December 31, 2014

Maggie was spending the night next-door, and everything went accordingly until Ethan woke me up.  He was in a great deal of pain because of his ear. I spend the next couple hours comforting him,  looking online and trying to find some kind of solution for his ear ache.  I felt so helpless:  throats, stomachs and fevers I know – ears are something that I'm not very familiar with.  Fortunately I found Ingrid's medicine box (a time to be grateful that this poor little girl has such bad allergy problems), so I was able to give him some OTC antihistamines and a pain reliever.  Eventually the pain eased enough that he was able to fall asleep. This is an excellent segue into my “out of town but I still like to sleep naked” issue.  I wear a long skirt I've used  as a “strapless cover”, so I’m still naked while wearing clothing.  I swear I’m the MacGyver of the 2000s.  TMI?

I woke up knowing that it would be a busy day needing to get a lot of things accomplished as we were going to close today.  After a few showings of Frozen with Ingrid, Olivia and I warmed up the trucks to head out to the commissary in 19 degree weather. Yesterday was one of the worst days in traffic accidents in Midland/Odessa  with over 130 car accidents (3 of which I saw myself).  We needed to drop the truck off at the commissary, and so I drove the truck one last time, following  Olivia. Even in four-wheel-drive,  the truck (which is a heavy truck) was  still sliding all over the place.  I always have such adventures with my sister. Our speed was anywhere from 10 to 17 miles an hour… any faster was crazy.

We got to the office and started going through paperwork.  With a drill, we broke into a locked file cabinet  which of been locked since Deanna's death, around six years ago, but it only contained statements…no secret docs or bundles of cash.  It was amazing being in that office…I am taken back decades to when I was a little girl, with old chairs and tables which were outside when the patio was actually an “outside.”    Upstairs in the loft area,  I found old prints buried in dust, and an old wooden sign telling about the upstairs menu.   I was also very  lucky to have found my mother's old sewing box, which still contained the plastics stays for my dad’s button-up shirts,  and a  Mexican clay pot that we kept change in on top of our refrigerator.    I'm taking that home all these little memories to help capture as much as I can, so afraid to leave (and therefore lose) a memory behind.  Yesterday, though, a new thought emerged:  maybe this is truly a new beginning:  there will be nothing holding me to Texas unless I come to see my sister.   This is a good thing and a bad thing. For so long I wanted nothing to connect me, no reason to come here, now I seem to struggle as I cannot find my place, and thus I adventure, I wander…hoping to find my landing spot.

We got back home and I had just about finished unloading the fully loaded car (in very light clothing in  now 20 degree weather) when Olivia let me know that we had to go immediately to get additional documents signed.  “Let’s ride” I thought…but instead of a Harley, it was their new 2015 Toyota 4Runner. Still, you get my point.  There was a 30 minute window until 5 o'clock and once again instructions had been vague, if given at all.   Any other day, there would've been people in the office, but due to the ice over conditions,  both title companies were closed. So we missed it.  After so much struggle, we missed the closing.  The good thing is that despite tomorrow being a holiday, the buyer is a man who gets what he wants, so we’re closing the commissary tomorrow and will get the Midland store in, as well, since the attorney is handling both.  We went to the grocery store to pick up a few items for dinner then the pharmacy to get cold medication because. And then…we glided home.

New Year's eve dinner consisted of delicious baked potatoes and a huge ham given to us from the company we buy corn from to make the corn tortillas.  We busted out the Martinelli's to ring in the new year on the East Coast (We're kinda wild that way), then we finished The Lego Movie.  I only caught the last half hour or so, but after Frozen 2.5 times this morning, plus Dora on a loop, was enough for me.   Later, as the clock was at 11:59 (or, technically, 23:59 as I am on European time), I put down my 5 a Day, and went into the living area where Mags and Ethan are playing on the XBox and we did a group NYE hug, then layered up (not really) to venture out into the frigid still-21-degreetemperature to road-skate and watch fireworks.  This two are my favorite humans.  I have to say that after these few days of experiencing (despite previously hearing the tales from her) this sale with my sister, I am all the more impressed with her.  She is truly one of the coolest people I know.  My little sister is truly my super hero.

