November 27, @014

Morning was lovely:  an elongated extension of yesterday as both kids were with me and it is so  precious.  Maggie is in a kissing phase with me – one I recall having with my mother.  I think it is a subconscious attempt to hold onto childhood prior to embarking into the independent teen years, though I could be wrong. 

Yesterday was filled with so many precious memories:   whispering in Moe's as if it were a library.    Libraries aren’t whispered in anymore – they are now another meeting place for children’s groups and studying teens.  All of this is absolutely fine, of course, but…why can’t they whisper?  Fortunately – my kids know:  if there are books, we  whisper.  As we were waiting in front of Defina’s Pizzeria, waiting to be seated, we noticed delivery men with their bikes.  Ethan was entranced:  A job you can have and  you get to bike around San Francisco?  Perfect!  I told him there were many couriers around SF – not just delivering food, but documents, et cetera.  He now has a dream.  Later – at the venue, Maggie was watching the bands and was absolutely thrilled to be seeing them again (this is her third time – once in Mill Valley at the Sweetwater, once at Coda Café in Chico, and now here).   "Thank you so much, Mommy...I love this!"; Brad bringing us backstage was fantastic – and her sitting at the steps watching them.  “Mommy!  Ben saw me and smiled, Alex saw me, Phil and Ryan- they all saw me and smiled!"    I love sharing halves of me with my kids:  my extroverted life with Mags and my introverted life with Ethan.  They each have a half of my heart.

L came by late in the morning to pick up Mags.  He helped out with a few things and then they left, so Ethan and I started cooking: I pulled out the old copy of a recipe I made years ago with my dad and we got busy.  I played a bit if Der Vogelhandler - an Austrian operetta my dad played all the time. Granted, it wasn't fun hearing it at 8 in the morning on our super -load speakers when I was hungover from the night before, but I later learned to love it.  It was also an ideal morning for Steve Miller band.  I have "Swingtime" on the brina....   Cooking commenced as I channeled my father...different from my parents, though - I very much enjoy cooking with Ethan and love baking with Maggie.  After about an hour and a half – we had the chicken in the oven and simmering red cabbage, so we got the dogs and walked downtown.  It wasn’t a nice Thanksgiving day – it was 70 degrees.  Way too warm!  I could have worn shorts and a tank top.  When my sister and I were young, we would get dressed in our “pilgrim” clothing (a long dress and warm coats) and we would walk together to the end of the street (it was a “country” block – so it was a very long street).  On our walk today, I got a horrific craving for mashed potatoes with our meal (which I hadn’t made), so as soon as we got home I boiled some potatoes.  Then, we ate.  Oh.My.Gawd.  It was such a delicious meal.  Everything was perfect and Ethan and I enjoyed talking and discussing over dinner. 

Clean up wasn’t as I would have preferred, but as I had cooked throughout the day, I was also cleaning, so it was relatively easy, just not as much input.  Ethan had prepped a fire and we were also going to watch a movie.  I convinced the boy that watching the movie first would give us as much time as we wanted with the fire.  He agreed, but instead of the movie, we played some Super Mario Brothers first.  So much fun – it was like I was 17 years old again at boarding school.  I never did accomplish the skill Sheba had.  We then watched “We Were Soldiers.”  It was a good movie, but I think I have been ruined for all war movies by Band of Brothers.  

After the movie ended and we had some Vietnam Conflict discussion, , I put on my dad’s heavy lambskin jacket and we headed outside.  The air was cold and crisp; the stars shone brightly in the dark sky.  Fire licked at the wood, greedily burning away.  We had some good talks for quite some time…then  he began  explaining an interest he has.  I asked questions about it, as I tend to do and sensing negativity (which was actually realism), he began to shut down.  “Ethan,” I explained, “In your lifetime, the World is going to say ‘no’ 75-80% of the time, if not more.  Your job is to bring facts and aspects to the table so that a ‘no’ is less likely.  You can’t shut down when you don’t hear what you want to hear.”  I hope he heard that.  Inside, I made us some chai as we prepare to blanket another Thanksgiving Day. It has been a lovely couple of days with my children. <3

Pictures:  Tonight's fire, topped by a pine cone I collected last October on my way to the Desert Dust-Up in Joshua Tree; A beautiful tree on our walk; my dad's recipe for Thanksgiving; another tree shot.