Febraury 23, 2015

This waking up at all hours of the nights is for the birds and this is about night 5.  I am going to be a very cranky 70 year old if things don’t change by then.  My vices in my life the last few years have been food and sleep.  I know have a parasitic food baby growing on my belly, so that’s out.  NOW MY SLEEP IS GOING????   What the hell else do I have to vice with?!?

I wore my rad new Giants orange Converse to work along with my <sad face> size 12 jeans.  During third, I decided to enjoy some light jogging around the track…but I couldn’t, because my pants would fall…<thank good for my long tshirt/cardigan>.  Now, some of you may be saying “Oh!  That’s great!  The pants are too big!!”  They are a little loose in parts, but too snug in others, so 10s wouldn’t work.  I really want to curse right now, but am trying to replace it “dadgummit” and “dagnabbit.”  Fuck.  By the end of the day, my feet hurt so badly I almost went barefooted, though I'm not sure that would have been appreciated.

Picked up that boy and we headed home to the casa.  I prepped a beer pork roast.  I bought 2 Guiness beers over a year ago  for roasts – I finally, after all this time, used the second one. I also made brown rice.  The horrifically bad thing  is that I eat decently.  I don’t do fast food…, I enjoy a good kale salad every now again (but only in private, due to my receding gum lines).  Granted, cranberry season kicks my ass…but really??  THIS 20 pound rice sack due to a few desserts I enjoyed by myself?  I don’t get it.  Oops…talking about me again.  So I got the boy situated after prepping food and we started reading about multiple alleles and karyotypes and no wonder this kid has a difficult time!  I was having a hard time staying awake,  myself.  For the next chapter,  I tried a different method – I handed him my iphone, setting it up so he could dictate his words and he read the chapter notes.  IT WAS AN AMAZING TRANSFORMATION!  He was alert and engaged.  He was thinking critically, asking different questions – I was thrilled.  Not only was he visually seeing the material, but verbal and audible components made it the learning that much more active.  Plus, he avoided the hurdle of “long, boring homework” in taking the “easy” way out.  Hell, yes!

After homework, I discovered a little event taking place in April – quite excited since I won’t be hitting Hipnic this year.  I’m very grateful to Joe, one of da family, who grabbed tickets for me.  Yay!!  Then I managed a bit of yoga, though I was depressed because of this mass I noticed during Uttanasana.  It isn’t gonna get any better unless I jump right back into this.  I have to , I have to, I have to.  I had told myself if I did yoga I could have a teeny-tiny treat, but once I finished, I realized that really, I cannot have a teeny-tiny treat, because I’ll end up eating 7 of them, so I had water instead.  <sigh>  

So now – Monday is over – I have a new Fender amp, courtesy of Sam (this means I really need to start learning how to play), I have a music date in late April, I had a terrific weekend with my daughter, and I found a new way to engage Ethan in (parts) of schoolwork.  Life is good.

Pictures:  The new Fender amp!!!!  I'll have to start chords again...G, A, B???; It was a windy West Texas day here in CA; The tree was covered in fairytale white blossoms - so beautiful.

February 22, 2015

This might be a little sticky for some gentlemen, but I am convinced I am on my way to menopause:  no period in 6 weeks, and when I do get them, they are so light and last for 24-48 hours.  I gained weight amazingly in 3 months, and last night I read about difficulty sleeping.  This verified itself as I have been waking up around 3 and am up for a couple of hours as of late.  Once I was able to fall back asleep early this morning as the light was coming in the window, I dreamt I was in Switzerland (Around 15 years of age in my dream) and I was doing everything I could do to get home to Texas.  Oh, it’s so opposite in my real life.

Maggie was up at the same time as I and eager to make a breakfast in bed for Ethan.  I knew how late he’d been up, so I told her we didn’t have to rush, that he’d sleep late.  About half an hour later, we started on the bacon – just as Ethan walked out of his room.  Maggie is often in the kitchen (she plans on being a chef) so he paid her no mind and she cooked up his omelet.  I was able to help explain a few things as to prepping before you crack the eggs in the pan, but she made a much finer omelet than I can make.  Ethan glanced over as she put hot sauce all over the omelet, but then went back to his BMX video on the Mac.  I wish I had captured the look on his face as he looked upwards as she handed him the breakfast with a glass of milk.  He was very surprised and it was lovely to see.

However…the task of science lay ahead and Ethan’s response time was horrific.  He finally began as I started in the kitchen, pulling out the cabinet, stove and refrigerator to clean up after those furry guests.   I found a hole in the corner, which I stuffed with a steel scouring pad, but something didn’t feel quite right.  I continued cleaning.  Reminding Ethan..Cleaning..reminding Ethan.  Maggie, meanwhile, had created a list of chores to do – sweep the front porch, water the pants, rake the leaves, sweep the kitchen, etc.  And there was Ethan, doing various gymnastics on the chair as he created his science project and doing the bare minimum.  I sat down to help him with something and his attitude was so shitty that I was done.  I snapped my laptop closed and walked away, telling him that I wasn’t willing to spend my time trying to help someone who wasn’t helping himself.  

