After the kids were dropped off at their daily jobs, I
headed to the gym. I got some running
in, some MMA on the Octane machine, some other stuff and then, when I hadn’t
burned 698 calories doing the same things I did Thursday, I talked to
Gabriella. I know the answer lies in the
fact that I ate berry tarts to celebrate Jake’s birthday (for him, so he didn’t
have to). This is where Gabriella can
help me because she, like me, is a female; she, like me, is a female over age 40. She was also a swimmer in high school, but
that probably just adds the super cool factor in my book. So we talked food. We talked foods I need to eat, how, when,
etc. She is not a “you can get a cheat
meal when you are ready to handle it” like Jake is, she said take 3 meals a
week (she spreads them over the weekend)
and cheat. Plus, eat a scoop of
peanut butter at night! I like this
approach. Much more do-ish-er for me.
I came home, showered, then got busy calling the facility,
hoping they had gotten my resume last night and hoping to set up an
interview. As luck would have it – the extension
I phoned ended up being the clinical director of the site and my interview is
tomorrow morning. I think I am pretty
strong in interviewing, despite what I admit publicly and AOD is something I know – personally. I may not have certifications, but I know the
hell, as well as the head games and bullshit.
I hope I’m as good with adults as I am with teen kids.
It was time for group supervision, which is usually
something I look forward to, but I hafta admit – knowing I won’t be there
changed everything. I was devastated…again
I felt I had found my place where I belonged (I felt like this at CMP, too, and
even went so far as to get a Montessori credential that’s how committed I was
to the school). Granted I was getting the
masters long before I knew I’d be placed here, but I have such a fondness for the
people there. I really feel like I
belonged there. Guess Universe has other
plans. When I got there, I spoke of my
client and listened to my colleague about his, but I couldn’t really participate…I
feel my air has been let out of my balloon and like a petulant 5 year old, I am
pouting. It hurts to be here – I cleaned off more of my desk: all the books on the window ledge. And in a sickening, unprofessional manner – I
feel like “that new therapist” is winning and that pisses me off even more
(long story). Oh, the irony….
I headed home quickly, grabbed
stuff, took care of things and then headed to the jail to deliver a letter –
only it doesn’t work that way – so I’ll mail it tomorrow. Grabbed Mags from her volleyball party and,
as hip new songs played on the radio, told her it was about coke (not the drink)
and that’s why the face is numb. As the next song came on – we agreed, in
unison that it was about heroin. It’s good
to have a daughter who is knowledgeable about drugs. Still- - I’m going to show my kids the movie
their dentist made about meth mouth…you know, just to quell any possible future
temptation. We were 15 minutes early,
but Ethan came over right away (I forgot I told him to come over as soon as he
saw my car. I keep forgetting he doesn’t
have a watch). Then he got straight to
homework when we got home. He can’t play
in tomorrow’s championship because of failing grades, but the thing is – then how
did he get to play yesterday?? And how the
hell is it suddenly a 16? That is
impossible for him to make up in 2 days – especially when there are no
resources available to him online. I’m
kinda livid about this. That kid has
been working his ass off on homework every day for the past 2 weeks, both here
and at his dad’s. On his own. I am so proud of him yet so disappointed in a
school system that invariably is a set up to fail for a kid like him. He cannot understand one of his teachers at
all and struggles with the others.
Off to my second-to-last
practicum class with a big glass bowl…plus containers of salad, ham, egg, etc, enjoying
dinner as I sat there in the room. Weber
asked if it was my travel bowl “you bet” I answered, without missing a
bit. Damn, I love Kalamata olives, They change everything. I had nothing to present, so I sat and
listened, as a classmate sat next to me eating her fast food and rubbing her
thighs in a very disgusting way that made me want to shower. Somethings I will not miss about this place. Wendy, Chris and Weber – yes. Others, not so much….
Pictures: Pre-Costa Rica and during Costa Rica.... sorry - it was a picture-less day.
