March 9, 2016

Yoga is SO GOOD for my body.  I stretch, my body feels happy – the appetite is resuming healthily.  I’ve always known it was the answer.

This morning was a CRB morning with some “Burn Slow” because holy hell my heart is hurting. I wanted SO BADLY to give my kids this incredible perspective of Europe – of seeing life differently than is this blinder-led life of frickin’ El Dorado-Hickville-County (is it obvious I am nota fan?). 5 more years in this place and I’m out.  Shit…5 more years…  

Client didn’t show, so I called mom to check in, checked in with parents of other clients – all sorts of grown-up responsible stuff.  I think today is an extension of yesterday’s grownupness. A colleague then uttered a sentence which threw everything into “WOW”ness: "I can't put down a V code under Axis I as a primary, can I?"  That’s a damn fine sentence, colleague.  Thank you.

Rush to juvie for a LONG meeting, rush back to NM for a new client assessment, and then…

Home.  Where my beloved son made baked chicken for me.  No sides (he said I didn’t have anything..guess that white brain-looking hunk of something was playing hid & seek again), but that’s ok, as I didn’t have time to eat my spinach leaves at work, so I had that.  Sold my Hips ticket to a friend to prepare for my big SF night out with my girl.  It’s all good.

Picture: Again - no pics today, so here is last night's fun: creating VW bus stickers.  Jesus is pronounced in teh Spanish form as I have a love affair with Mexican food.  Hell, yes.

February 24, 2016

Yoga – Day Three – the restart continues.  Despite waking up at 4:07, I stayed in bed “sleeping” until the alarm rang at 5:30.  After a bit I did my yoga and some arm weights.  This morning's selection was L.A. Guns, by the way – in case you wondered.

It was difficult this morning – taking my client on a journey away from the easy topics to topics which need to be addressed.  It’s hard for all of us, I get that.

The group supervision was smaller today – some of us have left the agency, some of us are in Paris, some of us are not here for different reason.  Personally, I would use the Paris reason.  I sat there with my computer page on a couple of different things – one on a sex therapist page as this is (still) the topic I am interested in specializing in.  I feel I am gentle and easy to talk to and, as sexuality is a major building block of us, of our self-esteem, of how we carry ourselves, or how we contribute (or don’t) in relationship, I would like to be able to assist people who so often  experience sexuality issues but have difficulty talking to someone.  I hope that in meeting me for an initial session, many will feel I am non-judgmental and easy to talk to.  So – that was one computer page.  The other was Prince, for his Oakland show on Sunday.  Credit card was ready, and I jumped on it at noon – but no luck – it sold out in minutes (HOW does that happen?  And HOW does that ONE guy I know ALWAYS get tickets??).  Oh-kay, well – I guess 2 Hips shows this weekend will have to be enough (smile).

 

Juvenile hall and then – I pulled up to my kids’ school and waited.  As I waited, I spoke to my financial dude about the logic in purchasing a home since Europe is sadly not going to be in the picture and he agreed that if I plan to be here at least 4 (5?) years, buying a home makes sense.  I am not going to quit trying for Europe, but that interview - she made a lot of sense...and I worry about the kids' education. And so... I have some money for a down payment, but was amazed at how little a difference it seemed to make between insurance, property taxes, and all sorts of other red tape.  This state and its bureaucracy….  It seems I forgot that the kid’s grandmother picks them up on Wednesday, so there we both sat, a few cars away from each other, waiting, until the kids were released.  My son kindly reminded me that today grandmother picks them up.  Ha and oops.

 

I went home and looked at houses.  I have 9 month left in this lease, so I can look at least.  The kids and I hung out in the evening…I love being with them.  I have to find time to add about 5 more clients to my schedule since I’m not doing the parent group as of last Thursday.  You know – I’m ok with that.  I like being busy – not sure where I’ll put the clients, but I am finding that I am slowly, somewhat cautiously beginning to trust in who I am and a lot of that is because of the feedback I get from my dear colleagues.  Boundaries: I’m beginning to learn how to set them.  

Pictures: Mags as Cookie Monster

February 23, 2016

Yoga – Day Two...again.  I am a quitter, but fortunately I’m also a re-starter.  The day started with some AC/DC, thanks to Corby, and any day starting with AC/DC has promise. 

Dropped the kids at school and headed off to training…only as soon as I got on the freeway, I started thinking about protein, which led to the eggs I had boiled, which led to “did I even shut the stove off?”  which led me to start to obsess a little.  I called the school so I could check with Maggie (she’s my reminder-er) and headed on to training.

