It was not a good wake-up this morning. I had hoped a night’s rest would bring peace,
but I battled with myself not to call in and cancel supervision, yet coffee won
out, as the pre-set maker was already hard at work. The day did not improve as I embarked upon
it; I had a cloud hanging over me for reasons unknown. During supervision, tears almost escaped my
eyes…I was so disheartened. My emotions
were not over the troubled kids I see, the truly
dysfunctional families (to the point of intervention) – it was about the rest
of us – the people who “have their shit together” because those people are the ones
who are guiding the course and this scares me.
I left, quietly -
which is very “un” me. Headed home where “It” began. The girls were still asleep in their fort I later heard they were up until 6 watching
Netflix (Man, I miss when the clock struck 12 or 1, there was a picture of the American
flag and the anthem, and then…snow). The
kitchen had not been cleaned after mini-pie baking, so I began there and
continued – the cabinet: things were
thrown away and shelves were cleaned.
Into the back room, where the pantry area was attacked. This felt good and I believe this little
daily trend of cleaning out drawers, cabinets, shelves is a good one.
The change is not sudden, but it is deep.
The girls arose and it was not long before we headed to open
house at their school This year, there
is a whole new Upper Campus which is huge.
I am still trying to wrap my head around how the whole school has fit
there until now and suddenly it is only for K-3 (I think). My wheels in my head were spinning and it is
evident to me that I’m not done growing quite yet because I still have pangs of
sadness, bitterness, hurt whenever I
am on this campus. I try to tell myself
that it isn’t about me, yet then I remember the untruths and falsities and…I
need to move on. I think – I hope this
will be our last year here, though Maggie started up about finishing 8th
grade here, which means another year.
No, please, no…let’s go to Switzerland, my Sweet: a world of adventure.
Off to my client for the first time in the other office,
where I’d never been. I love it! The info I had on the client wasn’t quite
accurate, so I was short a few things, but no big deal, I‘ll straighten it out
tomorrow. Session went very well and the
next one is scheduled. I do love working with these kids and
families. This line of work has been
calling my name since I was about age
17. Scooped up my kids at different
places, a quick store run as I have
found it is best to have kids along as they determine what they will eat. The bars I have been getting Maggie for the past
month <up to 4 boxes now>? She can’t
eat them due to braces. The popcorn with
Siracha I got Ethan? Same issue. Why do I bother? Eventually.. home.
Where I grilled Ethan and myself a nice New York strip. It has been years since I have done this, but
I figured that since I need protein and vegetables, why the hell not. Mags ate fish sticks and we sat together,
talking, laughing. Those kids grow in
one way or another every time I see them.
I swear Ethan is a mini man with his shadow ‘stache <which I hate,
btw, but he won’t shave> and Mags…well…that girl’s height is something. The way the two interact bring me such joy
and grief at the same time – Ethan teasing the girl mercilessly, but she
knowingly doesn’t engage – then they lovingly help one another without thought,
like the two peas in a pod they are such a joy, truly. Tomorrow, the early awakenings begin again. Man. If
only there was a tram station nearby….
Pictures: The ladder to the blackberries; The girls slept in a fort; Going through tons of stuff and getting it cleaning out.
No comments:
Post a Comment