When the alarm went off this morning, I was transported back
6 years in time, when I was a few months into living alone –something which
terrified, yet excited me at the same time.
I had lived with this man for 12 years and now it was me and the kids.
I had started yoga every morning – just like that and because I had so
little money, I lived on peanut butter for a year (the kids ate dinner with dad
every night). It was a very stressful
year, but it was the most freeing years of my life. Sort of.
I had a chat with a gentleman from England who now lives in
Zurich and the kids and I have a coffee date with him at his business when we get there. He is an older gentleman, so don’t get any
ideas – but it is lovely to have connections in this city and perhaps he knows
of someone who knows of someone who knows about something that could help me? And
if not, then I will have had a lovely Kaffe crème on the Limmatquai in my
favorite city. I had my first client at 10 and it has come to
that point, as reauthorization is unlikely.
I thought the day would be fairly easy until noon, but no – it took off
with lengthy prog notes and then…calls here, calls there, Note To File this,
and rush up the hill to go see the Camino house.
As I pulled out to head up to Camino – I got a call from
someone I love very much and it wasn’t good.
We have a habit as women in this society as– and it is something that
angers me very much – of ignoring our own needs to do, do, do for others, take
care of them, take care of the family, work, work, work, until we are run into the
ground and ignoring our own medical needs.
I am very worried, very concerned – what I heard was alarming and I am
horrified that it has gone on this long without seeing a physician. Now, I know
I’m a shitty patient in terms of not necessarily listening to doctor’s orders,
but when something like this happens
(which I can’t mention, sorry…), I immediately take care of it because I have
had too many situations in which my life was teetering and I've learned not to risk it.
I reached the house and I was spell-bound: it looks like a fairy-tale home in this
glorious little town just past Apple Hill.
Much like my Japanese Zen home, it is somewhat out of the way – I have
grown accustomed to being a 10 minute walk away from downtown Placerville, but
that’s ok. Not saying I’d get this
house, nor the other…but if only. Back
down for my phone appointment, my 3 o’clock had cancelled; I went to the
shelter for a session there, then back to wait for my 5 o’clock, who was a
no-show. So I went home…
..and out of desperateness in the last weeks, despite the sinking
sun, I grabbed the dogs and we headed into the mountains for a hike. Initially I stopped at the lake, but it wasn’t
enough and I had the headlamps with me, so we went on a night hike. It was so lovely hiking under the stars. So soothing…smelling that rich scent of
sanity as I hear the insects sing their nighttime song. I need to walk more, to get active, stop with the fucking cranberry crunch!! Tomorrow I pack – see Camille before she
heads back to Berlin, get another Fitbit to inspire my walking (I’m very
competitive – even with electronic gear).
Then? Packing. Packing, packing, packing. Next weekend is the garage sale at the storage
facility – hopefully we will make some money for our family fund.
Pics 'n Flicks: The Camino house; A bird sings; The low-level lake; Insects songs.
No comments:
Post a Comment