true fact, but we were headed off to UM, nonetheless.  Music rules, after all. By the time we were there, Ethan was in a better mood again.  I guess he had figured out his solution.  I didn’t see anyone I knew, other than student I had frequently talked with.  “Keep your head low and avert your eyes – no eye contact with anyone!” was my motto.  

  

Hot chocolates and board games were on the schedule, so we had to stop by the store to get hot chocolate stuff and cream.  My sister Facetimed while we were there.  Today was here 39^th birthday and she was saddened – she'd had a shitty day at work in the field (she was researching bats who are dying off in record numbers due to white nose syndrome) as well as a horrible birthday.  I empathized with her – mine sucked, too-  and said we needed to go somewhere for a long weekend and celebrate our birthdays together.  At home, Mags and I made hot chocolate while Ethan went into the garage to start clearing his area for a work bench.  He wanted to build it the next weekend here, but we’ll be in Yosemite.  Mags and I set up Memoir ’44, a WWII strategy game, but it’s so dark in here and my war nomenclature is minimal, so we threw on some Office and chilled.  

Pictures: Last week, our street sign was changed to "Pinion" - glad to see the original is back; Pics from Union Mine