September 27, 2014

I slept til 10 again this weekend.  This push throughout the week is proving itself and by Friday around 8, my body says “done”…granted, I’m up till around 11 or so, but I am getting a good 11 hours of ZZZs.  I had a lot of plans today – the main one being a meeting with the puppy trainer at 1 and then a trip to recovery at 8.  In the meantime, since I hadn’t heard from anyone, I decided to spend the day cleaning, namely the carpet.  It doesn’t smell, but despite immediate cleaning, there is still a nice dotted pattern and if I ever want people over, I’d like to be rid of that.

However, before I could get started, I heard from someone very dear to me who had experienced a major breakup in his life.  I felt so honored that he opened up to me and was sharing his heartache with me.  Sadly, as heartaches do, there is no magic solution, yet I hope I left some words of comfort.

Close to one, I headed towards Cameron Park.  While waiting at a stoplight (and this really is how my brain works, so bear with me), I noticed someone crossing over the double yellow line to get to the turning lane ahead, as the row of cars waiting proved too long to access it from his position.  That got me thinking (duh) about my own fears in “crossing over the double yellow line” in my life…often waiting longer than necessary (when it is “safe”) instead of taking a risk.  I find it amusing, for lack of a better term, that I took risks all too often with my life doing things that were wrong or bad for me, yet when it comes to the good stuff (like finding an appropriate job where I can use the skills I am learning and possible even make more money), I hesitate…because  working in education is comfortable since  I’ve done it since I finished my bachelor’s degree.    Headed on, picked up crickets for Violet and hooves for the dogs, then to Petco where I was the only person there, so I got 1-on-1 treatment.  Since I don’t have “normal” puppy problems (of course I don’t.  Have I ever had a “normal” dog??? ---btw, I DO realize that this all points directly to me), we talked about solutions and yes, a crate was an option.  I was to return later with Annie to fit the correct-sized crate, but first I bought a gallon of Nature’s Miracle.

At home, I am happily dumping NM all over the stains…cleaning Mabi’s crate, preparing the area where the crates (and dogs) shall now be residing.  I also made more soup, listening to classical music and felt BEAUTIFUL.  When I listen to classical music, my life becomes a storybook…it EXPLODES into a fairy tale when there is sudden rain.    I have been doing this salad yoga thing for about a month, yet suddenly overnight my body is changing.  I like it. As it got closer to crate-fit-time, I decided to take Mabi along for the ride. She would go nuts if I left her alone…she’s already going kinda nuts.  Through effective and expert canine psycho-analysis earlier, I came to the conclusion that Mabi, with her wily ways, is the one leaving many of the “gifts” for me.  Annie just does it because she thinks it’s ok, since alpha dog is doing it.  **Note – later that night, when I’d just gotten home, I wasn’t responding to Mabi’s pleas to throw the ball fast enough so she PEED RIGHT THERE (I’m pointing to the carpet)!!!  I know it wasn’t Annie, because she’d gone to her crate to chew on a hoof!

As promised, I headed to MotherLode AA for the 8 o’clock meeting.  Saw quite a few new faces (which is to be expected as I haven’t been there in about a year), but more faces that I knew.  I was also thrilled to see the person I was meeting saunter in.  It’s tough for anyone trying to get into recovery, because it happens when your life has gone to hell and you are trying desperately to regain any semblance of hope, but it is damn hard when you’re a teenager.  I was thrilled that, after my stern suggestion in getting a sponsor, he got one during break.  You know, I am so lucky to have made it not once, but twice.  I won’t say I’ve got this down for the rest of my life, but I am thrilled that, despite going out and living Life, I have not seen it necessary to drink.  I can be around it all day long (and often am at music fests), but I have the ability to play that tape all the way through and am still not at the point where I believe I can “just have one” (to all you people that just have one, you are WEIRD).  It was a terrific evening, I headed home, did some more quiet yoga (though at night, there are no roosters, so I’m cock-less, which is the story of my life…)  And on that happy note, I bid you a good evening.

Pictures:  Mt. Ralston hike, Desolation Wilderness 11-10-13.