February 22, 2016

This morning was a lovely walk into the past with Kenny Rogers.  Someone on FB asked who my first star crush was and I had answered ABC news’ Peter Jennings, but that’s wrong – I didn’t have a crush on him until I was about 7.  Kenny Rogers, however, an occasional visitor to Hee-Haw (his wife was in it) was my first crush – after the way Lucille treated him, can you see why?

My Tuesday was on a Monday today, because I have training all day tomorrow, and it became it clear to me why I don’t do this on todays…yikes.  Fortunately I got everything done and down and headed home where I was being picked up.

J-Ber meet me on the corner and graciously brought me to German Auto Werks where my baby waited for me.  A lot was done to her and while she sounded good, before she sang to me this afternoon.  The dash lights work, she has a hot button, new battery, casing, gas gauge works, and all sorts of other things.  Drew sold me some new headlights (he has faith I can install them myself).  I have some credit at cip1, a VW shop, and will soon buy new taillight assemblies.  

Picked up my kiddos after study hall and we headed home in our beautiful Lizzie….There are some thing that need to be done, I’d like to get the driver seat fixed, maybe a few other things on the interior.  Since we are here, I might as well pretty her up.

 

Ethan did me a solid and did my headlights on the Mazda (for some money).  I cooked dinner and we ate said-dinner…wish I had something semi-brilliant to write...Lord knows hundreds of thoughts go through my head every day.  So tired lately, though, so tired.  

Pictures: Trying to explain the 80s to kid born after 2000; Lizzie rides again.

February 21, 2016

It was a horrible dream…I was being chased by someone I had once loved and I didn’t want to go back, but I couldn’t seem to say no.  It’s difficult when you don’t want to hurt feelings, yet a boundary very clearly needs to be set.  Fortunately I woke up before anything happened.

I spoke to my old high school friend today – I needed a pep talk and he is the one I get them from.  The premise was these thirty pounds that don’t want to go anywhere, but to me it went much deeper because my issues are so intertwined.  Yes, it may be about getting motivated and/or having to white-knuckle it until results are seen on my body, yet it is also about me and what I am doing in every other part of my life.  Life isn’t a project, Tim, you are so right and there is more than one mountain to climb.  I guess, in essence, Life is a hike.

Boy was so excited about his projects he was in the garage much of the morning.  He mentioned wanting to make it a “cave” but this is Lizzie’s room (she’s ready, btw!).  Before getting started on all these projects, we had a few trips to make thrift store(s), office store, Home Depot.  It was good hanging out with just him, just as I love hanging out with just Maggie (we have tickets to see The Brothers Comatose for their album release in San Francisco!).  When we got home, Ethan got busy with his project and it wasn’t long until he had made a knife out of lead he had melted.  This is the knife he had designed Friday night and now here it was.  I was very impressed.  While he worked, I started unpacking some things which were still boxed up.

After we ate dinner (Coq au Vin from the pressure cooker – this thing is amazing), it was time to watch “Bully”, the movie I borrowed from juvenile hall.  I watched it with the kids (tear-free – the kids were very proud of me) and afterwards I told them my story about being bullied in junior high (tears fell hard here).  I think this is a movie every parent should watch with their kids.

 I work tomorrow since I have a workshop all day Tuesday; gotta make up the sessions with my Tuesday kids. I’m looking forward to the weekend – Hips shows Friday and Saturday nights.  It’ll be nice to see my Hips family again, although this time, I’m going in with different expectations.

Pictures: Ethan's project during and after; Cameraman "Three, two, one..and you're on!"; This is why I never have pretty "girl hands"; Such a gorgeous moonrise

February 20, 2016

I was in in bed at 9:15.  I was asleep by 9:30, it was that bad.  The neat thing is I slept so luxuriously and slept until about 7:40.  I wish I could get this much sleep every night.

Woke up in a mood though – those kind that you feel approaching, sit in your bones and seem to stay.  I didn’t do much to alleviate it.  I can’t appear to get unstuck from this mood and it seems to have gotten a little worse since I decided not to go to Europe this year.  As the day went on it continued to get worse and I simply let it slide.  I wondered…is it because I stopped my SSRIs?  But no – I won’t just jump back on that easily.  I know myself and I know my warning signals and sometimes you hit these points in life.  It isn’t always a merry-go-round and when your life dream is cancelled or put on hold (to me it’s essentially cancelled).  It’ll be okay, just need to find something to give me a little life-woosh.  

The day continued...Ethan was with his dad at our old house looking through tools.  After a quick run by the gym, I picked up Mags from a friend’s house.  Mags and I spun some records while we cleaned a bit and then headed to get the dogs annual vaccinations and then headed home again,  It wasn’t long til L showed up with Ethan who became really upset for some reason when I told him we would not be staying in this house when our year lease was up. 

