Around 4, 4:17 a.m. to be precise, I woke up with my thoughts
focused on a meeting about Ethan Thursday morning (I hope). It is yet another meeting to help Ethan
become more successful in school…. I
have been doing these meetings (and many others) for over 11 years now and to
be honest, I don’t see it changing here.
All the right words are said, I know the hearts are in the right places,
but the bottom line is this: My son
learns in a different way than most of his peers. It takes more explanations, different ways of
examples, and in general, a lot of patience because he hates school. After 11 years of “Ethan struggles in…” or “We
want to help than overcome his struggles…” or even him writing “I struggle..”, “I
could try harder…”, “my goal is to finish…”, “my biggest hurdle is…”. The weight is unbearable. There have been IEPs and 504s. Still, he is always behind. I know, because the second he is with me, we
are in my room, laptop out and we are working.
I know he hates it, but he is diligent about it. Willingly walking that gang plank every
day. Makes me think of 2 weeks ago with the
dread in his voice as he mentioned the whole year which lay before him. I will say it again, I can’t figure out the damn homework assignments, how the hell is he
supposed to? How is this 504 helping
him? L and I talked Saturday. He thinks we should just finish out the school
year. I don’t know. I am filled with dread..reminded of the definition
of insanity – trying the same thing again and again, expecting different
results. It doesn’t work, I know this personally. I know the biggest advocate of Ethan is himself,
but he very clearly is not on the same team as I am, because he doesn’t
think he is worth it – he has never tasted that thrill of victory in realizing
what an incredible kid he is, so how is that to change here?
I took Maggie to school (she had stayed the weekend with me,
Ethan was at L’s house) and on the way she asked me when I started dating. Mind you – it was different for me – I was in
Zurich living with Tanti, able to commute all over the city and outskirts on my
own and I was also very mature and independent.
We talked about that, because there are two very different subjects at
hand here - “dating” as it is now
classified by some, is hanging out with groups of kids and that special someone. A large number of kids are doing this now and
putting off the serious one-on-one stuff until later. The other “dating” refers to sex. This is something which also deals with the
physiological aspects of development as hormones are very active in teens. I told Maggie in my eyes, the most important thing was honest communication with her
partner. 1 in 4 girls under the age of
18 is raped. There are often unwanted
pregnancies. I had a pregnancy at a
young (to me) age despite using birth control.
Her father fathered a child at a young age. These are frequent talks I have with both of
my children at the drop of a hat. I think sex is a very normal and natural
thing – educating our kids is paramount 
After that home and back to Capstone. I had heard back from Weber and was able to
get a lot of it completed – for now. The
biggest issue I have is formatting. At 2
I had a very fancy appointment with Nicole to get my hair “done.” This is, without a doubt, the most exhilarating
thing I have going on right now – that hair washing…oh my god. I made “feel good” noises very quietly (and
unintentionally) as she washed my hair, which is good as she might freak
out. I think she did a fabulous job giving
my hair a beautiful look. After she
finished styling, I convinced her to tale some shots of my so I can change my
LinkedIn photo .
Quick rush home to throw chicken in the oven for a roast, then
off to the store to pick up a few things for the kids and myself. Day 6 or maybe 7 of eggs and spinach! Jake would be so proud. Ran into so many people I knew there: Erin
from Union Mine, Cherie from CMP and Janette from New Morning. It almost felt like an intervention. After this, I headed to CMP for a Math 2
lesson for parents (on how to help our kids).
Oh I would do anything to help this boy.
I’d even take Math again.
Really. I just don’t know what to
do – he needs a psychic change (yes, a little AA talk here) towards school.
At home, we enjoyed roasted chicken and rösti. It was quite delicious. We re-watched the Doctor Who from yesterday with
Strax and then Ethan and I got busy on his homework. He didn’t last long though…he soon fell
asleep, so I sent him to bed. He
mentioned he hasn’t been sleeping well at his dad’s and I know football wears
him out. I am more determined than ever
to help this kid. At one point things
will click. This is not an uncommon
scenario for many boys and I, for one, will do whatever I can to support him.
Pics 'n Flicks: This is Ethan as he creates himself Peanuts-style.
