January 28, 2015

My  head pounds like two cannonballs in a high-speed dryer when I take those pain meds, so I’m laying off for a bit to see if there are worth it.  I do appreciate a clear head.  Boy’s alarm failed to go off, so I got him up – he is much further along in successful-alarm-setting skills than girl-child.  I called and left a message with my doctor’s office twice, as no one would answer.  I get a text from PG&E later saying there are phone line issues.  Okay???  Later, I managed to catch the doctor's office's return call and set an appointment with my nurse practitioner for 1:45 tomorrow.  I’m really looking forward to this appointment.

Slept, woke, up from pain, slept, woke up from pain.  It’s really six of one, half-a-dozen the other.  Either way, I’m going to hurt.  A special delivery was being made today, so I wrote a note to UPS about it taking longer than normal to get to the door, but that I was there.  Grabbed a piece of tape and…saw the package laying on a chair outside my house.  My new next-7-years laptop.  This Dell has done me good, so I bought another one with a no-glare screen and back-lit keys.  This is the one extravagant item I’m buying. 

My daughter called as soon as she got out from school on her dad’s phone.  She was crying last night and said she missed me so much.   We talked a bit and then hung up.  I called Ethan’s internship and he had just left – so I should be seeing him soon.  It’s difficult to read much – makes my head ache worse – so I slept more.  An hour later Ethan still wasn’t home and now I was mad.  That boy knows to let me know before he goes to a friend’s house – which is what I assumed he’d done.  Yet, just as the fire was starting to seep from my ears, I heard him pull in.  He’d ridden around Main Street.  Still – I made it very clear that he needs to let me know these things before.  “I don’t have a cell phone!”  <that old trick>  “Use the Bike Shop’s phone and call me….”

We ended up cooking dinner somewhat together.  He wanted to experiment and I needed to make chicken tortilla soup from one of my dad’s handwritten recipes.  I lasted about 15-20 minutes before I was ready to fall down either from pain or fainting, so into my bedroom  to wait as it simmered.  Ethan’s cooking Mount Everest has been to make a good meatball.  I’m not sure why he can’t, but I’ll show him how once I get my sea legs back.  He ended up making a large mound of seasoned organic meat.  I slurped on delicious made-from scratch chicken tortilla soup with frozen LB corn tortillas.  Thanks, Papi.  After we ate dinner together on my bed, he showed me speakers we could get for my car to install ourselves using YouTube magic.  I love learning new things like this with my kids.  Lord knows I have enough tools....

I’m scared about a few things.  I’m scared about this whatever-I-Have, because it isn’t going away, despite my half-an-hour iv antibiotic and now day 4 of oral antibiotics.  It still hurts to high hell.  I am also worried about my mom skills…that my boy right now is in there, cleaning the kitchen for me (with an added incentive, of course), but how he struggles in school.  I worry about my girl, finding her path.  She has so much in her, but just doesn’t see it.  But mostly, most honestly anyway, I’m scared about me.  I hurt and it could be so many things.

Pictures:  The sunlight forcing it's way into my darkened room; A hand-written recipe from my father for tonight's dinner...