I worried that at any moment
there would be a knock on the door and there I’d be, naked as the baby Jesus. It isn’t very fun living here at all
anymore. My neighbor commented today
about Friday when the landlord has come in and stripped of the blinds, my living room showing like the neighborhood fish
tank. There are blinds now, because I
wasn’t happy and let him know…but the kids are pissed – their rooms are all
different than they left them. I looked
stuff up on tenant’s rights, but I couldn’t find much about the house being
shown whenever people want to see it – I’ve just been told I should be given 4 hours’
notice. I don’t like this one bit. I think this weekend the kids and I will rent
a storage unit and get our boxes out. I
don’t feel right here, anymore.
I finished up everything for my Capstone
Wednesday – I’m going to go grab some Swiss biscuits to go along with my cover
theme – German traditional dancing. It’s
‘cause Weber told me about his Germanic background, so I wanted to make him
feel he was with his People (I later changed this to a Rammstein song - "Da Hast". Why not?) Then I got
busy packing again…more books. I found
my cope of the Odyssey by Homer, with illustrations by Wyeth. This books going between $200-$900 depending
on the quality. I just love it because
it is such a beautiful book. As I got dressed I dreaded the whole bra thing...they get more and more uncomfortable, so I decided no - no more bra (at least not today). I read again how scientists say they are pointless (I have yet to verify this) and it just feels so nice not to wear one. It's ok, I had a little Eddie Bauer shell on, so the nipples weren't offensive or anything, but in all honestly, I think they were just as happy not be caged that they behaved quite nicely today. The thighs aren't doing so well, though, due to my stress and poor stress-eating, they have started arguing with one another again. Blah. Damn body parts - it's like having small kids again....
I gathered up books to bring to The
Bookery, but I became distracted (probably with the books) and didn’t have time
before Ethan’s doctor’s appointment.
When we got there, he was about 100% more verbal than his occasional “yes”
or “no” during the first visit. While he
wasn’t necessarily “talkative”, there were several complete sentences uttered,
which is a tremendous difference. We
headed back – I dropped Ethan off for basketball practice and picked up
Maggie. Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah
As soon as I
got home it was time to flip and pick up Ethan. We headed to Chipotle for a dinner and got it
to go – then I introduced the kids to one of my favorite past times: dining in my car (though usually I do it
alone). It’s just nice, I think. Grocery store for some needed items like milk
for the kids and a thank you card so I can write Mike and thank him for the flowers
and my 11 year chip. That man is quite a
wonderful man and good to trudge the road with.
I came across some 4th step material papers today from 5
years ago - a really dark point in my sober life. I tore those papers up. If anything, I am seeing that this move is
giving me fuel to put away things I have held on to for much too long. As my friend Anne wrote today – “I have all the
memories I need” – there is no reason to hold on to everything!!! Buddhists
believe that holding on to everything doesn’t give one room for new things and
I think this is true – we hold on to the past.
I want to change that as I prepare to climb my goddamn mountain.
The kids did
a little cleaning and sorting when they got home, but there wasn’t that much
time. It has been a long day. Tomorrow I have Parent Project, the next
night I have my Capstone presentation. I
have looked into a couple of houses and I think I can go view the one I applied
for this weekend along with other people.
It really is tough to rent here….so many people looking. Shoot, maybe I will have to buy. So many grey hairs from stress…..
Pictures: My Austrian dolls from when I was a little girl (which Mags called "creepy"), "What's Happening to Me" (which they already knew everything, so it's kinda pointless for them) and a wooden moon Olivia sent me years ago for Ethan when he was a baby.
No comments:
Post a Comment