January 12, 2015

My early night to bed went very well…until it was getting later and later and I couldn’t fall asleep  due to this cloggy-sinus-headachy thing.   I finally popped 2 antihistamine tablets, then noticed the expiration date was June of 2011.  Gotta love the fact that my OTC junkie habit is under control.  By the time the alarm went off, the meds had kicked it and I was very drowsy and looked at my dead-weight legs, wondering how the hell I was going to get any yogic cooperation from them, so I gave myself permission NOT to get up.

Texted Swerner and was notified we have a sister of a former student, and by that, I mean it’s a family thing <grin>.  The class was fairly calm for a therapeutic services class (our newest title), but come second block, all hell broke loose and Red Bulls showed themselves.  Holy Dude, the kids were jumping.  The morning was a bewilderment of chaos and confusion.  I have never seen that person before, even though they’ve been in this class for almost 2 years.  Out of breath hustling back and forth, which is a clear sign to me I've quickly lost shape, but first let me clear this head a day longer.  Tomorrow, right?  Then I'll get back to it.A total of 3 new students, possibly a 4^th.  We are almost up to 17…last year we had 9 (5 in one of the classes), but these are <as I have said before>  good kids.  They have had the worst of experiences and have a bad set of tools for coping.
 

After work, I headed to my practicum site – I was having difficulty making an appointment for a TB test and needed to drop of my completed paperwork.    Was there about 30 minutes and left to make a deposit when I saw two very familiar looking people walking home, so I stopped to pick them up, drop them off at home, went to the bank, saw the third member of the little family, but after having almost been in about 4 car accidents today, I couldn’t stop to talk to him.  I am a box of nerves (is that a saying???) and want to get out of this car.  I can’t remember being this nervous about driving in a LOOONNNGG time.  Always makes me wonder...will memories of my car accident ever re-surface? 

I came home to some happy pups (who, by the way, managed to crack and eat a lot of my nuts yesterday…I have a carpet full of almond, walnut, hazelnut and Brazil nut shells.  I ‘m thinking it’s Mabi).  I cooked  a healthy-ish dinner, cleaned out my medicine cabinet and will hit the drawers tomorrow.  Little by little, I’m cleaning this place out.  Now for some Pobre Ana…I hear it’s so badly made that it will change my life. 

Ok, so here is the lame, sappy part. Yesterday I got a text from Maggie saying a boy she likes is fdteing someone else.  I understand how she feels.  I'm 43 and I'm still that way over boys...to the point where I have been talking to 4 different friends about this one guy that I, a <fuck, I really don't want to say this> a middle-aged woman <that hurt> has a crush on.  What can I tell Maggie?  That it'll get better?  That she'll grow out of it?  I can't lie to her...I still haven't grown out of getting my heart broken.  Yet words from a male friend seemed to make a difference <because see, I had to "get into the male mind", so I asked his opinion>.  He said I am an awesome person and someday I'll meet the perfect guy, but don't waste it on this one, waiting <which I'm not, btw> because if he can't take time for me, then he is not worth it.  For some reason, of all the similar words I've heard, those clicked.  I've been almost-semi-halfway-out of a crush for 23 hours and I feel strong.



Picture:  Only 1 today.  There were some cool clouds, but i really need to branch out in my photographic subjects.  Here we have California's state flower, the poppy, alive and well in Juneuary <purposeful misspelling> , when it's a late spring/summer flower.