It is interesting how certain people from a certain group I used to attend have all been reappearing in my life again.  One lives 4 houses away.  That is a pretty interesting coincidence, but I shan’t go into detail.  Today, there were a couple of other from this group at training – one of them was in my past for almost 2 years in a different way, but gain…this is something I don’t want to go into detail about.  Sometimes it’s just better to leave things unsaid.  During our break, I called the school again - since I'd never heard from Maggie and she didn't even realize I had been boiling eggs, so during lunch, I raced home to check the stove.  No firetrucks, no firemen (sad face), and no exploded eggs.

The good thing I learned at training was that I shall probably be able to stay at juvenile hall until May, which is absolutely wonderful.  After the training (where I was given a card by the head of a big thing up in Tahoe and in return I gave him my business card – first hand-off!), I headed off to grab the kids.  Ethan was checking out boys’ volleyball so as I waited, I thought about purchasing a home.  Since we’ll be here a while, I’m wondering.  Would it be a good idea?  I have a little to put money down and pay for while I’m here – then I could rent it out.  I’m not sure – gonna talk it over with some folks who know better than I…I just hate throwing away money for rent.

The Instant Pot is the second best investment (after the Soda Stream).  Tonight, I made stacked chicken enchiladas with a chile verde sauce and the kids loved it.  Made reservations for the pups this weekend, I’m looking forward to my Mother Hips adventure in Santa Cruz/Sebastopol.  My first weekend as an actual groupie.  

Pictures: This morning's Wicked Tree; No flame!  Yet another day of success in not burning down the house.

January 26, 2016

Beat the alarm clock by 3 minutes and was ever so tempted to say “fuck the yoga”… but, I wanna change this body.  Honestly, I’m beginning to doubt it will ever happen.  I change a few pounds here and there and that’s it.  Did yoga, though…

..and then got a friend request from a man who had seen my post on the expat site.  He moved from Israel last year and is also a Swiss citizen.  Lives there now with his family – has 20 years experience in my field.  Ever so cool!!

Work: Busy, busy day.  Victim of sexual molestation - able to talk and connect with this person.  Blows me away that I am so damn lucky to work with these kids. One high point was getting a text from my best buddy from high school, Brent.  It’s his birthday today.  For YEARS I have wished him a happy birthday on this day and today he beat me to the punch (reminding me to wish him a happy birthday).  That guy hasn’t changed a bit and I miss the hell out of him.

Picked up Ethan at his internship at the Bike Shop, then Mags at school and we drove home.  ALL THREE OF US were exhausted – not sure why.  I can’t speak for the kids, but I did a face plant on my favorite thing, my bed.

I was so tired that the concept of cooking something brought to mind images of kitchen fires, so we went to a Salvadorian/Mexican place in the area for dinner.  I was so proud of myself for only eating half of my burrito.  It has been some time since that has happened, but it could simply be because my body is too damn tired to digest and put the kibosh on eating the whole thing.  Somehow, I ended up with a piece of pork in my boot.  I have no idea who this happened, as I was eating very respectfully and everything (didn't throw food even once). 

Pictures: Our table decor; Ethan got a  shot of my glorious boot pork.

January 21, 2016

5:13 and I’m up.  I gathered the candles, the incense and laid out my yoga mat upon my sacred blanket.  It felt good.  I’m not as bendy, but it will come back, I know, provided I continue.

It was an Erasure kind of morning and I sang loudly.  Dropped the kids off at school and was finally presented with a key at the hall.  I love it there. Worked all the way through…

..until it was time to pick up the kids from study hall, and drop them back at home.  I had put a pot roast in the crock pot and it smelled so good as we walked in, yet I still needed to complete supervision hours, so I turned around and headed back to the agency where I glad to see a co-worker so I could get more info.  Supervision ended with Elena and Susan begging for show tunes, so I closed us out with “Matchmaker, Matchmaker” from Fiddler on the Roof.  Mazeltov.

 

Walking to my front door, I saw a face peering out of the window and noticed a sign on the door: “Welcome to Super Formal Land, plus some Supernatural”.  The door opened before me and Ethan, dressed in some nice clothing, reached for my work bags and led me inside, where Maggie was dressed in a lovely dress, with the table nicely set in preparation for a family dinner and episodes of Supernatural.  What a glorious Tribe I have been graced with.

I received the final packet 2 days ago from Libby regarding my Montessori education  which I shall scan and email it off tonight.  Then, I wait.  I do have many additional schools to contact, beyond the one in which I interviewed, and then there is work to start on my psychology degrees.  I have been wondering what to do with no school, no homework, and my question has been answered: start working towards the next phase of my life, if that is where I am intended to be.

Pictures: The lovely announcement of tonight's festivities; the way to work; tonight's cranberries.