So now, despite attempts to post this in 2014, the minutes have slide into the Latest Year.  I'm excited to see what 2015 brings.  Hopefully my kids will stay happy and healthy.  That is my greatest wish.  MAYBE I'll let myself go and I shall meet someone, maybe not.  I wish all of YOU a wonderful and prosperous New Year.  Take care of One Another.  <3

Pictures:  My ice-coated windshield; The Aus-Mex Commissary; One pallet of Aus-Mex corn tortillas; A quiet downtown Midland,

December 30, 2014

I couldn't stay up (so worn out, I feel asleep immediately), I couldn't sleep (felt so horrible about closing LB that I woke up with horrid dreams and couldn't get back to sleep), I couldn't wake up...  Once I did wake up, I had to be game-ready, as Maggie was out cold and Ingrid was up.   I knew there would be requests to "We pay, Daw-eona?"  ("We play, Tanti ilona?")  Firm boundaries are the key here - teach those young 'uns about coffee and its importance.

It was the day of closing for Midland, officially.  It should have happened on the 22nd, but the title company sent notice at one o'clock on the day of closing that there was an issue about a strip of land which was not accounted for on various deeds.  So my sister needed to locate the necessary documents and a person in our family needed to sign them...overnight them to get them to Dallas by today.  I had to get my end signed, notarized  and to the title company, but first...here's Lupe - that beautiful woman who raised us, who stayed with us when we were sick, who made us tortillas, who counted  in Spanish for me at night.  I asked about her family;  the man with the tattoos of a topless woman....the girl with the beautiful long dark hair, the boys who were born and we got to play with when they were little. We used to go to their house when we were younger, as it was near La Bodega.  I wonder if this bothered them?    From a child's point of view, they were friends to us, but as an adult, I know how those lines are often blurred.  Off to the bank, where Pat, the manager, and I spoke for a good half hour after the notarizations were completed, then to the title company, where I spoke to the ladies about the weather and driving for ten minutes.  This is what I love about West Texas - strangers are a friend.  As I was walking yesterday, an older man who lived in a house, waved to me from the steering wheel as Texans do while he turned into his driveway.  This is what Texas is all about, and I have forgotten that part.  So, unfortunately have many Texans.  Old Texas is dying.  

I drove around, did a phone interview with the Odessa newspaper(while parked in a lot!  Safe driving!!) , tried several body shops for estimates, but nothing was available.  I decided to head to Odessa.  When I got there, Amibilia wasn’t there, but she arrived fairly soon and we got to cleaning a bit and sorting office items.  A message about a potential buyer came in, yet when he arrived to check it out, I heard the banjo from Deliverance playing softly in the back ground.  There was little congruity between his “proposition”, his affect and appearance and our desire to keep La Bodega as a wholesome family dining establishment.  Yikes.  <Da-dun-da-dun-da-dun-da-dun-da…>(“Dueling Banjos” from Deliverance).  It was time to get back to Midland as there were more papers which needed signing and my stomach needed La Bodega.  When I got to my car, I noticed the temperature had dropped 14 degrees in an hour and was now 28.  Not good.  I headed to one body shop, their “guy” was out til 4.  I headed to the next body shop - the estimate was $1,600.  Almost $700 for the light, itself.  Huh??? Oh, damn.  Headed to the “shortcut” – Hwy 191, but noticed police lights and the bridge was closed on 42^nd  Street, so I turned around as my car started to slide.  These roads ice up quickly.  The ice is so different from the ice I drove on  in 2 degree temperatures in California.  I headed to Hwy 80, and tried going over the JBS bridge – another accident and my car was struggling to make it up the icy incline on the bridge, so I flipped a U and exited the bridge as the ambulance arrived.  Headed sloooowllllyyy down the 80: no bridges, no speed, and both hands on the wheel.  It took me, total time with turn arounds, etc, almost 2 hours for a 30 minute drive.  

Into La Bodega on ice.  I hadn’t eaten in many hours and today, ruedas were on the mind.  It is hard now...many of the newer servers don’t know me.  Laura was in the back and someone must have told here (I was standing on the staircase landing, looking into the dining room), because she came out from cutting jalapenos and led me to a table, even though I was just planning on picking up dinner for everyone.  We talked, too…  This morning, when I asked Ethan if he wanted to join me, he said, “no…you’re just going to talk to your people” and he’s right.  I talked, and they are my people.  <smile>  She had my food out and fresh coffee made instantly.  She also tried to get information about a body shop from Margarita, the new owner.  I headed home..the road conditions were getting worse literally by the minute.  On Big Spring Street, another ambulance headed north (there was major accident at the loop about that time) and all on-ramps to loop 250 were closed by 5:30.  These roads have become ice skating rinks.