Maggie was now skateboarding down a little hill near our house.  I was so proud of her as I watched her form.  What a talented daughter I have…she gets the board yesterday and is already out on hills.  Very proud.  I walked back in the house and remembered steel wool (I used it long ago with refinishing something), leaving for  Home Depot to pick some up.  When I got back, Ethan was in his room, sitting on his bed with tears in his eyes.  The project had been finished.  I got back to cleaning and stuffing holes with steel wool.  What a mess.  There were three large holes which led right outside.  I’m surprised I haven’t had more visitors.  Last year I got concrete patch and sealed up a few holes I had noticed before, but these were in different areas.  What a nightmare.  I may send a note to the landlord with the check.  

Dinner was pork chops so tender they fell apart – so it was essentially chunks of pork, and parsley potatoes, which both kids liked (very, very rare situation).  After dinner, I asked Ethan to help me clean the bathroom and to clean the dishes, which he did without hesitation after an immediate “ok” response to my request.

After everything was clean, the kids and I sat down to watch “The Goonies.”  Ethan had already seen it, but it was nice finally watching this movie.  It isn’t always easy in this house.  There have been a lot of issues, as with any family, but I am grateful that we have a strong bond and that, unlike my growing-up years, we  come together afterward to talk about what happened.  I hope we don’t lose that ability.

Pictures: Maggie skating down the hill;  My treasured Swiss pencils....

February 21, 2015

I kept waking up this morning and was so sad about going to work…until I realized it was Saturday and I didn't have to go to work.  Still, trouble getting back to sleep.  Big Uggghh.  It was a lazyish up-time, especially when Maggie was invited to go out to breakfast with friends. It wasn’t too long til she was home, though and we left around 11:30 for our shopping extravaganza (I dreaded the mere thought as I hate clothes shopping, but I was looking forward to spending time with Maggie).  

We got to TJ Maxx and I sent Maggie off in one direction and I went off in mine…like a lost child.  She was back pretty quickly as there wasn’t much in her size – as for me?  I struggled to find things.  I found an interesting neutral cardigan, a black tshirt and a gray tshirt, but jeans?  Pants?  Nothing that I liked.  I DID get a pair of nice black shoes that have a small heel which isn’t separated from the front –  I’m not sure what those are called.  THEN! A pair of nice orange Converse in honor of the Giants – this makes 6 pairs.  The shoes were the most expensive parts, and I felt neck tension as we got in the car.  I hate spending money like this.  We headed to Maggie’s next place – Styles for Less, which is a place I shopped as a teen, and I couldn’t help myself – it was set up so nicely that I started collected different tops and soon had a nice little collection.  I used all sorts of gift cards  and was thrilled that my total was $16.00  Suddenly, I was enjoying shopping.  I still needed jeans, though – so Maggie and I headed down the hill to Old Navy…and here I could have cried.  Even the size 12 were not a good fit and I hated the material(my own sensorial issues).  This is what my stupid skinny jeans are and why I didn’t look carefully and get regular type jeans, I’ll never know.  

Target is the place where I bought the last jeans that fit really well – though it has been hard finding the size (10), and now I was in a 12, <teardrop> but we went and I begrudgingly had various size 12 pants to try.  I had a question for the lady by the changing rooms – “What is the Rrrrrrr?  The Ssssss?  The Lllllll” sounding them all out as if I were at a Montessori sound table.  It was rather amusing. Maggie was in the changing room with me and for the first time all day, I couldn’t balance in trying on my pants.  I was also saddened by my “fluffiness”; I’ve been walking, becoming more active, monitoring my eating, and down a few pounds, but still, I’m too fluffy.  

We had an hour and 45 minutes until we needed to pick up Ethan and we were both hungry – so in honor of our friends at Dunder-Mifflin, we headed to Chilli’s and after a delightful lunch-dinner, we walked back to Target to get some towels and something for Ethan.  I think I may almost be an adult.  I have clothes now which I can mix and match in a variety of ways, and I bought additional bath towels.  This growing up thing is kinda fun!

We picked Ethan up at his friend’s house – he’d had a blast at a paintball adventure and was telling me all sorts of stories.  When we got home, I was the recipient of another part of being a grown-up:  the ER bill:  originally over $25,000 ($10,000 for the CT scan alone, which averaged to $222 a minute), after insurance it is $5,200.  Better yes, but still!!!!  I will call the hospital billing department.  Ohhhh, mannnnn.   I also got my first cell phone bill - $173, which is about $50 higher than I was told, so I’m going back to AT&T to talk about that bill, too.  The dogs were very happy and after the shock of the bills, I got right to cleaning out the closet, my dresser, my shoes and doing laundry.  Boy is watching Good Mythical Morning, Girl is waiting so we can watch The Office, so I gotta get. 

