March 13, 2015 Ethan is a teenager

I bought a HSMF ticket after yesterday’s talk.  I had too.  Now I have to make some arrangements.  The sky was quilt-ey beautiful this morning, very colorful as the Sun rose. The drive to school had a batting sky, with the soft clouds. I did manage a little reading this morning and read about women “in my age group” and that marriage is often more harmful than beneficial due to the many roles women have – wife, mother, professional, housecleaner, shopper, cook, etc.  I decided this morning when I read the stats from various studies that I am officially off the market.  Not interested in playing that whole game again only to be exhausted and resentful with all the expectations (many from Self as I tried to “fulfill a role”) at the end of the day.  I like this life much, much better.  The necessity of midterms called for early work, so I loaded up my laptop, textbook, etc, as there might be a few minutes of nothing to do.

School day was short, yet long.  I felt so Out Of Place.  I wish I wasn’t so damn “feely” and just a hard shell of ice.  It makes things easier sometimes.  After, I headed to an auto store and bought some silicon lubricant.  I was excited to repair the window, but first – the site.  Here I did some paperwork , made some phone calls and met with a parent about an assessment.  I haven’t met the child, but looking at the assessment, there is simply too much on this kid’s plate: baseball, Eagle Scout, jazz band – all very precise things with high expectations.

Picked up my boy and wished him a HAPPY 13^th BIRTHDAY!!!  This kid has, in the last few months, amazed me with many of his very adult and responsible decisions.  Granted, we have our issues sometimes, but we talk about it anyway.  Life isn’t supposed to be bump-free, how would we learn?  He is a terrific kid and I am proud of the person he IS – not “has become.”  He is sensitive, empathic, a fair and kind human and he is a lot of FUN.  I thought he might be a little sad that only one friend could come to his celebration, but he said he was actually glad to be spending time with his friend one-on-one and he would spend time with the others individually at a later time.  He was also happy to have Maggie and her friend come with to paintball.  <mom’s best dream>

I was outside, having removed the handle when Ethan’s friend arrived.  Mom and I had a long talk about many of the things we agree on and it was good seeing her again.  After they left, I got back to the window and much to my chagrin, the window (after rolling it down to distribute the silicon lube) wouldn’t roll up again.  Dammitdammitdammit. I also saw a vw westy 1976, sunshine yellow, being sold last year in Indiana for less and in better condition, but I have adopted Lizzie Mae with happy heart.  I am simply saddened with my inabilities and lack of free time.  I’d love to dive in a spend weeks repairing her if I had any mechanical ability.

The boys ordered pizza, I picked it up.  I ate too many pieces and too many skittles.  I worked on my hours, my homework, my need for sleep on World Sleep Day.  It is two minutes past ten o’clock.  I’m late to bed.

Pictures:  The sun shining through this lovely oak kept speaking to me; The morning quilt of clouds;  Popcorn clouds.