Sex 'n guns

Sex and guns.  What, pray tell,  is the possible connection between these two?  Well, I could take a few years and discover correlations – most of them having to do with bruised Ego and jealousy – but for me, there really isn’t any connection.  Those are just the two topics that have been on my mind lately.  Not actual sex, mind you (though I’ll fill you in on my Match.com adventure on later blogs…holy sweet Jesus), but rather how our culture views sex and those sinful body parts: Penis & Vagina.  You know, when you think about it, it is  our MINDS which are sinful…. Penis & vagina are just two demonized body parts.  As I begin my journey into the world of therapist – my ideal job would be that of sex therapist to teenagers. 

Wait!  Hold on a minute, let me explain.

I think many kids get such a horrible mixture of messages from media ("your breasts/penis has to be this big and when you orgasm you have to make this sound and facial expression") to parents  ("this should only happen with someone you love and here is the book Where Did I Come From?”) to school ("boys come in this room, girls stay in here – this is your penis, testicles/breasts/vagina – this is how it works, any more questions,  talk to you parents"). The bottom line is this: sex is a HUGE part of who we are, who we become, how we feel about ourselves and Google isn’t going to answer all the questions.  Sure, it can let your 17 year old son/daughter know all the symptoms of STDs, or how sex works, but who can they talk to about having difficulty in maintaining an erection?  Their friends? Who will your daughter confide in when she has a question about vaginal or clitoral orgasm?  No matter how parents feel, getting defensive in thinking, “Well, I’ve talked to my kid and they are staying abstinent!” Great!! Yet physiology usually wins out and our bodies were created for reproduction when they are at their prime, around 18 years old. Remember, you were a horny teenager once, too.

I am VERY open about sex and recall when I tried to ask my mom questions when I was a teen/in my 20s/in my 30s.  She A). didn’t know and/or  B). closed up.  This is not to say she didn’t want to be helpful, but so many people come from a childhood of “we don’t talk about those things”.   I would have given anything to be able to talk to an adult who didn’t fluster and turn red every time they had to say the word “clitoris”.  It is my strong belief that we must demystify beliefs created over the last millennium and honor sex for what it is: a natural and beautiful process.  It doesn’t have to be pornographic & we don’t need to feel shame about topics like masturbation.  As long as we don’t engage in such behavior in the canned goods aisle in Safeway it’s all good.

So, my goal isn’t to teach kids how to get each other off, rather to help him learn and treat his premature ejaculation or help her learn ways to ease the pain she feels when engaging in safe sexual behavior. It is important become educated in sexuality.

Guns.  Sorry, I have no smooth segue…. 

I am a teacher of young, beautiful people under the age of 7, so the recent tragic news events were devastating as I easily envisioned those precious faces.   

I’ve also been involved with and work with mentally ill and am fully aware at the fragility of the human psyche.  I cannot begin to understand what happened in his mind.  No one can explain the senseless tragedies that happen every day in this country, whether it be guns, drugs or alcohol, because they are just that: without sense. There are statistics about the number of alcohol deaths being more than gun violence deaths, yet those deaths are not congregated into one mass of victims as these shootings are.

I believe in the right to bear arms.  However, I feel the need to bear arms which can fire 30 rounds in 10 seconds is ridiculous.   

Again, per usual form, Americans tend to be very extreme in this regard.  We are becoming ever-polarized in our thinking, it is all or nothing, and this explains to me why common ground is rarely found.  The solution, as usual, is about compromise.  Guns like the AR-15 is great if you’re in the military (the reason it was initially created).  We do not need them elsewhere.  This is my opinion.  As for a total ban on guns?  I think that’s ridiculous and impossible and bad things will still occur.  On that same horrific day on December 14 in China, a man armed with a knife stabbed 23 elementary students at Chenpeng Village Primary School.

We cannot remove all those things which will harm us, but we do need to find a way to reduce possibilities of further tragedy.  Coming to an understanding of no more assault weapons for the general public could be one step.