December 18, 2014

I fell asleep before 9:30 PM last night so I was <sadly> up much earlier than desired. Fortunately, I managed to snooze back-but then I was a groggy, sleep -drunk mess when the alarm went off.

It was a short day-finals and then a group party. I learned the student I’d worked with so much, who then shut down, is back where she wanted to be.  I guess it’s win-win, in a loss-loss, type of way, only she doesn’t realize it.  And then there’s me.   It's a punch in the gut when you realize yet again that you're not where you belong. But I know a huge part (mostly of the part?) of that is mine…because I “need to feel right” - feel like “this is the right place.”  It’s  attitude, I know, and yet….   So in a truly positive way, I made use of time and instead of sitting in a room where adults were talking about “before my time”  I talked with a kid, then filled out paperwork from my site work in the other room and made a live scan appointment.

It was time to pack up for San Francisco but I couldn't get moving, so I got out all the gifts I have to wrap. That got me moving a little. I ate more French onion soup which I made the other night. It's amazing how great I feel when I'm not bloated. It's also sadly amazing that I have to mention the word bloating.
All that mess those “old people commercials talked about when I was a kid are happening to me.  <erghgerhgehgrergheremphphphp!!>

 Traffic was absolutely terrible on the way to class: it took me an hour to cover a point that usually takes me 10 minutes,  so I made use of TED talks and listened to quite a few of them.  Now you can ask me anything you want about romantic love (Helen Fisher and the Science of Love) and whatever the other topics were I forget<see post 3>.  I learned there are three parts to the brain/love: lust, romantic love and attachment and that it is not a “feeling.”  My problem is I can’t do casual sex and so the lust has to be attached to the other two.   If it were up to me, the human beings might have died off.  Class was terrible, just so terribly dull, but I did discover that I had something in common with a classmate of mine that's not a good thing to have in common and my heart goes out to her.

Class is done.   I have five weeks off!   I'm so excited to get started with practicum once we get back from Texas. I'm so excited to start moving in a direction.  I think once I finished graduate school I'll be done with school.  I'll have 5 degrees,  three of which haven't really gotten me anywhere.  Hopefully these two shall.  Tomorrow night – HIPS!!!

Pictures:  A VERY special Christmas card from former neighbors in Shingle Springs...my goodness how time has flown, but I still see the little 4 years-year old face. <smile>; A picture from a student.  If she knew I had posted it online she would be floating on cloud 9 for months.  :)