January 23, 2015

There was a time, not so long ago, when I could spring out of bed and become Ohm-y with myself.  Now I’m more namastayin’ in bed.    A big part of it the last 24 hours is the ovulation of, I believe, A Very Large triangle or even trapezoid shaped egg.  I could never feel when my period was about to begin, but I could always tell when I was ovulating.  I need to have a long sit-down talk with the kids and let them know the my peri-menopausal state meansI will be “moody, with memory problems”  I don’t feel the need to fill them in on vaginal dryness.  I doubt I’ll even notice since the shop is closed down.  Brought both kids to school this morning – I have found it funny and somewhat annoying how Maggie – who is rarely sick, has discovered a whole new aspect of life:  scratchy voice, irritated throat noises, congested coughing, dizziness.  Naturally she has to fill me in on it – me, the one with one with pneumonia at 3 months, chronic bronchitis 2 times a year, often time mixed with pneumonia, and 14, yes 14 cases of strep throat.  Why go to the doctor?  I could correctly diagnose (and often did) myself.  I just didn’t have one of those “special note pads."

Ethan’s words yesterday kept ringing true in my ears today..  I have to say I often wondered why I was where I was – but then remembered – I’m working here to support myself through grad school.  Smarted idea would have been to start grad school when I was getting real child support – but now I have teaching credentials for the future in some distant land.  

After work, and oh, how I love Friday’s at 2:56, I headed to pick the kids up at a friend’s house, as they had a minimum day.  Once they were in the car, I asked Ethan if I should drive him to the Bike Shop so he could see about the internship there – he refused, said he didn’t want to and if I drove him there, he wouldn’t talk to anybody.  Well, shit.  Here we go again.  To be fair, I know I react far too quickly to this child.  I also realize there are softer, gentler ways to handle him, I just haven’t managed them quite yet.  I did the next best thing – I said, “If that’s how you’re going to behave then you won’t be spending the night at your friend’s house tonight, because that’s not how life works.  You can’t bail on the real stuff and do all the fun stuff.”    It was quiet for a minute, then I heard, “Can I call them from home?  I just don’t want you all to hear me.”  “You can, Ethan, I just wanted to be able to help you in parts you can improve. I get nervous too.  I'm nervous about tonight! I need people to tell me how to improve on things I do. “  Still  minor victory – and he was told to call back next week because they were very busy.  I hope this place works for him – he would be great and really learn at a place like this.  The burger place said no, and I’m sure he’s feeling rejected.

It was time!  I suddenly forgot just about everything I was supposed to remember, but talking with an intern at the practicum site helped tremendously.  I met with the client (ahhh... mother) and knew this is what I should be doing.  It was a wonderful hour – and went be quickly and easily.  I was told at its ending that I helped her, even though it was based on the child.  Build relationships?  Establish rapport?  I can do this.

Home to where Ethan had cooked an amazing dinner – on my verbal instructions.  A meal my mother made throughout my childhood and it took me quite a few tries to master – he got it in one fell swoop.  I’ll assign them the task of cooking dinners when I’m with clients.  Great practice for them and great dinners for us.  J  Ethan got to go to his friends’ house, after all, so Maggie and I watched the final Untamed America episode.  Nothing beats the grasshopper mouse, howling territorially , but at least we know where to find her.   I gotta git and put these rhombus eggs to bed.  They hurt.  

Pictures:  Union Mine's tribute to the love locks found in bridges in Europe, particularly the Seine river's bridges in Paris. It isn't much, but it's a beginning; Shadows on asphalt; Th moon peeks out from behind a tree by my house.