August 15, 2015

My heavy heart kept waking me all night long, my mind  returning to the communication I'd had with my brother-in-law about the state of his son and what happened in the next 15 minutes.  Those minutes...had he seen his son?  Been able to talk to him?  I also felt bad for being here, when I wanted to be there doing whatever I could to help with everyday tasks I didn't want them to have to worry about.  The bad thing is this was Maggie's first music fest and my usual "oh-my-God-my-mother-won't-quit-embarrassing-me-with-her-zest-for-life-attitude" was DEFINITELY not there. Maggie woke up eventually, she was freezing all night long, so tonight I'll give her my piece of bus-magic, my duvet, and I'll use the quilts.

We ate breakfast-I'd had some kefir and a hard boiled egg but she wanted bacon....  Brandon contacted me this morning for advice, and oh my goodness, a better happening I could not imagine on this heavy morning.  Walking along Calpine’s Main Street, Maggie & I explored a bit, then headed back to the lodge where I was able to use the phone to call L. I had been trying all morning to contact them with no luck.  It seems Jonathan was test driving a car for the shop when someone made drove out, he lost control and slammed him into a pole.  Jaws of life were used and he was alive, but died on the operating table.  We sat, listening to Marty Robbins, Waylon Jennings, & Johnny Horton, all songs of my childhood, as my heart grew heavier and heavier.

Grieving time – I cried so hard.  This is every parent’s worst nightmare  and the nightmare happened to my brother-in-law, to a kid I knew, who was in my circle.  Maggie came over and hugged me, rubbing my back and telling me it would be ok.  Then, she read and I pondered, looked at the sky and trees from the top bunk of the bus, wondering why.  At one point I went to the pick-a-thon and sang along a wretchedly sad song (of course) with everyone else, and it was so damn beautiful, but then I had to return to my little palace of solitude.  I listened to Steve Poltz outside, sitting in the chair by Lizzie.  Tears fell again.  Soon, though, it was time to get it together, so we fixed chicken and then headed off to find Barbara and Brad (Ma & Pa Comatose).  We found them in the lodge and talked to them for over an hour.  Really truly fabulous people with hearts of gold.  No wonder their boys are so cool – they came from great parents.  They left, Mags and I left. Heading to the bus, on our way, we both inhaled, said,  “Smell the…” Mags said “barbeque,”  I said “pot” then a simultaneous “Oh…” and laughter.  Peas in a pod, that one and I.

 

I could hear The Sam Chase finishing up (I thought) so Mags and I headed down. Fortunately for me, they were not finished yet and I was able to see them (which is twice as good as simply hearing them) perform.  What a talented group of artists!  Justine, their fiddle player, is leaving for Nashville so this was her last show with them.  Mags and I moved our way up and by the time the guys were on we were in the front which is where we stayed for the whole show, and what a show it was.  Many guests popping in to play alongside them.  Honestly, these were the best 2 plus hours of the fest for me.  Mags say when Gio ran out of water and took his bottle to get him more, Ben mouthed to me  to get down with everyone else during the Van song as he played guitar.   The show wasn’t quite done by 1:30 yet, so we left “early” and came to bed. 

 

We plan on leaving early tomorrow after cleaning up and eating a breakfast at the lodge.  Instead of a birthday celebration for Jonathan, people are gathering to remember him tomorrow at 2:00 and I can’t miss that. 

 Pictures:  My guarding gnome, keeping Lizzie safe; My view for much of the day - the inside of Lizzie; Scratched on the inside of a building; Mags watching the Comatopia kickball game; Gio Benedetti - this guy puts the passion in music.