September 16, 2015

I don’t know what’s going on…the coughing seems to be getting worse again.  Good grief.  The morning involved coffee, yet another plate of spinach and eggs and The Who.  Almost all the fixings for perfection, right?  Wrong.  I also saw I’m being visited again by furry intruders.  They have diligently worked at moving the steel wool to the side, so I added another bunch and dripped loads of peppermint oil in it.  Now my house smells like a damn Candyland area. 

I brought home Bobby Ewing yesterday.  It’s time for a change.  In rushed fashion, I printed out a John Schneider photo.  Well, sure!  A Bo Duke altar.  I was also worried about someone I know.  I tried contacting them.  Nothing.  I called.  Nothing.  I dd this several times and was almost ready to call about a welfare check.  I texted one more time, mentioning concern and worried about suicidality.  I guess those were the

magic words because i heard back.  It is so much better to feel foolish than to not reach out. 

Group supervision today.  I’m feeling….  Not sure what I am feeling, but it is something.  I had planned to go to the gym today but my lungs are all filled again, so I think not.  I know, I know…go to the doctor.  The thing is this:  it doesn’t really help.  I’m not saying my medical folks aren’t really doctors because they are, but it seems nothing is ever really “solved” there.

I headed to my therapist.  Of course I forgot my checkbook at home, but she is fine with it.  I discussed my worry about my boy.  Moving to Europe?  Not just a whole new school, but a new country, a new language, a new culture?  Yes – undeniably once the difficulty is overcome, it will be much better for him, however….  I am hoping he is enchanted with the place and that will help a great deal.  I heard from Jonah today, a friend from Switzerland who lives there.  He sent some links which will be good to look into.  

The further I get, the more overwhelmed I am becoming, I feel.   I need an adult to tell me what to do:  “Clean this room first, finish this task second, take 30 minutes for your break, take the dogs here…”.  Yes, adulting certainly gets tricky sometimes.  Looking for the Peace, because I know it’s there.  I heard it pitter-pattering on my roof not too long ago, which is Universe giving me a hug.

Picture:  Sweet John Schneider before his "Bo Duke" years.  I should switch this photo out for a shirtless Bo Duke.