March 8, 2016

An early departure so Mags could pick up some doughnuts for friends (and herself).  On the way we listened to classical music, which we have been doing as of late – the boy tends to lean towards Russian folk influence.  The girl is open to any style, I think. 

Busy day today – oh my….  Site work, which notified me of an IEP on Monday.  I think my Mondays’ off are no more – I’m throwing myself into this to emerge myself as much as I can.  

A tele-psych session with a long-ago classmate who struggles with many issues.  Suddenly this grown-up lady who knew what she was talking about emerged from my mouth.  Like I told Trish at the school site – “I’m doing all sorts of grown-up things today….”

A quick pick up and drop off so I could meet my late clients at work.  I’m thinking I need to add a bit of fun in there for the young one.  

At home I sat with the boy (the girl was busy and didn’t come out to greet me for 3 hours).  We looked at various houses for sale.  I’m wondering about foreclosure homes or a fixer-upper with is now bank-owned.  I’ve never bought a home before.  Holy shit, so much grown-upness in one day.

Picture: I took none today  -this was a screen shot of what Ethan is looking for (birthday is coming up) which I texted to L, which Ethan saw.  I have lost my sneaky abilities.

February 23, 2016

Yoga – Day Two...again.  I am a quitter, but fortunately I’m also a re-starter.  The day started with some AC/DC, thanks to Corby, and any day starting with AC/DC has promise. 

Dropped the kids at school and headed off to training…only as soon as I got on the freeway, I started thinking about protein, which led to the eggs I had boiled, which led to “did I even shut the stove off?”  which led me to start to obsess a little.  I called the school so I could check with Maggie (she’s my reminder-er) and headed on to training.

It is interesting how certain people from a certain group I used to attend have all been reappearing in my life again.  One lives 4 houses away.  That is a pretty interesting coincidence, but I shan’t go into detail.  Today, there were a couple of other from this group at training – one of them was in my past for almost 2 years in a different way, but gain…this is something I don’t want to go into detail about.  Sometimes it’s just better to leave things unsaid.  During our break, I called the school again - since I'd never heard from Maggie and she didn't even realize I had been boiling eggs, so during lunch, I raced home to check the stove.  No firetrucks, no firemen (sad face), and no exploded eggs.

The good thing I learned at training was that I shall probably be able to stay at juvenile hall until May, which is absolutely wonderful.  After the training (where I was given a card by the head of a big thing up in Tahoe and in return I gave him my business card – first hand-off!), I headed off to grab the kids.  Ethan was checking out boys’ volleyball so as I waited, I thought about purchasing a home.  Since we’ll be here a while, I’m wondering.  Would it be a good idea?  I have a little to put money down and pay for while I’m here – then I could rent it out.  I’m not sure – gonna talk it over with some folks who know better than I…I just hate throwing away money for rent.

The Instant Pot is the second best investment (after the Soda Stream).  Tonight, I made stacked chicken enchiladas with a chile verde sauce and the kids loved it.  Made reservations for the pups this weekend, I’m looking forward to my Mother Hips adventure in Santa Cruz/Sebastopol.  My first weekend as an actual groupie.  

Pictures: This morning's Wicked Tree; No flame!  Yet another day of success in not burning down the house.

November 16, 2015

This morning (first wake-up at 4:54) I’m a little sad.  There was this guy and the possibilities of something…there was interest in him from me and beautiful words written about me from him…and yet, and yet....  It ended the way things often have in my life in terms of "Possibility":  nowhere…but for a moment, my heart was smiling with the joy of “maybe”.   

The weather was so chilly last night that Lizzie was not faring well and she was in a deep sleep.  Around 10 I even got a blow dryer out there to try to heat the engine, but she was too cold.  In the meanwhile, I pumped air in my tires and loaded the bike in the bus, then continued in the house with whatever it is needed to be done.  I dropped off some extras of recovery books I have (for some reason I have many copies) at a transitional living house, then headed to make appointments for the dogs at a kennel.  Once that was done,  I headed back home where I knew Lizzie would start up and sure enough she did.  

