September 4, 2015

 A half ton of gunk was in my chest this morning.  This does nothing for the bra size, by the way, it just adds to the pressure of fun things, like…breathing.  It wasn’t long before I heard a familiar rumbling down the street, a stop, a door slid open, then shut, and the dogs flew off my bed like maenadic beasts and raced to the door where diabolical barking ensued. ”Don’t let them out!” I heard, as I opened the door (there is a slid metal screen door to open, as well).  Poor UPS guy,  It’s a Queensland, not a Rottweiler who was snipped and now has a high pitched bark.

The cool thing, the best thing, is that he was delivering I have long coveted, a messenger bad from..you guessed it, Zürich.  I am not a purse person and my iPhone, wallet, water bottle is just too much sometimes, so I got something which is rugged, built to stand up to a beating (which is good, because the backpack I got in Costa Rica didn’t even last until I got to the airport there before it broke). This messenger bag will last me a LONG, LONG time.  It is made from recycled track tarpaulins, used car seat belts and bicycle inner tubes.  It is rugged.  It is not girly.  It will hopefully outlast a year with me.  Freitag is a great brand of messenger bags and now clothing which are made by hand in amazing fashion. Thrilled I finally have one.  An old classmate from Switzerland and I were in touch for a bit…he lives in SoCal now, teaching.  Without Facebook, I couldn’t be in touch with these people anymore – I was so convinced they were lost forever and now I communicate frequently with many.   Talked to my sister for a brief time - they are on a train on their way to Washington D.C. for a family outing.  I love that lady.  Wish we lived closer....

I had three sessions today, plus a lot of research for my paper.  I made myself eggs and kale for a lunch, then headed off to work.   These people.  It is simply a most divine place to work because, due to the nature of what we do, we are all in sync with one another.  Sure there are issues here and there.. no place is ever perfect, but considering the alternative?  Though there are people from other places I miss, this place wins, bar none.  First session was my little one and it was so sweet to see her…second session, immediately after was an anger management group where it is normal to throw out words like “fuck” and “shit” on a regular basis due to participants...but here’s the thing.  I say those fabulous words all the time, anyway. <grin>  My last  session was a tough one and this is what this agency is all about – all these kids, the littles, the groups, the older ones...they all experience hardships in life.  For some, it is as “simple” as divorced, separated parents <which is ripping apart the entire foundation you have as a child>  For others, it is much more and heartbreaking, so the people here work with them, one minute at a time as they learn means to cope with their personal trauma.  I remember trauma, the after effects and wishing wishing, wishing there were a place where my entire family could go so we could all talk about the problems  facing our family instead of being the only one sent to the therapist to “get fixed.”  Now I get to be that person helping the families and I am so honored.

 

I am at odds with the world as of late.  There are so many accusations flying, fingers pointing (one of which is my own), spewing of hateful words and this causes distress amongst so many.  People react and the action begins.  The bottom line is this. There is no bottom line.  There really isn’t.  As long as different people with differing views of various religious beliefs are made to live together, there shall never be agreement.  As I told a client, the only thing you are in control of is what is in your hula hoop (Self).  You cannot control anything that takes place outside of it, so you must learn how to respond….  I talked a bit about this with a colleague of mine, only it was framed in a different way…a way of needing to be your biggest own biggest fan so that you are not dependent upon others for that.  Knowing, deep within, that “Hey!  I’m fucking awesome!”  is such a powerful tool to have when facing the aforementioned scary world, with fingers pointing and shrill shrieks of blame.

I left after 7 and…headed to Chipotle for my organic chicken salad because REALLY, I can’t cook for a hill of beans lately.  My dad would probably have me quartered if he knew what my cooking skills have become.   I headed home, ate with my two dogs and looked into what I can do for this cough.  Window is closed and humidifier is on.  Hot honey lemon tea (more) and Vicks.  I want to cry.  More perfect hiking weather, but I’ll be in bed working on my last paper <major depression on both aspects>.And to close..a few meaningful words from DeBarge's fantastic 1985 hit "Rhythm of the Night":

When it feels like the world is on your shoulders
And all of the madness has got you going crazy
It's time to get out step out into the street
Where all of the action is right there at your feet....

Pictures: Freitag shoulder strap.  I Am so excited about this....; This is the little guy I saved from the watery death of the shower.  He is one of my bathroom guards; Someone gave me a heart-on at work.  Love it!: The beautiful sunset as I left the office.