December 24, 2014

In proper Dickensian Christmas form:  “T’was a good morning to be had.  Indeed, ‘twas regarded as good because it was  a lazy one as the bedsheets lay about without so much as a movement.  Yet, once the energy of the day began and the reverberations of such  flitted about the brain almost like dust particles floating in the air,  the laziness took heed and bid adieu.  <and thus, my Dickensian into ends, though I am please to say I gathered a book, Martin Chuzzlewit, and shall begin reading it once I post this.

My heart hurt this morning…all because of a picture of a hot milk dispenser in Switzerland that Richard posted.  I miss that place and I yearn so much to be there.  I considered it again:  Am I trying to run away?  But no….  I remember what my soul feels like when I am there – I am home.  SNAP OUT OF IT, LADY!!!  I had to get going since I knew Carolene would be at the house around noon to pick up Maggie. She ended up being arriving 20 minutes early and taking Mags,  so at that point, I contacted Kaylee  to let her know that Ethan would soon be over to pick up the guitar.  I made certain he had left, then got in the car and quickly headed down to the bike shop to pick up Ethan's BMX. I was excited that things had gone as smoothly as they had (actually, I was suspicious),  yet as soon as those thoughts entered my mind,  I hit massive traffic.  Of course I did!!   Still it didn't last long and I finally made it home only to notice <with shock and horror> that Ethan had already returned.   I was very  grateful for darkened windows in the back of my car, walking in saying where's the guitar?   I commented about going to pick something at the store and having forgotten my wallet <See?!?  Despite my crazy ass “China Cat Sunflower” singing – ditzy-sided personality, I am a cold-calculated sneaky person and you all have no idea… ~evil chuckle~>  Ethanvtold me he will haven't been able to find Kaylee's house despite the detailed instructions I had given him. So i told him I would go get it myself and quickly fetched Maggie's guitar.  My next plan was to get some of the pecan tassies we’d made the night before to Kaylee as I had forgetten them in my rush  by sending  Ethan back to Kaylee's house with a more detailed map.  While he did that,  I got his bike out of the back of my car and put it in my bed under the covers so he wouldn't see it.   This was my morning.

We got busy decorating the tree.   I remembered that emotion like it was yesterday:  feeling  an excited disappointment when I was 12; I was old enough to stay home…but there was no Christkindl.  It was the horrible foot on either side of the fence and sadly, the side behind me, the childhood I had known, was quickly disappearing  and I knew Ethan was feeling the same. So we talked about it and he admitted that yeah,  it was  an unusual feeling he was experiencing.  I was glad he felt comfortable enough to talk to me about it.   After,  we started dinner so that the red cabbage would be cooked, as well as the potatoes for the mashed.  I sent Ethan into the kitchen then, so I could work on stockings and the gifts from Christ Kindle.  No need to tear all of childhood away at once.

It seemed Mags was there within minutes.  The kids were SO anxious to get started.  I insisted on taking pictures, however.  MUST CAPTURE THE MEMORY!!   Naturally, my camera froze (again) and the kids were dying. Yet, eventually,  we managed to get pictures made and then…the stocking came first.  The kids were really amazing.... Not rushing through the presents like manic little kids, but taking time and appreciating the experience, which meant so much to me. It was our little tribe and it was beautiful. <at this point of writing, I really shed some tears>


There was still one more gift for each of the kids I sent them into the  kitchen,  told them to close their eyes <and in proper form, they also made noise so they couldn’t hear anything…they are in the state of “young enough to love, mature enough to understand the magic of surprise>,  then I took the duvet off the bed,  grabbed Ethan's BMX in my hand and grabbed Maggie's guitar in the other, walking into the kitchen.  I  told him to open their eyes.  They were so excited!!!  Ethan was SO surprised and  Maggie was beside herself.   Ethan was trying to figure out away to ride his bike without getting wet (no such luck) and Maggie went into the living room with my guitar book and within minutes yelled out " I just tuned E!!!"  Be still, my heart. 

I cooked up the pork chops, which was this year’s request for  dinner as opposed to last year's spaghetti sandwiches <which were AWESOME by the way>, The pork chops were not  very good… I'm not sure why, so I suggested we put the pork chops away (none of us were  really hungry) and that we go play some original Mario Brothers.   The next few hours were spent laughing,  playing Mario Brothers and for once,  I was the one winning and beating the kids.  It was so much fun. Eventually L showed up and he helps hook up the receiver to the turntable so I could at least hear my records.  The preamp didn't really work, but I'll leave that to the professionals.  The kids left, and my heart sunk. I'm alone again and as much as I treasure  being able to be alone, I think I'm tiring of it.  I want to share life.  Merry Christmas, everyone.

 The pictures & the video:  Today's Day:  Decorating and the lighting of the candles>  <3  The nativity scene, despite my not being Christian, is my most precious Christmas memory; I was raised with this nativity as a child.