March 19, 2015

I opened myself up to Universe because I knew this type of anguish and misery was not right…and the messages started coming.  Last night, because I needed to close out the day with something to focus on, I listened to part of a Brené Brown TED talk.  I got my first message:  “Push into the Discomfort.”  Ok.   This morning, I (re)heard Don Miguel Ruiz’s Four Agreements:  “Do not take anything personally” has always been one that speaks to me.  And then, today, at work, I heard another from a special student:  “It’s a good thing I have double socks on!”   Me: “Why?”  “Just in case!!”  And there ya go.  <smile>

I also realized today that I am doing absolutely nothing wrong and there is little reason for me to feel so threatened.  I have a heck of a lot of Truth and folks behind me if it comes to anything.  This is where, once again, Faith comes in.  

After work, I hurried off to make my son’s conference – I heard some absolutely terrific things – I also heard about some not so terrific choices and for that, there will be consequences.  He knows…. After, it was pointed out to me by L that I have METAL showing through on my tires – not good at all and NOT safe.  How the hell are they so worn already?  Fortunately, I have a kick ass VW bus at home, so I switched cars (the ride home was very nerve-racking for me).  It’s one thing when my front tire blew on my Supra when I was 17 – another thing with my daughter in the backseat of my car.

 Off to my first AOD group with someone I know from long ago.  It was like being at Union Mine.  Lots of familiar faces.  This is a field I know – we’ll just have to see about getting certified someday, maybe. Then I headed off to the parenting class with Jen.  I am really looking forward to these classes with her, enjoying them tremendously.  Tonight Officer Stelz was in with us, giving a demonstration on drugs and gangs.  It was quite eye opening.  This area isn’t as backwoods as people assume…no place is, anymore.

Store visit to get some milk and then home.  Ethan showed me his new creations tonight – amazing things, indeed, but then I got to tell him about his choices at school not being wise ones.  Life isn’t fun, sometimes…I get that, and friends are often much more fun than difficult subjects like math. However, I cannot allow his choices to be okay.  It isn’t fun for him; It isn’t fun for me, but I must be firm because choices now will affect the future and it’s a lot easier now than when he’s in juvenile hall at 17.  That may be extreme, but then I know lots of kids who have made bad choices and parents looked the other way.  Bummer for Ethan because I’m not one of those parents.

Picture:  My 3 bamboo stalks which I bought in China Town during a Chinese lunar festival.   "Setsu do Motsu means “strong like bamboo” — and provides multiple layers of understanding about how important flexibility is, and how important flexibility is as a component of being strong." - Goju Karate