August 13, 2015

At some point in the darkness of the night, I awoke and thought…”I could watch the Perseid meteor shower!” as my real self countered – “Are you out of your fucking mind?” So..that didn’t  took place and I got a good night’s sleep.  I was thrilled to receive an email from the project manager, Dr. Ribeaud, of the Criminological Research Unit at the Swiss Federal Institute of Technology Zurich.  They are looking for someone to run statistical analysis on data, which is something I have done, but do not do, so I shall write him back, clarifying that while I am very interested in and have/am worked with such populations, I am the qualitative one, who works with such individuals.  

Dropped the kids off, picked up crickets for Violet, dropped by work to write up prog notes, Home Depot for STUFF, then away to the gym.  Initially the workout felt lax and I saw little progress, but somehow, it ended up being one of my better workouts.  Still have a long way to go, but if I keep the food in check, I’ll be ok.  I wish I had taken pictures before I started the gym, but I can’t do that.  

Stopping by the section of the sidewalk where Elliot was standing, I gave him the $5 promised to him yesterday.    I gave him this money because following through on my words is important to me and I learned almost 11 years ago that I need to do what I say and say what I do.  

Post shower and a huge salad, I was back at work.  There is a LOT I want to do – a LOT I want to learn.  I’d love to work in the juvenile hall system, I’d love to work with trauma victims, I’d love to work with youth and sexuality , there’s so much!  My first task is to re-write my CV, focus on on-line courses, trainings, etc.  It seems there is always “something” taking place which tends to somewhat interfere with my Change-The-World-For-The-Better plans, but some day....  It’s similar to this house: drawer by drawer, cabinet by cabinet.  It’s a slow process, but if I am thorough, then it shall be a job well worth it.  Group went well –I enjoy working with these youths…the ones I was once a part of.  Talking about paying it back.

Picked up the kids and headed home.  Initially there was fun, but then…a request to clear dishes shattered any sense of peace within the young man.  Must be a soap allergy or something, I dunno, but there is this tremendous unjoy <new word!> when basic everyday chores are required.  Usually they are done with a bit of moaning or whatnot, but today differed.  My mind always goes back to my childhood – good god, any such behavior would have resulted in much worse, but see, there was a fear of What Would Happen.  I do not want my children to fear me or what I’ll do.  I know they do not like the consequences, but  actual ‘yelling’ is meant for very particular situations.  I’m of the school that…they will learn.  I know this to be true, for you cannot go through life without washing dishes, not at my pay scale, anyway.  There aren’t short cuts in life, no easy way out.  I know this is a little deep for a 13 year old, but I hold true that you get out of it what you put into it.

 Pictures: Mitzi the Worry Bone, my first 'gift' begins....<photo by Elena Von Gortler>; Swiss flag!  Let's get some good vibes flowing and hope the CH okays my passport renewal without additional documents!; A little baking...I didn't realize custard expands.