I hustled down to the body shop, worked things out with them, threw on my camelback under my new Marmot jacket – a gift from my sister - and unloaded the bike.  The guys at the shop offered to give me a ride home, but hell no!  This is an adventure!!  I mounted that bad boy (holy hell.  Don’t go there, Ali, don’t.go.there.) and headed off…for about 100 yards until the steep hill really took off and I could do no more.  I had to push that bastard up the hill.  My thighs were on fire, my chest was pounding…and both of these were not in the good way.  At the top of the hill, a group of quite handsome electricians were standing about and commented.  Try as I might to be cute, I’m not sure my words were even understood, so I continued on, with a panting smile.  Lemme tell ya, though - I rocked the downhill.  

I had to hurry and get over to the new house to sign papers and do a walk through.  I was 20 minutes early and walked into the house, looking for Sean, who was nowhere to be found.  Now common sense would tell you – he’s there, just chill, but I kept yelling his name, looking everywhere…the poor guy was trying to pee.  At times, I am a neurotic freak.  Turns out, I needed to have a cashier's check, so (glad I was early), I raced to my bank, got it, and raced back.  We went through the house, room by room and then went over the paperwork.  I think he is starting to lighten up with me…when we got to the part about drugs, etc – not even MJ – I giggled and said but I’m in recovery, so…and he had to explain it was a blanket statement, nothing personal.  We did crack some great meth jokes, though, so I think he gets me now.  I had to scoot off to get the kids and we went right back to the house – they were IN LOVE with it – the insides, the outsides…the size of my room…(which really is 4 times bigger than this one – it’s bigger than our living room.  The great thing is we can start moving in now – the bad thing is no, we can’t because we are leaving in 3 days.

We headed back home after a few other errands for dinner..and then I realized I had packed up all the quick foods and there wasn’t time for crockpot stuff, so we turned right around again and headed to the Chinese food place.  Home to more packing, but it ended up more with dancing and singing (from me), napping (Ethan) and checking out gift cards (Mags).  The poor dogs are nervous as hell, because it is evident something weird is happening.  I came to my computer to finally sit down to try to capture some moments from today when I saw a letter from Mags. It read:

“Europe, here I come…Thank you SO much, Mother, for letting US experience all these different cultures.  You have NO idea what this means to me.  I admire you SO much, like how you always put us first before your work, school, and frankly even your social life.  I love you SO MUCH!  Like seriously, I love you to the end of the earth I think it might be unhealthy…). – Maggie"

That makes it all worth it.  Still…a guy, even a love-pen pal would be nice. I don't want that one-night thing...not into that.  So ...I'll wait.   I know, I know... he's in Switzerland, right?

 Pictures:  Our current kitchen-sink scene/our soon-to-be kitchen-sink scene (and yes, you can see the Sierras); Back yard; front shot; packing & packing; Very Special Letter.

November 6, 2015

Fast 5aD because it’s late, I’m tired and we have the storage/garage sale tomorrow:

Woke up on time, but still rather late.  Next thing I knew it was 7:10 and Mags and I had missed having her to school in time for her early morning volunteer work at 7:15.  C’est la Vie.

Came back home and got busy with CDs and packing different areas – laundry room, closet, etc.  Spoke with financial advisor, sealed the deal with the house (we get keys the 16^th) and got tickets for Hipsmas!  Thrilled about that because this is hopefully my last one (meaning I hope CH works out).

I wrote out checks…and one was a very special one to a guy who loaned me money for a bus ride many, many years ago from Arkansas back down to Texas.  I was broke, but I was alive and grateful.  Around the time that it needed to happen, I headed to work, made some calls, then headed to school where I picked up the kids.  I drove them to the new house in about 7 minutes and showed them the outside.  They were squealing with delight from the onset, which made my heart smile, and before I knew it, they were jumping with joy on the trampoline.  They can’t wait to move here now, and that makes my heart so very happy.

