Thanks to the Norco, I slept all night long and didn’t worry
about getting kids to school, thanks to Linda.
I had a few pills left from what the doctor sent home, but I still
needed to get to Wal-Mart’s pharmacy to pick up the medication.
Again, my hard-headedness won out, and despite
many offers, I got in the car and headed out.
My initial plan was to use that electric seat and just cruise in the store,
right? But I couldn’t figure I out and was unable to locate anyone to ask, so I grabbed a cart and went to the pharmacy. I
was ok for the first two minutes, leaning against the wall, giving the tech my
information, but then it began and I immediately had to sit down or risk
falling. Sweat materialized all over my
body as if I'd been sprayed with a hose. I
was so dizzy..so hot..so weak..so thirty.
I took some sips of water from my ever-present bottle, but I was
concerned about the water making a reappearance, so I stopped, lay my head on
my hands, on the shopping cart side, and breathed. In…out…in…out… Heaven forbid I pass out and they call an
ambulance to take me back to ER and The Gang <new shift, though>, but for
a few minutes, this seemed to be the only way I'd get out out of Walmart. Maybe I'd see that EMT again! Seriously, though...how in the hell was I to get everything
done? Slow done, I told myself, you can
do this. Breathe…. After 5 minutes of focusing on other people’s
conversations, I began to cool down. I
saw a woman I used to work with (she hadn’t recognized me as I was such a damn
hot mess) and after speaking gently with her, I had regained enough strength to
make it to the soup aisle.
Drove home…carefully. My strength was back but I was still über-cautious. I am sorry, to all the men in my past, but it
has never felt as good talking of my clothes as it did RIGHT NOW. I got a message soon though, from Rachel, a
wonderful woman who lost her Amber to ovarian cancer in August. She brought me over some delicious chicken
noodle soup and some incredible things from the co-op –nutritious things my body
needs. Per her suggestion (and horrific experience)
when I go to my doctor for a checkup in a couple of days, I’m requesting CA-125
to see of here is any cancer in my ovaries. \
I slept. There were still a few more hours until I
needed to pick up my kids from school.
Ethan had phoned me before I left for Wal-Mart, asking if I could call the
Placerville Bike Shop to inquire about doing an internship there. I called and
spoke with Jeff, who understands about Ethan’s insecurities…it would be fine if
he worked there. And so, despite the doctor’s orders to rest, this is truly a
once-in-a-lifetime opportunity for Ethan to intern in a place where he has some
interest and learn how to engage with others.
I picked up the kids…Maggie was a
little sad about the sports awards banquet at her school, which I had not
considered. She was able to ask a
teammate’s mom to pick her up and for
this, I was so thankful. I hadn’t
realized how meaningful it was, but I was too Norco’d out to drive <”know
when to saw when”> Ethan worked on
homework and YouTube videos about speakers, dry-ice and cats. I need to figure out how to block “other”
You-Tube sites he will want to access soon.
All signs point to that time not being too far away.
It’s been a relatively pain-free
day. L, my sister, and many others
seeing how I’m doing, which really does mean so much to me. Even though I’m alone, I know I’m not without
people who love me.
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