October 7, 2014 GIANTS!!! NLDS CHAMPS!

Woke up this morning with not enough ZZZs under my belt, despite skipping yoga again this morning.  Some nasty habits are starting to sneak in again <more details on one later> (NOOOO!!!  Not that nasty habit)  I managed to get dressed and  started music off this morning with Ms. IGGY (too much language, even for me), eventually ending up with WSMFP.  That felt good.  I got to school and noticed I looked like David Spade/Joe Dirt’s wife.  Seriously – the hair looked like a feminine mullet.   I struggled all day to keep my eyes open.  The game was definitely worth it, though.  Tony Bennett!!!

I had a few minutes for a quick power –L.D.W.M.E.C. (lying-down-with-my-eyes-closed), since I can’t nap that quickly.  My thought pattern included:  the seasons.  It was 100 in my car today, yet it is Fall.  I thought about the seasons and their timing for another 10 minutes until I started falllllliiinnggggg…, and then Mabi barked and woke me up (of course). The boy and I for dinner tonight – we cleared up the rest of the dumplings and had a great salad, then he forced me to make a pizooki.  I love that kid, but clothes are getting snug again.  The volume is back on yoga (L talked me through it), so 5:13 is  on again for tomorrow morning.

Received a phone call today regarding the potential practicum site and the stipend.  Unfortunately the deadline is tomorrow and it requires an essay.  My head has been pounding all day (Giant hangover) and I cannot create an essay with would be worthy, so I will not be getting the stipend.  Does this lengthen my degree?  Quite possibly, who knows.  It’s a little tricky because of classes/homework/work, being a single mom.  My kids need me as much as they ever did (just differently) and I’m not willing to sacrifice that.  Once I complete classes (May), then perhaps I can focus solely on my hours.  It is tough, though…I getting about a quarter of what the divorce papers say I should get for child support and alimony never really made it after the first year, so I  must work.  I’m happy to support myself and my kids, though it is difficult at times, we have an amazing life.  I remember when someone told me I could NEVER make it on my own.  SO.DAMN. GRATEFUL.

This morning, I received the sweetest message from someone who wrote about our tribe being so fun-filled  and he wanting to escape with us for a while,  and while I agree, I’d like to clarify. Yes, we have FUN, we have a lot of fun…but it isn’t always like that .  Not at all….  I am not one of those “oh, my life is so perfect”  posters.  There are a LOT of frustrations, especially with Boy (only because I react to him).  Those kids also have a lot of frustrations with me:  I embarrass the HELL outta them, which may seem funny to adults, but the to them it is mortifying.   I also lose my patience,  My language (in the car) is often filled with adjectives, and I am not the best housekeeper (I’d rather go somewhere than clean).  I wonder what kind of a message this teaches the kids, though we do have a “fairly ok” clean house.  I think the most I can teach the kids is how to have an open attitude to life.  Set high expectations and you usually end up disappointed.  People call me a hippie, but I think what they see is my attitude.  I found this " A Hippie meets the world with an open heart and mind. It's all about a carefree state of mind" and that is what I try to do (except when I'm driving).  A guy saw the Stealie on my car today and we talked about the Grateful Dead a little.  He is a Deadhead, I'm not, but I love those attitudes...  #Hippiealltheway.

I am listening to the game and think I like listening better than watching on tv.  I can “see” the plays in my head, which is fantastic and talk about a time saver (except for now, when I’m watching the “Gameday” graphics).  It's so wild that the umps in SF are talking to umps in NY over a play.   I didn’t force Ethan to go to yesterday’s game, but in all his introverted goodness, I practically saw his skin crawling to the noise and chaos.  I think he went for two reasons a) to miss school, and b) because he knows how fun our adventures can be <they aren’t always> .  I’m glad he went…as we were listening earlier, he said next time he wants to go at night, so maybe it wasn’t as bad?  I DO know that yesterday’s game cost the same as about 3 regular games for all three of us, so next adventure for us will be hiking.  <smile> Great news!  Dodgers are GOING HOME and the GIANTS WON the DIVISION!!!

Pictures: Checked my tomatoes..they are about done, as is my basil.  Time to start winter plants; WITHOUT fail, I step in it EVERY time, even if there are no dogs in the vicinity;I need to be careful with my forks and the silverware drawer, though I realized I should take my silver (fork on right) out.