We headed to Uncle Jeff’s to wish him a happy birthday and present him with the fudge Mags made, but first, I headed to ER to check on my precious client who was in a car accident.  All was good, but I’ll tell you – so much car stuff happening (bad, bad energy):  3 of our people at work have been involved in car accidents this week – a friend of so many was killed 2 weeks ago and 2 kids from Union Mine were killed Tuesday.  So many drivers have almost hit me in the last few days…I hate this – so much death and destruction.

Then, dropped kids, off, back to work for client, then picked up kids and we had dinner to celebrate nacho day and Friday.  Here, Maggie questioned me on whom I would considered to be my best friend since I don’t really have one…a few days ago she questioned me on men and said "I don't understand why your aren't dating anyone."   I’m concerned she’s going to have me evaluated.  Next was home, where we had great fun with the mouse traps (I pinched my finger once; then scrapped my arm when I screamed and jumped back in fear from the trap snapping).  We were playing Catan when we heard the trap, but nothing…until we looked in the back of the stove and there sat the deer mouse (a rat)– about a foot long from  nose to tip of tail.  So we got out the  trap, which makes sense as to why none of the mouse traps have been working.  We have mice too though, because I got one the other night.  The house is infested and I am counting the hours til we head to Europe.  I’ll let the landlord know and he can do stuff while we are gone.

 Pics 'n Flicks: Ethan balancing...the kid is good; Time to pay it back; Trampoline Joy; Violet loves that I finally turned on the heater yesterday; Kyle the deer mouse; How we catch rats in this house.

October 26, 2015

Mornings have changed so much since the kids have created their own routines.  It isn’t as hurried, as rushed, we all do our own thing. Today, we grooved a little to some Bob Marley, then we left. On the way - The Weeknd's song "Can't Feel My Face" came on, which I absolute adore because it has such  a great beat.  I told the kids from the get-go that it was about cocaine,  but then I sing and dance to it every time, like a Solid Gold dancer, minus the gold Lamé.  Maggie giggled and said that of all the pop song, I love the one about drugs. I like these kids.  I know everyone loves their kids, but I like mine, too.  I think they are really responsible, good kids with character and integrity.  I like that. 

After I got back, I started house-hunting. It’s a bit worrisome, considering that I’ve been looking for a few weeks, there aren’t new listings popping up.  This could cause troubles.  The site I signed for after talking to Josh Friday night showed me one I hadn’t seen on the webpage, so I called.  It was nearby, so I left to go look at it – it was…almost perfect.  Well, location wise, yes – it’s in a nearby valley, there’s a lovely tree in the back.  I hugged the tree. I talked to it.  I also ate some cherry tomatoes which had been forgotten.  I’ll cross fingers and tour it tomorrow..  I dropped by The Bookery to sell back my 54 philosophy books and many others.  It hurts my heart, but.... At home I called about another house, but they told me I was $432 short of making three times as much income to qualify.  I said thanks and hung up – didn’t even think about child support, so I’ll call them back tomorrow.  It’s good to get on as many lists as possible.  It wasn’t long before it was time to head off to school.  Scratch that, personal therapy (it’s near my school).  As I drove I listened to the Ted Talks Radio Hour and the topic was… OpenSource, which I appreciate very much.  It’s the sharing of ideas and helping one another – it is the collective instead of the individual.  I think about before the Internet and what Life Was Like – we went to a library, we looked in Encyclopedias or books for information, we talked to librarians.  Now, we go to our laptops.  I miss the Dewey Decimal System and writing out reports by hand.  The sense of accomplishment seemed different because it was more time-consuming to gather facts.  Now it is done with the touch of a hand. It's good, of course, but it's also helped quell our collectivism - we can now do it all ourselves.  This part I don't like so much. 