The evening at home was semi-calm.  The overnight docs to Dallas ended up in Kentucky, instead (of course they did), so it may not close tomorrow because of bad weather conditions (it's in the 20s now, teen temps tonight, high of 30 forecast for tomorrow).  The underground tank needs a Phase 2 (of course it does), but there is a possible solution to that.  As for Odessa, attorney for our legitimate party is in SF until Monday (of course he is).  And so, Murphy and his law are hard at work.  My poor sister.  She needs a stiff drink (she’s pregnant and due in days – of course).  I read books to my precious niece, who sat in my lap and let me hold her. I was reminded of sitting in Tanti’s lap when I was a very little girl.  The wheels in the sky keeps on turning....


Pictures:  La Bodega's upstairs bar as the cleaning begins,  It isn't supposed to be like this on a Tuesday afternoon;  The rigs on the way to Odessa today; My resignation letter as Vice-President of La Bodega, Inc.  Oh, that hurt....; A very special ring that I received from Whitey at Hipnic last year - it belonged to Cheri, Tim Bluhm's aunt, but she said I could keep it.  Today, it was passed on to a very special little girl who loves to wear purple dresses.

December 29, 2014

Today was the day I have been dreading for months.  Years, actually.  My heart is still in shock with the way some things took place, but apparently, in the restaurant business, there is a method to the madness, as in Life.  Who am I to question how things are done of which I have really very little knowledge?  These people – many of them, though not all, are my family.  I have seen them or known them since I was a very little girl.  Sometime, Life is tough.  I headed to work, greeted by a beautiful West Texas sunrise, the kind I shall probably not see again for quite some time, if ever.  I have to laugh at myself…here I am, the Great Proclaimer of “Life is cyclical” and yet…when I’m the one caught in that spinning wheel, I’m none too pleased.  Yet I’m aware of what is going on and “aware of my awareness”, if that makes sense.  Every time I come back into this town I am thrust into a chasm – of who I was, who I am…and a great deal of whom I might have become.  

I got to the restaurant in Odessa as Amabilia was pulling in in her sweet black Camaro.  This woman looked a hell of a lot better than I felt.  We went inside, a year and a half after I’d spent a summer with her trying to help make changes so that it would be different.  We hugged, cried, talked.  These are my siblings who share a common mother with me – La Bodega.  We are the ants that worked around this Queen Bee trying to make her strong and undefeatable (NW!)…it didn’t work.  In yet another misunderstandings, I had to head to the office to pick up checks for everyone, and in my rush, I backed right into the light pole.  I didn’t have time to get out to look, but when I got to the office, I saw that I had smashed the tail light and scrunched a part of the rear fender in.  Well, shit.  This is a clear sign from Universe that I must stop going backwards!!  I can’t seem to get it right when I do….  Now I need to find a body shop for an estimate.

When I got back with the checks, I walked into a small, mournful circle of employees….  The goodbyes began.  Many knew it would be happening and all were saddened by it.  My tears began here.  They had fallen three additional times before I was handed the phone – CBS 7 had heard a rumor….  La Bodega is something special here in town and I wasn’t surprised, so I answered all questions and elaborated on details.  What did surprise me was when the camera man set up to interview me.  I thought he would just film a few scenes….after such an emotional morning, I was not in my best frame of mind and looked like I should be sitting near a yarrow bush, knotting  macramé or singing Kumbaya..frizzed hair, tear-washed eyes.  <sigh>  Good thing I changed my major from hardcore journalist – I’d have given Christiane Amanpour a run for her money, indeed.

The next several hours was spent in hugging, re-crying, trying to organize the disconcerted mind in remembering necessary tasks, and instead running in circle of half-completion.  I also, in my memorabilia-driven way, needed to keep my history with La Bodega – so I grabbed 3 hot sauce bowls, 2 glass salt and pepper shakers with the square patterns that I would stare at as a young child.  I have 4 half order white plates and a few pieces of silverware that I purchased the summer I was there.  This is how I will keep my La Bodega.  I was lucky enough to get the story of LB’s founding from Roy Kimsey, himself, who financed the restaurant.  One day, I shall write the story and send it to the Midland Reporter Telegram. 

I got home, had enough time to grab paperwork which needed to be notarized by 5 and Olivia and I headed off to the bank, only to realize that I didn’t have my identification with me.  My mind is not working as it should…tooooo much happening, too much sadness.  I’ll get that done tomorrow morning.   I later headed to Midland LB to get the second course of my Midland meal – half an order of Mario’s burrito.  Mmmm, those things are good.  It has been an emotional day – a difficult day.  One day not so long ago I was carrying in potted chrysanthemums for opening day and now…not so long after, I am back to close her doors.  I’ll return to Odessa tomorrow for a bit to see what I can do and maybe just grab a little more of that La Bodega Spirit.

