October 7, 2015

After the kids were dropped off at their daily jobs, I headed to the gym.  I got some running in, some MMA on the Octane machine, some other stuff and then, when I hadn’t burned 698 calories doing the same things I did Thursday, I talked to Gabriella.  I know the answer lies in the fact that I ate berry tarts to celebrate Jake’s birthday (for him, so he didn’t have to).  This is where Gabriella can help me because she, like me, is a female; she,  like me,  is a female over age 40.  She was also a swimmer in high school, but that probably just adds the super cool factor in my book.  So we talked food.  We talked foods I need to eat, how, when, etc.  She is not a “you can get a cheat meal when you are ready to handle it” like Jake is, she said take 3 meals a week (she spreads them over the weekend)  and cheat.  Plus, eat a scoop of peanut butter at night!  I like this approach.  Much more do-ish-er for me.

I came home, showered, then got busy calling the facility, hoping they had gotten my resume last night and hoping to set up an interview.  As luck would have it – the extension I phoned ended up being the clinical director of the site and my interview is tomorrow morning.  I think I am pretty strong in interviewing, despite what I admit publicly and AOD is something I know – personally.  I may not have certifications, but I know the hell, as well as the head games and bullshit.  I hope I’m as good with adults as I am with teen kids.  

It was time for group supervision, which is usually something I look forward to, but I hafta admit – knowing I won’t be there changed everything.  I was devastated…again I felt I had found my place where I belonged (I felt like this at CMP, too, and even went so far as to get a Montessori credential that’s how committed I was to the school).  Granted I was getting the masters long before I knew I’d be placed here, but I have such a fondness for the people there.  I really feel like I belonged there.  Guess Universe has other plans.  When I got there, I spoke of my client and listened to my colleague about his, but I couldn’t really participate…I feel my air has been let out of my balloon and like a petulant 5 year old, I am pouting. It hurts to be here – I cleaned off more of my desk:  all the books on the window ledge.  And in a sickening, unprofessional manner – I feel like “that new therapist” is winning and that pisses me off even more (long story).  Oh, the irony….

I headed home quickly, grabbed stuff, took care of things and then headed to the jail to deliver a letter – only it doesn’t work that way – so I’ll mail it tomorrow.  Grabbed Mags from her volleyball party and, as hip new songs played on the radio, told her it was about coke (not the drink) and that’s why the face is numb.  As the next song came on – we agreed, in unison that it was about heroin.  It’s good to have a daughter who is knowledgeable about drugs.  Still- - I’m going to show my kids the movie their dentist made about meth mouth…you know, just to quell any possible future temptation.  We were 15 minutes early, but Ethan came over right away (I forgot I told him to come over as soon as he saw my car.  I keep forgetting he doesn’t have a watch).  Then he got straight to homework when we got home.  He can’t play in tomorrow’s championship because of failing grades, but the thing is – then how did he get to play yesterday??  And how the hell is it suddenly a 16?  That is impossible for him to make up in 2 days – especially when there are no resources available to him online.  I’m kinda livid about this.  That kid has been working his ass off on homework every day for the past 2 weeks, both here and at his dad’s.  On his own.  I am so proud of him yet so disappointed in a school system that invariably is a set up to fail for a kid like him.  He cannot understand one of his teachers at all and struggles with the others.

Off to my second-to-last practicum class with a big glass bowl…plus containers of salad, ham, egg, etc, enjoying dinner as I sat there in the room.  Weber asked if it was my travel bowl “you bet” I answered, without missing a bit.  Damn, I love Kalamata olives,  They change everything.  I had nothing to present, so I sat and listened, as a classmate sat next to me eating her fast food and rubbing her thighs in a very disgusting way that made me want to shower.  Somethings I will not miss about this place.  Wendy, Chris and Weber – yes.  Others, not so much….

 Pictures:  Pre-Costa Rica and during Costa Rica.... sorry - it was a picture-less day.