August 19, 2014

Going to bed at 9:30 was awesome. When I worked up at 3:30 I felt somewhat vindicated by being able to sleep another two hours. I got dressed for yoga because heaven forbid my children should walk in and see some poor middle-aged naked women flopping around on the ground like a fish. I also tied my hair back this time so I didn't look like a drunken concertgoer at a W.A.S.P. concert.  <after I read this to Ethan and showed him a W.A.S.P. concert from 1984 on YouTube, he commented" that's what I like about now, 'cause at least people don't look crazy anymore".  He wouldn't have liked my musical tastes in the 80s had he seen those “men” wearing more makeup and hairspray than I ever will.

Great day..wore a dress that mayyyy have been a little too low cut, but it’s such a frumpy dress I can’t imagine it being seen as “sexy”.  If anything I expected people to donate pink hair rollers to me so that I could place them in my hair and complete the look.  But no, instead I sewed it together with some red thread and a needle. It didn’t last long (But not because of breast pressure, rather it was simply because I’m a poor seamstress).

Listening to 80s radio much of the day, I was able to compose  “Words of the Wise” for all of us who survived those years: “and his mind  is not for rent, to any god or government.”  I feel the RUSH.

It’s done gone crazy: volleyball, tumbling, football, my classes.  I’m gonna live in my car for a while.  I guess miles will be put on for "life" stuff…seems I’m kinda pulling away from the music crowd, the other crowds.  I am seeing who is important in my life and right now that is my children.  

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I’m heartbroken for my boy.  He has lost a friendship, for the present, anyway and he has no idea why.  I feel like he is fighting a battle with one arm tied behind him.   School is tough, friendships are tough, baseball is tough, girls (so far) have been tough and he isn't even dating age yet!!   He seems to have decks stacked against him in so many scenarios as Maggie, more often than not, manages to float through this stuff relatively unscathed.  I'm glad I have Mags with me to love this Boy of ours.  At one point, his world has to change, right?  <I want to run far, far away with my tribe>

Picture:  The Little Dude with needle and red thread from Sabol's class.