Pictures:  The West Texas sun rises; Midland's La Bodega sign inside the foyer; Odessa's fountain; Odessa's "section closed" sign.  Good-bye, Previous Life.

December 28, 2014

It was so hot in that room last night..I tried to open the window, but had no idea how to do so I just laid my hands on the cool window and got a little relief that way.  I discovered another thing that I forgot this morning was my medication, which I take daily and have been doing so since the age of 16. That wasn't a very good move on my part,  but fortunately I was able to call the pharmacy and get a prescription transferred to Texas.




Ethan was up fairly early, but Maggie was asleep for quite a while. Ingrid  loves Ethan, so they hung out and watched a show together for a while, but  eventually, Ingrid could handle it no longer and went to wake Maggie up. We hung around the house for several hours and then got dressed to go to La Bodega for lunch.


 

I went in my own car, as I was going to the pharmacy after we ate to get my medication.  I felt a little funny in my car with out any references to Texas colleges, Texas sports teams or local High schools (GO, LEE!!!)  Instead, I have a Grateful Dead Stealie, A Mother Hips insignia, and tow SF Giants stickers.  Plus, no big dualie, 3/4 ton truck.  I have a zippy efficient Mazda with a bike rack.

 It was hard in the restaurant.  It is a reliving of my entire child hood.  We spent our lives in that place - it was another part of the family. I was fine until I saw Chuy- then I cried.   Olivia and I sat at the same round table my family possessed every Saturday for years...and we ate, we talked, we laughed...little Ingrid and the kids had lunch and then we all left.









I headed off to the pharmacy, popped two of the Rx tablets before even left the building, then, once I was home, I walked to the park when I saw the garage door was open and the bikes were gone.  I loved Ethan being able to ride around and "jump" curbs the way I wished I could have when I was a child (I lived in the country - no sidewalks available)




Pictures:  The ant eyes at the park; I helping M make cinnamon rolls; E & I watching a cartoon together; I and M posing for the pictures.  <3

December 27, 2014

This morning, the bags under my eyes were so big, they would've been considered suitcases. Still, it was Day Two of our adventure and there were 9.5 more driving hours,  so I got the kids up to get dressed as there wasn't even a coffee maker in the room and someone needed some coffee. The air was icy cold outside:  it was in the low 30s and after we packed up, we headed to a nearby restaurant. The food was absolutely delicious.  It was real food, not loaded down with grease... unfortunately it was also the most expensive thing on teh trip so far (yes, even more than a tank of gas).  Naturally we had to hit the road with Willie and "On the Road Again."  I used to hear this on the way to Ruidoso when I was five, in the back of the station wagon and thus, no road trip is  complete without that. Then I moved onto "Mountains" by Prince as Ethan commented on the mountains in the Arizona distance.  The kids and I had fun as I practiced my Prince screams which have improved dramatically over the years.

I noticed that there is a border patrol truck, the first of many I was to see that day, on the median facing the wrong direction.  I don't know how he intends on capturing.  There was a large suburban with the "Jesus is Lord" sticker on the back of their window who was constantly on my tail and always in the passing lane. He was my first person of the day to teach on how to stay in the correct lane.  I was very proud when, after about six examples, he learned how to stay in the right lane unless he needed to pass, but not before I had my bright headlights on him .  Granted, in the daylight it doesn't do very much, but it was the principal.  He finally caught on and started moving back into the right lane.  I was a proud mama.

"His palms are callouses but his nails are trimmed."  It was a beautiful quote that from the book audiobook the help. I really like that book to listen to and one of the characters describes falling for someone I remember that Peter patter of my own heart.  It's such a nice  thing to remember.  I spoke on the phone with Olivia about a lot of things that have been taking place lately with my family. Despite a lot of hurt feelings in the past, I think that I've gotten to the point now where I can't really take sides anymore despite my own personal feelings and a lot of these battles.  I am able to see the reason behind a lot of the behaviors from other people and, unless it happens directly to me (which I thought learned to avoid and the last many years), I'm able to step back and try not to take it personally.

