September 9, 2015

Two o’clock last night…2:08  was the last time I looked at the clock and it took me a bot thereafter, but I eventually fell.  At 7:00 that ever-annoying alarm screamed again.  And I got up – to see the green light was on with the coffee, only…I’d forgotten to fill it with water.  I woke the boy up, who still has no iPhone.  Maggie’s door was shut, but every morning I am chided for waking her when her alarm is going off in two minutes, so I left her be awake on her own.  Until it as 20 minutes until go time and she was still asleep.  HA!  MOTHERS DO KNOW BEST SOMETIMES!

Dropped kids off at school and headed home.  I hadn’t actually managed to get dressed (NO.  I was wearing a robe.  Can’t believe you even thought that), then day dreamed a bit more about the Chevy Nova.  I came this II close to getting it.  I still hadn’t heard from my guy though, so….  Be responsible, Ali.  Yes, it is an investment that could be good, but you have the bus and know nothing about cars.

 Off to lunch with Jen and group supervision, but so concerned about my boy.  Hadn’t heard back but from one of the teachers.  Not even from dad, which kinda irritated me, but I also see again and again how I create the story as to why “this” is or isn’t happening and 9.9 times out of of 10, I am wrong. It is my perception, not reality that fabricates these.  Jen and I commiserated on the raising of our boys, but Jen made a different move than I and her son is a bit younger.  I worry so fiercely over mine – make this move and it could crush him more, make no change and the problem continues.  It hasn’t changed in 9 years…why would it change now?  And then…the BFD – moving to Europe.  How badly will THAT fuck him up?  Not just a new school… new language, new culture, new everything.  Supervision was again, an incredible event.  I learned later in practicum that many people do not have the incredible support system I have at my work site.  One classmate has to pay for her supervision - $80 an hour.  WHAT???  How did I deserve these glorious coworkers?

 Text message from my ally – Boy is practicing in flag football today.  HMMM??  Nothing was sad about that this morning…but it signifies a change in attitude. This is GOOD.  I swing by and dropped off his clothes, texted grandma to let her know boy was staying til 5:30, and then spoke with my financial guy.  The Nova is not a good idea for me.  It would be a good investment for someone else, someone who knew the market and knew the aspects of cars, but I know you fill them with gas, change oil, maybe a little more, but I’m digging in a garden that I know nothing about.   Interesting side note:  Any food choices I choose to post will no longer be safe.  Maggie busts my Instagram posts and Jake and I are FB friends now.  I had to send him a note explaining that Labor Day cake with my medicine…plus the mini cupcakes I may have enjoyed the next day.  I am too honest for my own good.  

 Practicum was great.  I am the student who is there an hour, plus early to hang out with the staff and catch up.  And apparently, according to Weber, I am “the fun one.”  I finished one case study (holy hell, I completely forgot about the whole reason behind the issue) and signed up for the other 2, plus Capstone.  I really need to focus on that thing, too.  Headed out the door in Roseville and saw a HUGE cloud of smoke.  Fire in Jackson, apparently, according to Maggie.  I feel we bonded as a fire family since we helped out in at base camp for King Fire. At home, Ethan and I worked on homework together.  I read his history reading as a “Great Awakenings” minister and woke up Maggie.  Guess the Lord fills me with passion.  <Man, it even hurts to write that…especially after this recent Kentucky clerk refusing to issue same sex marriage license ridiculousness>

Pictures:  The Jackson Fire; Back in Practicum.   I miss these people; Proof for Jake that I had a Cobb salad for dinner; Ethan and I working - New ways (laptop) and Old School (dictionary).