November 5, 2014

This morning was amazing…there were sparkles in the air, music notes floating around me and for the first time in many months, I “WOOO-HOOOO’d!!!!” loudly on the drive to work.  It wasn’t even overcast and I was in this good a mood.  The therapy session yesterday had gently eased that heavy boulder of worry off of my shoulders.  I also knew that the days of a lighter work atmosphere (for me) were drawing to an end, as well, and Monday it’s back to normal.  

Sadly, disturbing news about an absolutely-not-a-favorite-student-because-we-don’t-have-those was compounded by even more disturbing news…apparently parents can throw their kids away if they decide they are too much trouble.  Holy shit.  

I flundered (new word!!) home,  ready to grapple with my paper (due tomorrow night).  I received quite the email from my instructor, discussing ineptitude, but I’d had a night of Ethan and honestly?  This class is really close to the least of my concerns.  You get my drift.  I arrived home and had the most pathetic canine faces staring at me.  Hell.  So, in proper owner-fashion, I put on their collars, but they were both whining with such excitement, I knew (in Pavlovian-fashion), that if we headed to the park right away it would simply reinforce that behavior, so I sat at the Mac and tried finding something exciting.  OHHOLYHELLDIDI!!!  A calendar, a CALENDER OF GORGEOUS  NAKED MEN.  This amazing view reminded me painfully that I need to get laid (sorry to be so blunt.  I won’t do it until I meet HIM, but this lifestyle does get lonely at times.  ESPECIALLY when the most incredible ass I have seen in years (literally- years) is peeking at me).  <Sigh>  That certainly put a spring in my step.  Off to the park we went.  Annie, in typical spaniel fashion, ran maniacally after the deer, while Mabi’s focus was getting that damn tennis ball I was about to lob into the air.  I ignored Annie, having faith she’d come back and sure enough, after she discovered her little 5 inch legs were no match, she was back, excitedly supporting Mabi in her goal of Ball Capture.

Back at the computer, I wrote a few letters – one to The Doctor and the other to my instructor, letting her know that this class (nor the other) would not be getting my full attention as I had extenuating circumstances, then I wrote my paper.  I’m getting quite a cramp in my neck as stress is returning somewhat, as the IEP hour approaches.  I have also been texted by L to let me know of Ethan’s doctor visit – a couple of days before Thanksgiving.  L is very supportive and he will help out with all the co-pays I’m paying (kinda hefty for a mama with my income level), but it is stressful to be doing this alone.  As lame as it sounds, the messages I’ve gotten from friends on FB have been very uplifting.

 Still, today was begun with a wonderful feeling and the announcement of the MH Christmas Shows at the Great American Music Hall in my SF.  Looking forward to that, as it will be the day AFTER I’m finished with these classes (then only one more in March!).  Slowly, slowly, the ball is rolling.  I’m trying to get contact info for European therapists so I can get THERE from HERE. 

Pictures:  A magical, mythical Red of Autumn greeted me at work today - I felt as if I were in a dream; Beauty in the park, though I miss the pussy willows which used to grow....