June 4, 2015

More sleep..more..sleep..more….Zzzzzz.  A night of wonderful dreams which I can’t quite recall, but I do remember I woke up just as we were getting affectionate and I was starting to touch his facial hair.  It always happens like that.  The thing is, my brain knows exactly what’s going on and I think it (I) does this to itself (myself) just to rub it in.  Asshole (self).  I had to take those kids to school and boy, oh boy, the son was not happy with me as I was not exactly thrilled with him.  Filthy room, interesting decisions at school the day prior, so he left the car in quite a huff, but my girl, she left with a smile as she usually does, looking so damn grown up.  It is going quickly.

I headed home to <no!  not sleep!> do stuff, but it was 1 step forward and 2 steps back most of the morning.  I am so lost lately..quite overwhelmed.  I feel my brain bubbling inside the skull, remnants of What Used To Be.  I am also exploding. So damn puffy.  I try this  diet (no eating thisorthatorthis) and that lasts 5 days, then I try that diet (only thisandthisandthisandsummathat).  That lasts 4 days.  I am about as motivated as a sloth.  My body hurts and something has to change.  I am hoping to soon have room for yoga again…I’ll go hard core with that.  I have to, I have to!!!   I can’t keep on like this. 

After getting some Very Important Things set in motion, and after speaking with the Swiss consulate <Sie sind so gescheit!> I headed to the site so I could finish up the treatment plan and prep for other stuff.  I spoke with Haley – she amazes me – earned  a Master’s in London and has her first test this weekend for Licensure.  No one showed for group, so more training and then off to grab my kids from school. As I left teh parking lot, I saw 3 kits moving from one bush to another...I've never seen kits before - rarely see foxes (maybe twice?).  Mamma was off somewhere, probably hunting as these guys were so young.  At school I saw so many people who are special to me..and at this point, I was reminded by Universe why it is so important I don’t ever pick up another drink again.  Godammit….I have been there.  My heart hurts.

 

Off to the dentist where Mags had to get 4 of her canines pulled.  Oh that poor child!!!  Initially she was fine after the appointment (I just had to pay the $85 extra for nitrous from my recollection of wanting to SCREAM when I had my cavity filled…extraction would kill me), but as Ethan and I came out of Walgreen’s for her Rx <another terrific experience and Walmart can suck it>, she was in tear as she had experienced claustrophobia <first time> and thought she couldn’t breathe.  Poor thing was frantic..and the gauze was so soaked with blood it looked like a CSI scene.  I picked up a shake for her per Dr. Goodis’s suggestion, but she couldn’t even manage getting that down.  She laid on the sofa and after I gave her the Rx, fell asleep.

Ethan and I were studying our scuba books.  I have a friend with homes in Cancun and hopefully this will be our next scuba adventure.  Ethan’s friend came by to pick up the drum set, so Ethan’s career as a drummer is over.  Not sure he’d be that kind of musician, anyway..he’d be more of a dubstep dude…if those exist.  My girl will miss school tomorrow…I can’t imagine sending her to school within 18 hours of having that done.  Tomorrow night?  SCUBA VIDEOS!!!

 Pictures: Maggie's canines as given to her by Dr Goodis at Pleasant Valley Dental.  I am going to see if she'll let me make a belt buckle out of them!;   Adding fresh lemon to the turmeric/ginger tea; Mags needing fresh air as we wait for her prescription; a beautiful cloud which looked like a hand reaching out. I hear you , Universe.