August 12, 2014

A flood of thoughts and opinions regarding Robin Williams was all over FB this morning: he was selfish, he had “so much”, why didn’t he think of his family, et cetera.  It broke my heart.  One post caught my eye, in particular, saying there were no winners in this.  I disagree.  Though I wouldn’t classify it as “winning”, Robin Williams finally escaped his Hell.  

The dogs are going to be my undoing.  I planned Mabi (that doesn’t sound quite right)  and the kids and I awaited her.  I worked 10 minutes from home and it would be fine, right?  Wrong.  I was moved to a job 45 minutes away when she was a few months old.  Fortunately, I was able to afford some serious training and life was good.  Then, smack in the middle of this expensive-ass training, they shut my classroom down due to small class size.  Oh, hell no.  Now what?  It was time for a career change.  So, I start grad school so I can become a therapist.  Mabi wasn’t happy with my study hours, but she was loved and understood.  Then, On That Day, for some reason, I saw puppies, was offered one for free and I took her.  <this is a huge regret>  My thoughts, not that I had many at that time, were that Mabi would have a friend <which she does>  “ Look..how cuuuutteee….”   At this point, I am just about at the end of my rope.  I no longer have  the time nor money for training and now they are ganging up on me.  Annie just about drove me over the edge this morning….  “On her period” and not well trained is not a good combination. 

More running around like crazy at work.  No coffee wasn’t a good thing for my brain this morning,  so I may have a little tomorrow.  I am so grateful to be done with high school.  I cannot explain how viciously my head was pounding during ICT (Internet Computer Technology).  It wasn’t stopping.  I rested a bit during me lunch break…no FB on my phone, so I actually just sat and meditated a bit.  What an interesting concept. <grin> I am actually enjoying being "detached"

After work, I hopped over to the health food store to go pick up a few things.  My head is on jack-hammer mode and the lady at the counter is holding full-on educational seminars for every.single.person.  I almost snapped when she began exchanging email addresses for a spiritual class at the café on Sunday afternoons (2-4!!).  Headed home and hopped into my bed for a brief nap.  Thanks, Papi.  I get it, now.

All day long I have been having the most pornographic thoughts about Mexican food….  I’m surprised I have made it this long.  Melted cheese, hot chips, spicy sauce…oh my gawd…It’s a fricking orgasm in my mouth. I am NOT good at this juice thing... I’m not even unhappy with my body, it’s that my clothes are too tight.  I don’t want “camel toe” to become a descriptor on how my shorts fit me.   I can’t even work on my vignette successfully, though I have it started.  I am hoping I feel better tomorrow and that my brain is in working condition, otherwise it will be late.  But at this point, I could care less.  I just want nachos.

Picture:  Mabi meditating as I work on my vignette