The big (to me) plan was to return to Union Mine and attend the food truck gathering to help fund the UM band.  It seems, as L was saying earlier, that food is the one thing which motivates me.  This is a sad and true fact, but we were headed off to UM, nonetheless.  Music rules, after all. By the time we were there, Ethan was in a better mood again.  I guess he had figured out his solution.  I didn’t see anyone I knew, other than student I had frequently talked with.  “Keep your head low and avert your eyes – no eye contact with anyone!” was my motto.  

  

Hot chocolates and board games were on the schedule, so we had to stop by the store to get hot chocolate stuff and cream.  My sister Facetimed while we were there.  Today was here 39^th birthday and she was saddened – she'd had a shitty day at work in the field (she was researching bats who are dying off in record numbers due to white nose syndrome) as well as a horrible birthday.  I empathized with her – mine sucked, too-  and said we needed to go somewhere for a long weekend and celebrate our birthdays together.  At home, Mags and I made hot chocolate while Ethan went into the garage to start clearing his area for a work bench.  He wanted to build it the next weekend here, but we’ll be in Yosemite.  Mags and I set up Memoir ’44, a WWII strategy game, but it’s so dark in here and my war nomenclature is minimal, so we threw on some Office and chilled.  

Pictures: Last week, our street sign was changed to "Pinion" - glad to see the original is back; Pics from Union Mine

February 19, 2016

Five.  Five o’clock in the damn morning.  Fridays I have to get up early with Mags and I guess my brain sets its own alarm clock and thus, after a night of horrid sleeping because I was so cold, I was up.

Got Mags to school with Erasure and, since E was sick yet again, I made it to juvie with Van Hagar – for a minute - before it was back to Van Halen.  Made it in to work, but ,my god – the coffee before last night’s Parent Project was not a wise idea.  Usually coffee has little effect in keeping me up, but not always…not last night.  

The day was…exhausting, but so rewarding…so damn rewarding. 

Ran by the office to fax in a CPS report and talked to my supervisor and then…off to the bank to pay a bill.  In all this “moving” chaos, I never received a bill (thanks, USPS, who has not delivered a majority of my mail) and..one was 18 days late.  Blech.  At least it won’t affect my credit score (my FICA score is my trophy-wife).  Sadly, I didn’t have my check book with me, so home to gather that and chit-chat with the Boy.  He was on the phone with his dad about his new plan and L was really happy and supportive to hear it.  I grabbed my check book and headed off.  Bills paid, a store run and then home, home, home….

 I made my next attempt at chili for Hipnic.  It’s a little too spicy but a cool guy helped me with a selection which I could not make on my own.  We sat together – me watching SN and him designing things to make.  We’re going to build a workbench soon; he found the “perfect” place to put it in the garage….  Yup – I guess we will be here for a minute.

Pictures: Regrets; Chili

February 18, 2016

Another 5:20 wake-up, another morning of van Halen.  VH and I go way back and like to reunite every once in a while.

Another successful drop-off at school and another successful day at JH. I was told this evening by a colleague that it is funny how I am so excited to be at this facility when, for so long, it was a place no one wanted to be placed in.  I’ve got a couple more weeks and have already begun my silent state of mourning in leaving.

The kiddos had a science fair today, so I headed over to support my children in their love of science.  The exciting thing here is that last night we had a Big Storm and many trees were downed, which meant many lost power.  The school (upper campus at least) lost electricity  - yet still, they were able to forge ahead.  I saw Ethan’s Rube Goldberg contribution and Maggie’s Fluorine paper (which wasn’t part of the science fair but her contribution wasn’t able to print out as there was no power).  The Girl loves and enjoys school, but it was this portion of the year that he, The Boy Who Doesn't Care For School,  has enjoyed building and creating. 

Headed home after to the joys of our new Instant Pot.  Ethan dared to utter the words – “Ohh, we can have good food now!” But he said it with a  grin as he watched for my reaction.  This thing has a pressure cooker and can heat up a pot roast in very little time.  I will admit, it is going to help me with my secret chili recipe for Hipnic.

Off to what I found out would be my last night of Parent Project – I will either get additional clients or work less hours.  I'll miss working with my J-Ber (who else will give her bra issues to worry about??) and I will miss interacting with all these parents.  I headed home, where my Girl & my Boy waited for me.  My Sweet Daughter had made the protein pancakes for me, so I wouldn’t have to cook  when I got home late from group.  Love that girl.  The Boy had  something he wanted to  talk to me about – he has decided that purchasing a dirt bike may not be the smartest decision as it is expensive and would take a long time to save for, plus it can only be done at certain times.  Instead, he told me, his passion is taking things apart and creating things, and he’d like to build a workbench with me and then buy tools to make things – even possible starting a YouTube channel where there is the small potential of earning some money.  I love this idea.  This is where Ethan blossoms as he is telling me about possibilities he has.  This is also how he learns.  Now that we are here for a minute, I guess it’s time to unpack a bit and settle down for the lessons.

 Pictures:  Boy at the fair; Tree at group; Maggie's fluorine; Springter blossoms (it's technically still winter)