Therapy was interesting.  It always is.  This woman digs and analyses, which I like to do, myself.  Connect G to A somehow…think until you see the connection.  Today – I told her of my constant “never finished”, always feeling I’m running behind.  There is something behind me, like a light over my head and it pushes me forward.  It guides me – because I’m not sure where I’m going, only that I’m not finished yet – far from it.  I will never be one of those who is satisfied…I have to continue.  She asked me if I’m running away from something to go to CH – no, I’m not.  I’ve asked myself that very question, but I’m not running from, I’m running to.  Off to school then to drop off hours and I saw Wendy.  Talked to her for a while, which is so nice.  She made a good suggestion.  Talk to L- the kids can stay in the old house and I'll sleep in the bus.  Sounds good to me;  All I need is an extension cord and I'm good.  Then Weber showed up.  Poor guy...he thought he was done with me and here I am, 5 days later.  I asked if he offered a doctorate degree and he said no.  Humph.  No more school with some favorite people.

 

Headed home and the single plume of smoke I'd seen became two and one was massive - I checked on scanner-nothing - but an odd audio interference.   I checked Yubanet once I got home nothing there, either.  I kept looking and saw it was a prescribed burn.  I guess The Powers That Be are fairly confident we will have rain Wednesday.  

 Packed up the bus a bit after talking to a neighbor.  She saw the sign, the packing.  It'll be so sad leaving this neighborhood: Brent, Sandy, Terry, Stephanie, Steve, Carol, Bill and Judy.  What an incredible group of people.  Lizzie and I headed back to storage.  My heart has been heavy since getting home earlier and I'm not sure why.  Such a sorrow within, I feel as if I've been weeping all day.  Being in Lizzie cheered me up, though. This bus is a friend to me, which is really weird.  One drop off to storage and then I needed peanut butter, so to the store I went…and there they were: cranberries.  My world just exploded (I had written to Jake earlier today asking if he had divorced me since I wasn’t there but I was packing up/moving my whole house so did that count as weights?)  He had responded as I was entering the store, assuring me all was good and yes, moving a house solo counts as weights.  Universe has a wicked sense of humor.  **This is the severity of my love life** When I posted a picture of the cranberries and wrote “it happened” a friend 2,000 miles away thought I meant sex.  I responded no…that (my chance for sex) was hit by an asteroid, the Sun was blocked, and it (my chance) had  died.  Silver lining: I really don’t even need to shave my legs in the summer. 

 I bought all the necessities for CC and some scented candles.  Dessert and candles:  My world really has exploded.  At home, I easily and effortlessly made the cranberry crunch then soaked in the tub for a bit.  My back is hurting a lot.  I really am foolish in moving these boxes alone yet I’m not sure I’ll ever learn.

In honor of OpenSource, here is the recipe I created many years ago.  I've held onto this recipe only sharintg it with two parties who were sworn to secrecy,  hoping someday I could do something with it, like be on Good Morning America with Joan and Charlie, but that clearly won't happen.  If YOU end up on Good Morning America, will you at least mention my name and see if I can be at the taping?  Enjoy. xo

Cranberry Crunch

Preheat oven to 375.  In a bowl, combine half a bag of cranberries, a full container of sweetened condensed milk, and lemon zest from a whole lemon.

In a large bowl, combine 3/4 cup butter with 1 1/2 cups biscuit mix (I use BisQuick but they all work - one day I'll figure out how to make it from homemade ingredients), and stir until mostly mixed.  Then add cranberry mixture and spread into a buttered 9 x 9 inch baking pan.  

In a smaller bowl, combine the other 1/2 cup biscuit mix, 1/2 cup brown sugar and 2 tablespoons butter and sprinkle over cranberry crunch. *Trick - I add more butter and more brown sugar because it's just good, common sense. 

Add walnuts if you so desire (FYI: these put the "crunch" in Cranberry Crunch, yet also keeps Maggie from eating it, a win/win)

Bake 70 minutes (though I take it out after an hour due to our oven, so know your oven!).

Sauce: in a sauce pan, combine 1/2 cup sugar, 1 tblsp cornstarch, 1 tsp cinnamon, 1/2 tsp nutmeg and add cold 1/2 cup water.  Add the remaining half of cranberries.  Cook it over medium low heat until it thickens and cranberries are exploding in gleeful joy, then pour over the baked goodness of Fall.

If sharing this recipe doesn't help me lose weight, I'll be really angry.