Pictures:  My awesome daughter with her new board and my Steal Your Face Grateful Dead hoodie.; A blanket of fog as we drove down the hill; Inside Chilli's, where she forged my signature (with my permission and license so she could see how to sign my name) to pay the bill; 

February 20, 2015

This morning was okay – it was Friday, tomorrow I could sleep in…I can do this!  And then I saw it:  a tomato eaten by a furry intruder.

 Dadgummit, that shot everything to hell!  The day seemed to not be as terrific anymore:  the peanut butter tasted horrible, because I knew it wasn’t really for me, it was for them.  The kids thought it was kinda funny.  They have no idea.  Ethan is spending the night with a friend, so what will I do??? We were heading out the door when I went back to the kitchen for something and there he was – scurrying across the floor and I SCREAMED!  The kids looked up and laughed.  At me.  Their mother.  Hmphhhh….  I don't get it - I've had pet rats, snakes, lizards, frogs, I have a tarantula - but this wild thing freaks me out.  Kinda like grasshoppers <you don't know when/where they will hop>.

School was school….. During second block I remembered to text my sister and wish her a happy birthday.  She responded thank you and said she had a pot job for me in Europe.  A pot job?  I don’t smoke, I’m no dealer….  I was very confused, especially when she didn’t respond.  <I tend to forget she is potty training a 3 year old and has a month old infant child>.  “You don’t smoke?” she texted, and I could hear her laughing.  “Potential!”  Oooohhhh….  During third block,  I was running the stairs at the field and helping a student with stretches.  1). to get some exercises, 2) to show her how to do it.  It felt good to get some stretch, but damn…I need to crank it up a notch.  I spoke with the girl’s coach after and she said a rowing machine would be good – don’t need to extend my knee and it works everything.  Hmmm….

Had to pick up the girl right away, since the boy is going to a friend’s birthday and we headed to get things for the weekend and then I needed to get home.  I wanted to shower and out of those ridiculous skinny jeans.  Why the hell do I even own those??  The plan was steel wool, peppermint oil, etc and we got most of everything but the peppermint oil.  I quickly showered at home and we went to the health food store to get the oil.  Success!  So many people swear by this. We also put on the size three diaper on Annie – and it worked!!!! Mabi wouldn’t stand for it, but Annie is like Maggie – very complaint.  I’m noticing distinct similarities between dogs and children.  How weird to have one of each in both sets.

 Down the hill to Macaroni Grill, which Maggie was dying for.  As we pulled in, Olivia FaceTime’d us and we sang Happy Birthday.  Got to see Ingrid and little Abney.  We miss that little girl…  Me: “Hi, little mama!”  Her: “No… I Ingid!”  We’re calling back tomorrow with a better connection. I was never a huge fan of Macaroni Grill and after tonight, neither was Maggie.  WHY  did I eat so much bread?  Bread for they pass out with oil and balsamic, bread with my appetizer (melted mozzarella) and then pizza.  Why the hell didn’t I order salad and chicken marsala??  It would have been much better.  Mags’s food wasn’t as good as she remembered, either.   The important thing was we had a beautiful time.  We sat and talked…noticed a table – mom, big brother (about 11) and two little girls about 8 years old in beautiful dresses and their dolls, who also had their own seats.  I kept looking at the brother and smiling.  As they left, I asked smiled and asked him if he was having a good time.  “No!”  he laughed.  “You’re a terrific big brother!” I responded.

 

Michael’s was the reason we were down in Folsom, so we grabbed clay for the science project, molds and looked for petit four stuff.  This store.  It is too much for someone like me who wants to do every cool thing in here, but I have no talent.  Off to Sports Authority to look at rowing machines!  Nothing.  I felt a sparkle of energy as we walked through the baseball section and I was rather intimidated in the clothing section with those well-endowed male mannequins.  I should just hang out there  <grin>  I was excited to get home and set out the peppermint oil cotton balls, but…noticed the trap we’d set this morning was…filled.  I hate that.  I also hate that Ethan isn’t here.  Fortunately, Maggie is the other man of the house, so she carried it out and then I released it from the trap.  Nature – the cycle of life.  She made strawberry pie per my instructions (I was over my 12 hour time constraint tonight, plus the 4 tons of bread was too much) and we watched some Office episodes.  Just as Maggie has fallen asleep <she's sleeping in my room tonight>, I hear the trap snap again…right next to the cotton ball.  Dadgummit.  I hate this shit.  <I had to be my own man of the house>

Pictures:  Annie in infant diapers; The spring blossoms at Union Mine High School; Tonight's  beautiful sunset