As we moved closer, in Arizona then later New Mexico and Texas,  I saw a lot of border patrol
agents. Living in Sacramento I'm too far removed from the issue as directly... although I remember growing up and being really worried about seeing those green trucks because I knew that it would mean a lot of people wouldn't be at work anymore. It's a really big issue and it's one that has personally affected me,  in a small way. I have known a lot of undocumented immigrants and it irritates me because so many assume that these people receive a ton of free services, which they don't. The people I know were hard-working.  That's a lot of  people that I know who are born Americans who stay home and play the system.   I wish people could understand how screwed up the system really is and stop blaming the people who work their asses off to provide for us and for their own family only wanting a better life

The air is absolutely beautiful in Texas.  It's in the 30s and I absolutely love it.  Parking outside of El Paso,  I realized that it was in the 30s and I was still wearing my little cami while other people  are wearing parkas, scarves and snow hats. I felt a little silly but it felt so good, so exhilarating. My perfect temperature has changed from 71 to 45.   It was absolutely wonderful showing up to the house, seeing Ingrid  and my sister.   Ingrid was so thrilled to see Maggie and Ethan, which took me back to a time when our Tanti would show up from Switzerland.  Good god, the circle has come all the way around, except I forgot all the gifts.   That little girl was so adorable and it makes me sad that we don't live closer to her room but I'm grateful that we see her as much as we do(yay, facetime).  I am also excited to meet my nephew.  Hopefully he's born while were here.


Pictures: The MOST unusual cloud formations over the Sierra Blanca Mountains in the Westest of Texas; Guess which state we're entering?!?!

December 26, 2014

I was so excited about the road trip last night that I was unable to fall sleep until after 1 o'clock in morning, so I reset the alarm to 4 o'clock in the morning rather than three, but Maggie woke me up at 3:45,   worried that I'd overslept, so we got up and ended up leaving the house open an hour later then and initially anticipated.   Heading over Tahoe summit,  I stopped by a gas station to inquire about the pass is being open before wasting two hours in having to turn back, like last time we came this route.  I met a woman from Germany who absolutely detested the fact that she was German. This is the first time in my life I've ever run into someone who hates their country of origin so deeply.   I swear, if she'd have been able to spit on the floor to emphasize her hatred, she would have done it.  Forty-five minutes later, it was 2 degrees and I regretted having left the chains at home*.   A few hours later the kids and I came upon a  bakery with the best french rolls...  We tried them, fell in love, so I went back in for more.     
the


As the kids slept in the car, I listen to the audio book "The Help" since I've never seen the movie. While I understand about people being raised with certain ideas and notions,  I have little tolerance for people who look down upon other ethnicities the way that is portrayed  in this book and I'm  so grateful I wasn't born in Texas several decades earlier, when racism was  predominant.  I think back to going to the country club, having so much fun in the changing rooms and up in the club house after tennis lessons with those two black gentlemen.  I remember those faces so well and with such affection.  They were so kind, and I loved sitting there, talking to them (I was about 8 years old), yet looking back on it - all of the people at the country club who worked there were black.  Was this Midland's way of racial superiority??  The very thought fills me with shame.  I detest that.  I could never be a country club person now.  No way in hell.


The weather made the drive over the icy areas take much longer than usual and it added about an hour or hour and a half to our time.  I was grateful I didn't need to buy more chains,  I just needed to drive very carefully over the ice. What annoyed me the worst was the 2 1/2 hours spent in Southern California on the 15 to 215 in the 10 freeway, driving about 17 mph.  Nope - never moving here again.




My eyes were crossed because of all the driving.  We were only on the road about 16 hours, which
seemed even more because of the traffic in  in Southern California. The driving, itself? It drives me *crazy* that people don't know about getting in the right-hand lane if they're driving slower. Do you know how much time would be saved if people would just move over and let other people pass them by? It was thrilling for me when I would set the proper example of constantly going back into the right-hand lane and when I would see the car eventually learn and move into the correct lane, I would give them silent high-fives.   Wooo!  My job is done here.

Our Denny's tradition has been silenced this evening.  The food is absolutely disgusting. It was cool to see Elvis, though, and after that I saw Morgan Freeman and his wife.  He was trying to find the cash register.  After Denny's, we headed to the hotel.  The only one we could find with two  beds was Motel 6, which was kinda gross**.  Although the lights are on.  My eyelids are vibrating.  I'm out.


*I also forgot the gifts for everyone here and the (heavy) antique tortilla press, which was to be gifted to Jose, who runs the commissary.  iSuck.

**The internet I paid for didn't work, despite 2 calls to the customer tech service.

Pictures:  The 395 near Mammoth in CA; More Mammoth;  Manzanar Relocation Center, CA