October 11, 2015

Woke up.  I hate waking up somedays…like today.  I have had a feeling of foreboding  too many time this week and now it’s back again.  Sleeping is great because nothing is real.

Tear-down has begun.  Yes – we have no boxes yet (Brent will bring back some from the hospital), yes we have no idea where we will live, but we need to start sorting: sell, keep, trash.  And I haven’t begun the cleaning from the Book of Tidying Up.  This morning I started in the kitchen and parted ways with many things I have such a strong emotional attachment to – that pinwheel Ethan made me in first grade, the Italian espresso cups I bought in Zurich with Tante Nes.  I took pictures, but it isn’t the same.  Something which has thrown me for a loop:  Ethan.  The kid is humming, SINGING, smiling, laughing.  I’m utterly dumbfounded. 

The kids and I  - after a period of time – headed out on a trek.  I wanted to go check out two houses which were for rent near me.  One was vacant for a reason (we felt).  The other one was cool, but I had the feeling we were not the only ones to think so.  Sure enough – I later got a call that someone had already applied, but if something fell through, we would be put “on the list”.  We picked up cilantro and tortillas and went home to enjoy some delicious chicken tacos while we watched our favorite Doctor Who – “Blink.”  I’m a big fan of weeping angels and  wibbly wobbly timey wimey..stuff.  

Laundry folding – 3 weeks worth – and then.  Park with the dogs.  We really had a lot of fun with them as Ethan played basketball (to practice for  the school team, which begins Tuesday).   A guy came with his boxer and Chihuahua…Mabi didn’t give a damn, she was focused on her ball/frisbee, but Annie, she ran away howling and barking like a scaredy-cat-chicken-pants.  The Boxer smiled and thought, "Oh look!  A freaky thing!" and gleefully followed Annie as she ran around howling and barking, barking and howling.  Mabi did a get a bit snippety when the Boxer tried to play with her.  I didn’t socialize her enough at all.  Ethan, meanwhile, had climbed onto the basketball hoop.  I saw him and things started happening to my body which generally occurs when one is afraid.  There was some clenching and soft cursing, to be sure.  I can so easily envision the worst of things happening.  I looked away and told Ethan to get down…quickly.  He didn’t, of course, so I made the most of it and took pictures with my iPhone.  

Back at home, after a fun stop in the middle of the street where Mabi had dropped her tennis ball on our way to the park, we headed home and I changed for…the gym.  Sigh.  My body is so tired…my muscles are sore.  I have only done cardio this weekend, but tonight I could barely do that.  I had also gotten some cheeses and breads so we could have a “cheese snack”, as we so fondly call them.  We watched more of our Doctor Who as the dogs slept.  They were worn out – which is rare to see.  I wish we had a spare hour every day.  I looked for more homes, there really isn’t much available.  I’m freaking out a little, so I texted my financial planner, bless his heart and he responded immediately.  I’ll phone him after tomorrow’s  a.m. client session.  

Pictures: Park adventures, Ethan's pinwheel and Mags helping Ethan make his own bullwhip.  He is interested in how the loop breaks the sound barrier (768 mph).